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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 12:43 pm
Here we stand or here we fall History won't care at all Make the bed, light the light Lady Mercy won't be home tonight "See you tomorrow," Erik said before making his way out. The entire ride home he did was he did best and began to over analyze. He was fairly certain Joseph was the only person he'd ever met that was more terrified of being stabbed in the back than his own father. I supposed that just comes with being a business man. When he was finally home he couldn't seem to push the whole evening out of his head. Certainly he was over thinking, Joseph didn't see him as anything but an employee. He want's to help you because then you will be more useful to his company, that's all this is. He was pulled from his thoughts by a familiar pressure on his lip. "I've done it this time Antoinette," he sighed as he cradled the cat against him ",God what is wrong with me? Why is it any time someone shows me the slightest bit of ******** kindness I get attached? He's just being nice to me because I work for him." The cat couldn't provide him answers, she could only purr placidly and burrow herself into his chest. He threw himself into bed but wasn't greeted with peaceful sleep. Old nightmares plagued him through out the night until he woke for work. He sighed and looked himself over in the mirror when he noticed something on his forearm. s**t. Not today. There were a series of bright red scratches down his arm that were the source of his frustration. It's been a long time since he'd scratched himself like that during a nightmare. He swiftly bandaged it as best he could before heading out the door to work. It was far from the best patch job he'd ever done on himself and he was a fan of how obvious it was but but would have to do for now. The whole ordeal set him to work about ten minutes behind schedule. He glanced at his phone as he walked into the building about ten minutes late. He scowled at the time on the phone as if it had done something wrong before finally making it to where he needed to be. He poked his head into Joseph's office. "I'm sorry I'm late," he apologized and left it at that. You don't waste no time at all Don't hear the bell but you answer the call It comes to you as to us all Yeah, we're just waiting for the hammer to fall, yeah
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Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 8:22 pm
Joseph nodded his head when the other man left, grabbing the container of food before leaving. With Erik gone Joseph would finish cleaning everything up and setting everything away. Once that was all done he would proceed to turn the television off before retreating to his bedroom where he would dress down into a pair of boxers before turning off all the lights and slipping into bed. Joseph would turn on the lamp on his night table and grabbed "The ABC's of Murder" before turning back to the page he was on previously. He'd proceed to do a bit of light reading before finally closing the book on yet another riveting chapter and settling in to go to sleep. Joseph was admittingly enough quite a deep sleeper and it took quite a bit to wake him up in the middle of the night, however his body was like a clock and always usually woke up a couple minutes before his alarm anyway like clockwork. This morning was no different. Joseph would go about his usual morning routine and by the time he was in his office he was prepared for another new day. Now he just needed to finish up a couple more deals and his plans would be nicely set, however he noticed though that Erik wasn't in on time. What was this about? He left at a rather reasonable hour last night. Strange. Once Erik arrived into work and poked his head in Joseph would look up from his computer "Stop. Come here" he called out to the other man to stop him from retreating into his own office, not that it would have stopped Joseph of course. The CEO would stare at the bandages for a moment before looking up at Joseph "Is everything alright? You didn't strike me as someone who came in late on their third day of working somewhere" he commented, staring directly at Erik with his icy and indifferent gaze. (OOC: )
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Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2019 12:34 am
Here we stand or here we fall History won't care at all Make the bed, light the light Lady Mercy won't be home tonight Erik cringed when Joseph stopped his retreat, he also caught the glance at his okay at best bandage job. He found his other hand unconsciously drawn to the wound and wrapping around it almost protectively. He didn't want to answer his employer's question. It was silly, a grown a** man having horrible nightmares that caused him to injure himself. He kept his eyes firmly locked on the corner of Joseph's desk as a way to not look at him. "I accidentally slept through my alarm," he replied ",it won't happen again." It wasn't exactly a lie but it certainly wasn't the truth. He had actively avoided the part where Joseph had asked if he was okay because he was most certainly not. His only hope was that he didn't appear as shaken as he felt. Yet another reason he refused to return home, the nightmares were worse when his family was around. He suspected their reappearance had to do with them insistently contacting him. The paranoid part of his brain was screaming at him to run, retreat to his office before Joseph saw through him but he stayed put until he was dismissed. You don't waste no time at all Don't hear the bell but you answer the call It comes to you as to us all Yeah, we're just waiting for the hammer to fall, yeah
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Posted: Mon Aug 26, 2019 10:57 pm
Joseph's eyes narrowed in on the other man, this wasn't the same Erik he'd spoken too last night. His body language was all he needed, how he spoke and stood were no problem but how he refused to look at him as well as holding onto the bandaged arm? There was much more to this than he was letting on "I asked if you are alright, not why you were late" he stated before motioning to the leather chairs that were in front of his desk "Erik I am asking you as....as a friend..." the way the "F" word rolled off his tongue was foreign to him, it was not a word used often unless it was in the design of a toy "...If everything is alright, did I do something last night? Maybe your workload is more than you could handle? It's alright if it is, I am asking you to take on a big load" frankly it was the job he agreed too but Joseph had no problem with pulling back on the workload if it was too much for one person to handle. He understood that not everything one was his previous secretary and everyone was different and able to handle different things. (OOC: Two ******** weeks, I am so sorry. That just ain't right)
