Rape and Abuse Discussion Sticky - Updated 6/28

[demonic_yin]

I've had experiences like that before from my dad and stepfather. Its not a good situation-I ended up cutting and drinking away my blues. Don't let that happen to you. Get out before its too late if you haven't already....life shouldn't be about being scared in your own home or neighborhood. Or even with your boyfriend.  

[requietum ac adamo amor]

Well, I just turned sixteen, and overall I wish I hadn't. I'm really sepressed about it actually, because my dad is giving me s**t. Currently I'am trying to get a job, and considering most of the jobs available at the moment are service jobs rather than labor, and the fact that labor jobs wont accept me because of my age its getting annoying. Really annoying when my younger female cousins were hired and I was denied. I thought about complaining because one interview I had I was told I couldn't have the job because I'am to big, and people wouldn't be comfortable with my size. neutral

Which is bullshit, but oh well.

The main thing stressing me now is my father. Iunderstand there is no hurry, but he wants me to get a girlfriend, and teases me horridly over the fact that I'am sixteen and never been kissed. Most of the reason is I'am homeschooled, and that I have sexual experiences in the past that make relationships with females weird for me. Yet he is always on my a** and asking me when I'm going to get laid. He's gone so far as to buy me panties, saying that I may aswell wear them like the f*****t I'am, or calling me a boy butt liker. neutral I'm about to ******** burst over this s**t. He watches porno around me on purpose, and makes crude and discusting comments.

Most of all he continually makes comments about myself being a p***y, or female. He has, throughout all my life threatend to buy panties, dresses and female stuff of the sort, and it has made a big impact on my life. Infact when I was little I sometimes wondered if he wanted me to be a girl, and if being a boy was bad. Later I found out it wasn't, and that he was being an a** hole. But, still he is making me feel incredibly bad, and this has caused gender identity issues in myself. I have constantly wished I had been female, or sometimes I have actualy wanted to wear the dresses or panties he threatend me with. Although if I wear ever to say such a thing he would beat me. Fact is we are moving out, and away from my father.

But, it does still hurt and I was wondering how I might get over this. Crying isn't my salution, because of my father I have grown into the grow up and deal with it you p***y attitude, and crying is impossible for me. Infact I havent cried since I was seven.

Any help on how to ease this depression?

I don't know if what my father has done to me is abuse, but I wasn't sure were else to post it.

So if you want it moved I'll do it on your word.  

[Nikolita]

Definitely mental and verbal abuse, in my opinion.

I'd say just keep trying to get a job, ignore your dad as best you can, and move out as soon as humanly possible.

If you're depressed, maybe you can try seeing a counsellor, or talking to a friend/trusted adult about your dad's behaviour. He shouldn't be treating you like that. Maybe you can find someone who'd be willing to talk to your dad about how he's acting.  

[requietum ac adamo amor]

Nikolita

Definitely mental and verbal abuse, in my opinion.

I'd say just keep trying to get a job, ignore your dad as best you can, and move out as soon as humanly possible.

If you're depressed, maybe you can try seeing a counsellor, or talking to a friend/trusted adult about your dad's behaviour. He shouldn't be treating you like that. Maybe you can find someone who'd be willing to talk to your dad about how he's acting.

My father knows what he does, and doesn't care. As I'am homeschooled I have no counsellors. sweatdrop  

[Eternal Skies]

I've read quite a few things on here already and I find them very helpful. ^^ Anyway... I kind of 'had' this problem but I never told anyone. And I never shall, especially after you read what I have to say and you want me to blah, blah, blah... whatever. Don't try to convince me to do anything because I won't listen to you. I just want to say what I need to let out my steam.. I'm also doing this to protect my family. You'll understand after you've read this...


This all started 5 years ago, when I returned to California after being in Florida for a month or so. We went back and then all of a sudden, my mom started seeing this guy... I already had 2 younger brothers. He was nice and all in the beginning but he was like.. 20 years older than my mom. EW! We kinda lived on and off with him for about 2 years before my mom had one of his kids. I don't get why because by then, things were starting to get off really bad. We had also moved around 2-3 times during that 2 year period.

