Joking for Gold Contest! ☺

[dj tarah]

so the dad goes to a fortune teller and the fortune teller says i have bad news dad: wat is it fortune teller: im srry but your sons dad only has 7 hours to live 7hrs later the dad says i cant believe it im not dead then the dad goes outside and he sees this guy on the side of the street dead razz  

[alfred f jones 9]

ok here is a dirty joke my sister told me ( if u don't like dirty jokes don't listen) what is the diffrence between a hooker and a drug dealer...................................a hooker can wash and sell her crack again ..........................................i don't like the joke but u's might (don't blame me it's sister's joke >.<)  

[alfred f jones 9]

dj tarah

so the dad goes to a fortune teller and the fortune teller says i have bad news dad: wat is it fortune teller: im srry but your sons dad only has 7 hours to live 7hrs later the dad says i cant believe it im not dead then the dad goes outside and he sees this guy on the side of the street dead razz

i dont get it is he a ghost ?  

[xxBellazxx]

ok this joke is really dumb but ill tell it anyway:

What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee? A bah-humbug. sweatdrop  

[xxBellazxx]

I'm full of horrible jokes so heres another one:

What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
lol im so sorry these are so bad XD  

[xxBellazxx]

Here is a yo momma joke:

Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention rofl im so lame  

[x-Biscuits]

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”  

[ExplodingInk]

Mathematically Blonde:
What is 123,967,365 x 10 x 0 x 1?

Answer: 0

So easy, a blonde can do it ;D

..... with a calculator emo  

[II Satsuki II]

Vegetable Related Jokes & Riddles

Q: What did the apple skin say to the apple?
A: I’ve got you covered

Q: Why aren't bananas ever lonely?
A: Because they come in bunches!

Q: What do fish call a submarine?
A: A can of people.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce Who?
Lettuce in and you'll find out!  

[XHK_FReaKX]

watya call a nut on the wall?... A WALLNUT! lol xd  

[x-ObeyRose]

One day this girl, who is wearing a skirt, goes out to play with her friends.

She goes to the park and meets a boy. They talk about climbing trees.

The boy says to the girl: "Go on climb that tree."

The girls climbs up and the boy just stands there and looks up to the girls pants.

After a while the girl goes home and tells her mum about what happened.

Her mum says: "oh my stupid girl he just stood there and watched your pants."

The next day she went out again with her skirt on and met THAT boy again.

He told her to climb again and she did.

when she got home she tells her mum what happened again and her mum says: "My stupid girl he just stood there and watched your pants."

The girl replied and said: "No actually I tricked him, this time i did not wear any pants!"  

[Beta Hug Wolf]

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
Doctor: "I've got some cream for that." stare  

[Ashelyyn]

Caller:theres like a thousand people here!

Police: where are you son?

Caller: at the cematary.  

[Katana left the site]

I know a couple of one-liners:
A $5 value for only to easy payments of 19.99!
I swear to drunk I'm not god!
Save the tuna! Eat a dolphin!