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Posted: Tue Aug 27, 2019 12:45 am
Here we stand or here we fall History won't care at all Make the bed, light the light Lady Mercy won't be home tonight Erik hesitantly took a seat as Joseph continued to talk. He couldn't help the wave of embarrassment that washed over him as his employer began to question him. He could understand why the man would think either he had done something wrong or that Erik was over working himself but this whole situation had him wanting to gouge at his arms. I can't do this! I can't do it, I can't do it, IcantIcantIcant! "It's not your fault," he forced out ",it's not the job. I'm under a lot of stress but none of it is because of you or this job. Honestly that is probably the easiest part of my life right now." He was struggling to get the words out. He didn't do well with opening up about his own issues. His brain was telling him to panic, his throat felt like it was closing in but he dug his nails into his palms and pushed on. "I've just got some issues," he continued ",my brain and emotions feel like they are turning against me and I'm not handling it well. Right in this very moment I am not okay but I will be." He still refused to look at Joseph. He couldn't look the other male in the eye and admit his weakness. You don't waste no time at all Don't hear the bell but you answer the call It comes to you as to us all Yeah, we're just waiting for the hammer to fall, yeah (OOC: It's all gucci my dude. I just assumed real life took priority.)
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Posted: Tue Aug 27, 2019 2:21 am
Joseph would sit by quietly as he let the other man work through whatever was going through his head. However he was somewhat surprised by the other man's response, so it wasn't the job, the workload. or something Joseph did himself? He continued to listen to the other man quietly and it became apparent to him that the other man was dealing with issues that were well bellow the surface. That was something he could relate with to some degree, but how much he didn't know. As Erik continued on speaking Joseph quietly sat there and let the other man speak as he turned in his chair to stand up from where he was. However he was listening the whole time as Joseph approached a mini fridge in the corner where he pulled out a bottle of chilled water and walked back over to Erik and sat down in the chair beside him. He would remain silent for another moment as he silently handed him the cold drink "I see but will you truly be OK? Or will you just bury things deeper hoping they don't come out next time?" he spoke wisely, perhaps almost as if he knew certain coping mechanisms. Joseph would turn the chair to the side a bit so that he could proper look directly at Erik "I don't claim to understand what you're dealing with Erik, however I have an idea and I believe I can relate to some degree" he just wanted the other man to be able to breath again and know that the CEO wasn't judging him over anything "I wasn't always the man I am today, at one point I was expressive, open, and a much friendlier individual" Joseph wasn't a foolish man, he knew just how much he had changed since those days "I had close friends, family, and a lover. I had what one would consider the dream lifestyle" it was the first time he openly spoke about his own life, even if it were in vague terms "However a series of events took place and now all those people are gone and instead of coping with the..." he paused for a moment, still not keen on giving out too many details "..Issues..in a healthy manner I turned in on myself, I keep everyone at arms length, and I emotionally stunted myself" all the while his expression didn't falter whatsoever as he spoke, his stony and ice cold expression didn't budge an inch showing just how honest he was being. He would then reach out and placed a hand on his shoulder as he took a deep breath and relaxed himself for a moment to show just a hint of genuine understanding "I tell you this because I want you to know that you can trust me to understand, even just a little bit" Joseph would squeeze the others shoulder just a little bit just to add emphasis. (OOC: Thank's for being so cool about it)
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Posted: Tue Aug 27, 2019 4:26 pm
Here we stand or here we fall History won't care at all Make the bed, light the light Lady Mercy won't be home tonight Erik fiddled a bit with the water bottle as he took in what Joseph was saying. There was part of him that felt guilty that Joseph felt the need to share personal information with him to assuage his fears but he also knew Joseph didn't do anything he didn't want to. He wasn't wrong either, Erik's usual mode of dealing with his own emotions was shoving them down until they couldn't be shoved down anymore and he did stupid things as a result. He could tell the other cared to some extent and he wasn't sure if that made the whole situation better or worse. "You're damn perceptive you know that," he said with a humorless laugh ",you may have just missed your calling as a therapist." He was deflecting momentarily until he could gather his thoughts. It was his go to defense mechanism. "My family wants me to move back to France," he started to explain ",my mother really wants me to be part of the family again but my father said I'm not allowed to be gay if I want to see them which is about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. They've been hounding me constantly about it. My sister has even went as far as to send me pamphlets for conversion therapy camps. They did this to me when I was younger and it took a huge toll on my mental health. I purposefully wrapped my car around a tree because I was hoping it would kill me. I struggled with nightmares that were so vivid I would claw at myself when I was asleep. Its been years since that and I thought I was better but for some reason the nightmares are back. There, I'm a grown a** man who was late to work because he had a bad dream." he sighed heavily and dropped his head into his hands. "God I'm pathetic."You don't waste no time at all Don't hear the bell but you answer the call It comes to you as to us all Yeah, we're just waiting for the hammer to fall, yeah (OOC: It's really all cool lol. Like I normally say I just wanna hear from my rp partner at least once a month and you're normally on top of it so if I don't hear from you I just think life came first and you'll reply when you can.)