When I was 12, I had my own room (yay) and all. That guy (who is a big a** mother ******** evil ) only stayed at our house on Wedn. and Sat. nights. One Sunday.. ( I think) he came into the room early in the morning. I had woken up a bit early and had just lay in my bed for a while. He came in and I pretended to be sleeping. He sat at the edge of my bed and all of a sudden started feeling me.. down there. I just completely froze so I couldn't do anything. After a while, he left and went home. As soon as he left the room, I got up and went into the restroom. I was freakin shaking... then, the next week, for some reason, around .. oh say.. midnight? he came in my room again. I had been asleep but I had woken up, as if my body had known I was in some sort of danger. He came over to my bed again and started pulling my pants down... but once again, I was too scared to do anything. The next morning, he came down the stairs to get something and he was also down there. Just before I went back up the stairs (for I lived in a two-story house) he asked me, "Did you like it when I licked you?" I was like 'What the ********??!!!" in my head and just ran upstairs just as he was about to touch me.

My half-brother was born and we moved again. In that house.. was where he actually tried to RAPE me.. My body woke me, every time it felt I was in danger from that mother ********.. (that shall be his nickname for now) No matter what he did, I would pretend I was asleep and prevent myself from getting hurt in any way. One time.. (he did these several times *shudder*) I heard him opening a small pouch.. and can you guess what it was? yes.. a condom... it made me want to throw up.. I resisted everything he did to me... so he soon got tired and left my room.

When I was 14, my mom was pregnant... AGAIN, with that mother ******** baby. I didn't understand it.. he freakin treated her like s**t and he was always complaining and he fusses over just about everything, like a woman! (that's what my mom says) and she goes and gets pregnant with another of his kids... I was so pissed, I cried... We're really poor.. we have to have Housing... and she goes and gets pregnant again for a total of 5 kids... I keep telling her that we would have been better off with just me and my two brothers.. but NO... she had to go and have TWO more. (FYI: all my brothers are not fully related to me, we all have different fathers and I just met mine this year.)

But.. he, out of all the other men my mom had kids with, was the only MAN to actually give my mom so much money.. so I can't report him.. because.. he'll stop giving my mom money. I know it's a stupid thing to do but.. that's the way I am.. I can't help but protect my family. That mother ******** is gonna die soon anyway because he has kidney stone (thankfully AFTER my mom got pregnant). We moved back to Florida this year to avoid him easier so he'll come and use his money on his own if he wants to visit his kids. I get disgusted whenever my mom or anyone mentions that mother ******** but whenever my mom sees my face like that, she goes, "you should be grateful, he took care of you, blah blah blah" in my head I'm like... "LIKE I GIVE A ********! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DONE TO ME! BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!!!" and I just feel like crying cuz .. it's really my own fault she doesn't know.. but still... I'm not the kind of person who takes risks...

Thanks for reading. Post whatever you want to say about it.. except for what I mentioned in the beginning.  

[Zesty Condom]

I was just wondering if I was allowed to post something that didn't happen to me? I won't use names and its not like I can ask the person in question about it, as she is no longer alive.  

[Nikolita]

Yep, go ahead.  

[Zesty Condom]

During History one day we, some how, got off topic and started talking about abuse. My teacher has had a handful of students who were or had been abused. One story that I really thought was appalling happened to a Junior. Somehow my teacher found out that this girl's step dad was beating her, raping her and her sister and verbally abusing both of them. My teacher went to the counselor at the school and told them what was happening. The counselor told him to shut his mouth and forget about it. Awhile after that, the girl committed suicide. I find it disgusting that the counselor could just brush off such a thing like this. I don't know how they could live their self knowing that they could have stopped her from dying.  

[Nikolita]

Zesty Condom

During History one day we, some how, got off topic and started talking about abuse. My teacher has had a handful of students who were or had been abused. One story that I really thought was appalling happened to a Junior. Somehow my teacher found out that this girl's step dad was beating her, raping her and her sister and verbally abusing both of them. My teacher went to the counselor at the school and told them what was happening. The counselor told him to shut his mouth and forget about it. Awhile after that, the girl committed suicide. I find it disgusting that the counselor could just brush off such a thing like this. I don't know how they could live their self knowing that they could have stopped her from dying.

