faretheewell
I think that you're right in your feeling that Dave is not the right guy for you, but I think that you're wrong in the assumption that Jack is the solution. Maybe Jack would end up being the right guy, but it's the wrong time and for all the wrong reasons.
You aren't happy with Dave. It's sad, but I don't see this relationship working for you. You are not physically compatible, and this will continue to cause problems for you. If you stay in this relationship I don't think that you will end up happy. You've given it a good trial, it's not working.
And you know that. One of the reasons that you're even considering Jack is because you are restless with what you have. You're looking for something more, and Jack represents the ideal. That makes him very attractive to you right now.
But the fact is that you aren't sure what you are looking for right now. You think you know from the holes in your current relationship, but that's a band-aid, not a solution. You have never had a chance to get to know yourself as an adult, and that is a problem. Plus, it isn't fair to yourself or Jack to jump straight into a relationship with him.
You think that leaving Dave would be selfish, and in a way you would be right. It would be thinking only of yourself, but that is exactly who you need to think about right now.
I think you know what you need. You mentioned it yourself in your original post. "...regretting it because I never got to explore men or life by myself..."
It is a big, scary thing to think about, but you need to be single for a while. You need to go out by yourself and explore the big, scary world and your own psyche. Find out what you really need in order to be happy. It might turn out that you don't need anyone else, and that's ok. Being single isn't bad, especially if that makes you happy. Sometime after you've been alone for a while you might meet someone else, either Jack or someone completely different, and they might make you happy. That's also a great ending for this story. Either way, you will be doing everything you can to be confident and love life.
You aren't happy with Dave. It's sad, but I don't see this relationship working for you. You are not physically compatible, and this will continue to cause problems for you. If you stay in this relationship I don't think that you will end up happy. You've given it a good trial, it's not working.
And you know that. One of the reasons that you're even considering Jack is because you are restless with what you have. You're looking for something more, and Jack represents the ideal. That makes him very attractive to you right now.
But the fact is that you aren't sure what you are looking for right now. You think you know from the holes in your current relationship, but that's a band-aid, not a solution. You have never had a chance to get to know yourself as an adult, and that is a problem. Plus, it isn't fair to yourself or Jack to jump straight into a relationship with him.
You think that leaving Dave would be selfish, and in a way you would be right. It would be thinking only of yourself, but that is exactly who you need to think about right now.
I think you know what you need. You mentioned it yourself in your original post. "...regretting it because I never got to explore men or life by myself..."
It is a big, scary thing to think about, but you need to be single for a while. You need to go out by yourself and explore the big, scary world and your own psyche. Find out what you really need in order to be happy. It might turn out that you don't need anyone else, and that's ok. Being single isn't bad, especially if that makes you happy. Sometime after you've been alone for a while you might meet someone else, either Jack or someone completely different, and they might make you happy. That's also a great ending for this story. Either way, you will be doing everything you can to be confident and love life.
Wow, I think every single WORD in this post made perfect sense to me; you really just summed up my entire feelings about my life and relationship right now. That's pretty much what I was looking for when posting this. Not someone to make the decision for me, but to help me figure out my own thoughts.
I used to think that I knew myself. But I think I know now that I understood my child self. I'm becoming an adult and I don't know who that person is yet. Maybe I just need to... take a LONG time to figure this out. Thank you so much! I'm going to bed now. heart
I used to think that I knew myself. But I think I know now that I understood my child self. I'm becoming an adult and I don't know who that person is yet. Maybe I just need to... take a LONG time to figure this out. Thank you so much! I'm going to bed now. heart