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Posted: Tue Aug 27, 2019 4:54 pm
Joseph remained seated and quiet the whole time while Erik took his time to collect his thoughts. It was rather funny though, the thought of him of all people being a therapist, he'd probably be out of business if that were the case. Still though Joseph would listen to the other man speak as he finally explained that his parents wanted him to come back to France to live with them. But then a big problem became clear, homophobia. Ahh yes, the truest way to ruin your child's life if they aren't straight. He didn't take his eyes off Erik as he continued to listen about how his family treated him and and sexuality and unsurprisingly enough it was horrid to listen to. Then to find out the other man's own sister sent him pamphlets for conversion therapy of all things which, on the outside didn't phase him, but underneath the surface Joseph felt his blood boil slightly. Those kind of places should just be abolished, they teach people to be ashamed of who they are and can ruin someone mentally for the rest of their lives. Then the other man went on to explain about what happened to him and how he'd ended up hurting himself due to vivid nightmares. Once that came to light Joseph would shake his head a little bit at the others comment "Hardly" he stated in a neutral tone "You suffer from poor mental health due to an abusive family, you're not pathetic for it" Joseph wasn't one to beat around the bush, he was straight forward and very honest when he spoke "I have no right to tell you what to do but if I were you I'd just block their numbers and cut them out of your life. Clearly they don't respect you as a person if they're still treating you like this" he then shook his head "That is just my opinion personally, I apologize if I overstepped but I feel that I only spoke the truth" (OOC: )
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Posted: Tue Aug 27, 2019 5:25 pm
Here we stand or here we fall History won't care at all Make the bed, light the light Lady Mercy won't be home tonight Erik did his best to ignore the part of his brain saying that Joseph was just trying to make him feel better. He knew better than that. He knew Joseph was right, that things would be better if he just cut them off entirely. He'd thought about it before but every time he did the smiling faces of his nieces and nephews formed in his mind and his heart caved. He loved those kids. He'd promised his oldest niece no matter what he would never leave her and here he was a world away. "You're right," he answered You don't waste no time at all Don't hear the bell but you answer the call It comes to you as to us all Yeah, we're just waiting for the hammer to fall, yeah
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Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2019 9:44 am
Joseph quirked a single eyebrow at the short and simple reply. Well now that just wasn't convincing. Either way though Joseph would simply nod his head a little bit "I won't press any further Erik, just take care of yourself and let me know if there's anything I can do for you" he stated as Joseph eyed the other man, curious if there was anything at all that could be done for Erik. (OOC: )
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Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2019 2:23 pm
Here we stand or here we fall History won't care at all Make the bed, light the light Lady Mercy won't be home tonight Erik rubbed a hand over his face with a sigh. He felt lost. Yes on the one hand he knew Joseph was right and he'd be better off with out them, on the other he felt like he was betraying the only people who might actually care about him. Am I just that worn down? "I just don't know what to do," he sighed ",I know you're right and I would be a lot happier and healthier if I just cut them out. No more waking up every morning sick to my stomach, no more panic attacks just because one of them calls me, no more laying in bed to paranoid to sleep but every time I think about just cutting them out I can't help but think of my niece. That girl thinks the world of me and it's not her fault she as my brother as a father. How do you tell a eight year old that you still love them you just can't be around her family? My parents are going to turn me into public enemy number one to anyone who will listen including those kids. I just don't want them to hate me." He dropped his face into his hands and bit back the urge to start pulling his own hair out. "This would be so much easier if I could stop caring," he added as an after thought. You don't waste no time at all Don't hear the bell but you answer the call It comes to you as to us all Yeah, we're just waiting for the hammer to fall, yeah (OOC: Wf? I don't know what happened but half of my reply is missing. I'm sorry.)