I've heard that schools are legally liable to do something if a student reports being abused, etc. I wonder if her family could sue the school and/or the schoolboard if they found out that the counsellor knew, but didn't do anything.  

[StreetchIck123]

I really sorry Zesty and the poor little girl. but no offence but your counselor is really ******** up!!  

[freiya]

i was invited to this forum and after searching all over i finally found this sticky, anyways after looking over other pages of it i guess you can say i had an interesting experiance a month and a half ago.

so i was going to bed it was like 2am and i had class at 8am and my roomates were talking about going to the store. so i sleep like the dead, and i think i heard something breaking(a lava lamp) i open my eyes and there is a bunch of guys in my apartment, i couldnt see any of them cause they had hoods and bandanas, one of them pointed a gun at me and yelled at me roll over close your eyes so first wake up thoughts, im dreaming right, but no so i rolled over and im thinking is this seriously real. so they are stealing stuff from my friends apartment, i slept in the living room on the futon cause i didnt have a place to live at the time. one guy told me that he shot my friend for mouthing off *just remembered something new* he said that she was calling them niggers and talking s**t, and knowing my friend she does that. so i beilved them one guy opened the fridge and is like hey these people have pizza then he looks in it and freaks out cause its mushroom. and they are talking about what to take.the legs on the end of the futon fall down so i flip around to try to sneak a peek of what they looked like. and they pointed the gun at me again and they made me put my arms out so they could see them and then procedded to tie my arms behind my back with my blanket between my arms and my back. i heard my siutcase rolling across the floor and i asked them if they were taking the suitcase and they said yeah we are, so i told them to please not take my clothes because those are all the clothes i own*not a whole lot so i needed them* and they all left except for one guy, one of the otheres told him to stay up there and watch me to make sure i didnt do anything stupid. SO he has the gun and such. earlier when they were digging threw things at the end of the futon he grabbed my a**, but he came over and started rubbing me andstuff and pulled off my panties and licked me and fingered me. he made me lay on my arms that were tied behind my back.....that is difficult and very uncomfortable! and proceeded to do his deed. then there was a knock on the door and so he sort of covored me up and let in his buddies. they argueed over if they should take the tv and if there was room in the car. so they all eventually leave again, and that one guys stays and he makes me get up puts my blanket over my head and tells me to go to the bedroom and leaves me from behind. he tells me to get on my knees and covers my head with a pillow. and again does his thing. i was silent the the whole time being as i thought dying was a bad idea at the time. even though i really wanted to yell somethings that would have got me shot like i have aids b***h! or someother horrible disease. he pulled out and they put a bunch of lube on my roomates dildou and used that for a while. and a good time before this i thought bawling is in order as a way to show that i disaprove! and then he stopped i didnt hear the door close but i finally heard the cats wondering so hte first order of bisness was to get untangled from my blanket after that feat i went on to the next getting untied..... and i tell you its HARD! after failing for a moment. i grabbed the kitchen shears and ran out of the apartment to see if my roomates were dead infront or behind the building, i ran into a man who lived in the building and he cut my cord for me and told me to call 911 after i told him we were robbed. i didnt see them so i ran went back upstairs and whipped myself off a bit. and put on flip flops and a sweatshirt and grabbed my purse and house keys. and i was going to the gas station, i stopped a buzzed a friends place on my way there to see if she was awake to use her phone since ours got stolen. and i saw a cop car driving and tried to flag it down... didnt work all within about 2 min... and went got to the bp.....2 blocks away. and called 911 the cops were there instintly cause there was another call from my roomates. i didnt get to see my roomates at all and i had NO idea what happened to them? i saw one outside an ambulance in a yellow blanket. and i gave the cops the house keys they took pictures of my wrists where i had been tied up and took me to the hospital for an sars exam. then i went to the cop shop and talked to people there. then they brought me home and i found out what happened to my roomates... they were getting bags out of the back of the car when another car pulled up and they muggedthem at first then put them in the trunk of their car and drove around getting her money out of an atm. and after they only got $200 they decided to rob us. then my roomate saw them drive away with there car with all of our stuff in it. they made both of them strip naked and get back into the trunk they shot the trunk 3 times and 2 of the bullets hit one of my roomates one scrapped her arm and she has one an inch and a half in her thigh for the rest of her life. and then dumped them naked on the interstate.
were people on there way to work found them. and they came back to the area around the house to find me and they found some chick on her bike and used her phone to call hte cops. at like 5 530is am. and then when i was in the cop car.....they torched my roomates car.
the cops caught all the guys cause they were stupid enough to use my cell phone and there were 5 of them....two 15 year olds two 16 year old and one 23 year old. and the one who did the shooting and killing and rapeing was 15. OH YEAH they shot some guy and killed him before they came messing with us. so i have had to talk to lawyers a few times nad we had a grand jury thing last week about wather or not to try them as adults or not and about the murder in the case. that was alot harder than i expected it to be actually. and they estimate it not being fully over till about march or april at the soonest....

so thats my story. i was doing pretty good at first but ive dropped out of school again i started and was there for a week A ******** WEEK! before all this noise and im mad cause i dropped out 10 months earlier and was just going back. i moved into a new place iwth my roomates. they just got a new car yesterday. i think im kinda depressed right at the moment. ive been skipping work and doing nothing but sleeping all day then i stay up awake for a while and do nothing. ive been smoking ALOT of pot and i drank a bunch at first and slept with a bunch of people at first too. and ive only drank twice in the past 2 weeks..... and just that initself is amazing! but i havent cried since it happened ive tried and i just cant. i didnt think it would really bother me cause i am a slut most of the time anyways.
but yeah......i think i typed alot...........so yeah oops sorry there is alot to read  

[SerratedSprinkles]

THis is really very hard for me to talk about, but since this is a thread were you are supposed to talk about this kind of stuff, i guess I'll tell what happend.

I was 14, and I had a loving boyfriend, his name was Josh. My parents were gone so I let him and his friends come over to my house. Josh broght over 5 friends. We just sat and watched a movie for a little bit, until one of Joshes friends said that we should have some beer. I didnt want to tell them were it was..so they got mad. After that I got raped by Josh and his 5 friends. I am 17 now and still hurt by it. I don't know were they are now.  

[PrinceValon89]

Devils_Pet

I was 14, and I had a loving boyfriend, his name was Josh. My parents were gone so I let him and his friends come over to my house. Josh broght over 5 friends. We just sat and watched a movie for a little bit, until one of Joshes friends said that we should have some beer. I didnt want to tell them were it was..so they got mad. After that I got raped by Josh and his 5 friends. I am 17 now and still hurt by it. I don't know were they are now.

I think it's a good idea that you didn't tell them where the beer was because they would of more than just rape you. Did you tell someone about it, like your parents?  

[StreetchIck123]

dead_eye_24

i wont be dont worry biggrin im here to help

me too, if anyone needs someone to talk to I'm always here everyday  

[AcerRedrum]

*Takes a long deep breath.* Ok, I'm going to start from the begininging.


It started when I was about five, I would go over to my "best friend"'s house, he was sixteen years old. We would play video games...well he would play video games, I would sit on his lap and watch him play. It was during the summer--I know this because I was wearing my swim-suit--he started to rub my leg, then slip his hand into my swim-suit bottom--I wore them to often, that is part of the reason I blame myself. Well, I didn't like it, I told him to stop, he told me that was what friend do though, that I must not really want to be his friend. I felt so bad, I ended up letting him do it. It continued until he had had sex with me everyway but vaginally...he even...pee'd on me...which humilates me to no possible end...He was the worst of my molesters, he was the one who effected me the most.
The second was closer to my age, it was when I was eight-ish, he used the same technique of making me feel bad if I didn't. But he didn't humiliate me the way the first one did, he too was a friend of mine. The third and fourth one were brothers, they were actually the brothers of my best friend at the time. They would hold me down, kiss me and rub themselves up against me, I was eleven at the time they were I think sixteen and twenty-one. I got fast during the time I would stay there from running from them. Blanca (that was my friends name) had eight brothers and sisters, the three older ones would watch and laugh while I was chased, even her mother would laugh. I tried to tell my mom but she said they were only playing. I also went through a lot of verbal sexual harrassment daily during the seventh grade by a boy and during the eight grade by another boy. I would cringe under the touch of any male, I was meek and scared, ******** terrified of males period. I would isolate myself from anyone and everyone because I didn't trust a soul.