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Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 7:47 am
Joseph watched the other man's actions closely. This was something new, the other man seemed to be rather all over the place at the moment, it almost struck him as frustrated in a way. He would then listen to the other man speak and nodded his head when the other man acknowledged that he didn't know what what to do and Joseph would then listen to the other man as he elaborated on what was troubling him. As he listened to the other man explain what was troubling him Joseph would slowly begin to realize why he was being troubled as he was and nodded his head slowly. So that was why the other man refused to cut them out of his life, it all began to make sense now and Joseph began to understand why he was acting the way he was. It really was a powerless situation as much as he loathed to admit it. No matter what way one looked at it Erik really was in a horrible situation "It seems like no matter who it is family just seems to love ******** over their kids...." he stated aloud, although he was more so talking to himself than to Erik, suddenly old feelings of resentment began boiling to the surface as he listened to Erik's story as the CEO took a deep breath to calm himself. How could any parent's do such awful things to their own children? It was repulsive. "...." he chose silence for a moment to gather his thoughts together before speaking "You are without a doubt in an awful position and I find it abhorrent that they would be capable of such a thing" he began as his cold gaze softened a bit towards Erik "I will say though that the fact that you do care shows your character very well" he stated pointedly before realizing that such a statement may need some elaboration for it to make sense "You still love and care for your Niece despite who it is she's related to, you may not care for her family but you do care for her. It shows me that you care for more than just yourself" he explained as best he could. Joseph was good at judging ones character, however putting it into words was always just a tad more difficult. Nonetheless he would nod his head "Listen I won't force you if you don't want to but we do have a company therapist down the hall if you wish to speak to her. She's the best out there and she may be able to help you at least just a little bit" he stated "And of course everything said in those meetings are completely confidential, even I am not allowed access to whatever is said in there" Joseph concluded, wondering if the other would be interested in such a thing. (OOC: I was a bit confused at first lol, rip your post)
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Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 2:31 pm
Here we stand or here we fall History won't care at all Make the bed, light the light Lady Mercy won't be home tonight Erik snickered a bit as Joseph pointed out he didn't hold it against his niece for being his brother's daughter. How could he? She didn't choose to be born and certainly not to the walking dumpster fire that was his brother. She was innocent in all of this mess. He hesitated when Joseph brought up the company therapist. He had someone who prescribed him head meds but it wasn't the same, they didn't actually talk to him they just gave him drugs. He chewed on his lip as he debated before letting out a heavy sigh. "I suppose it can't hurt," he finally decided ",certainly better than what I have been doing about it which is a resounding nothing." He'd mainly been internalizing everything which was probably why he felt like s**t all the time. Most mornings he felt like it was a miracle he made it out of bed. He rubbed a hand over his face. "Do I gotta set an appointment up or something," he asked as a follow up. He wasn't quite sure how this worked. You don't waste no time at all Don't hear the bell but you answer the call It comes to you as to us all Yeah, we're just waiting for the hammer to fall, yeah (OOC: This is like the third time it's happened. Gaia has a vendetta against me.)
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Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:17 am
] Joseph was relatively pleased when the other man decided to agree to visiting the company's therapist. The CEO had made sure that she was the real deal and would give only accurate help to the people in need. He knew that usually she dealt with stressed out and overworked employee's but while he didn't know the finer details he also knew that that woman helped several of his employee's through some of the most dire points in their lives which was why he kept her on board. He would then nod his head a little bit as he turned to his computer "She's usually open to walk in's and after everything is out in the air she'll set up one meeting a day with you each of your workdays. It's how she operates, some meetings may be longer or shorter depending on how busy she is but usually she's good at scheduling everyone in" he would explain to Erik before offering a small smile and waving him out "Go on, I'll handle my own calls for now" and almost as if one cue his phone rang and it was a certain somebody he was looking to purchase from which worked out perfectly for him at that moment as the two men began discussing the prices spoken about in the email from the other day. (OOC: )
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Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2019 3:14 pm
EchoMonroe Here we stand or here we fall History won't care at all Make the bed, light the light Lady Mercy won't be home tonight Erik listened to Joseph give him a bit ox explanation on how this woman worked before telling him to go. He frowned a bit to himself as he watched his boss answer his own phone. Oh perfect I am so absolutely useless I can't even do the job I was paid for. Perfect. He didn't fight though just rose from his seat and exited the room. He felt like absolute s**t. everything in him was screaming at him to turn around and insist he was fine. No, Joseph had offered him a form of help and he was going to take it. He certainly felt like he could use a lifeline about now. He'd been able to find her office pretty easily. To Erik's own surprise talking to her helped. He felt a bit of relief and a bit less lost by the end of it. Part of him still felt like a wreck, that wasn't going to change in one therapy session, but she had given him some solid advice on how to set boundaries with his family since he wasn't particularly fond of abandoning them all together. He knew if he wanted to see his niece he'd have to play the game and jump through their hoops to some extent. He left her office and made his way back to his own. He poked his head in to Joseph's office to let him know he was back. You don't waste no time at all Don't hear the bell but you answer the call It comes to you as to us all Yeah, we're just waiting for the hammer to fall, yeah
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