[PRP] Once Upon a Name (Pas x Teh) FIN

[Krysin]

Searching for her companion's name had begun to take... quite a bit longer than Susi'mimiteh had expected. It shouldn't have surprised her, since they both had been away from their homelands for so long. Clearly it was going to take a little more effort to secure Pas' name. From what she could tell, Pas didn't look swayed either way. They could find a place of some inspiration, and nothing would come to him... not the way it had come to her. Teh refused to give up hope, however. Pas may not feel the same way, but she'd keep continuing on until the pads of her paws were worn down. The young lioness would hold enough hope for the both of them.

She had just finished conversing with a rather unusual meerkat and returned back to where she had left Pas. Teh had begun to trust that he would be there, though she still didn't like leaving him behind to look for information. It was just quicker to do things on her own sometimes. "I talked to a meerkat," she told him as she walked back up to the young lion. "It doesn't look like there's going to be anything of interest for a couple of miles yet. We're just going to have to keep on travelling and hope for the best."

It wasn't exactly the sort of plan she wanted to have, but it was the only one they could act on. There was still plenty of daylight left to keep moving on, but even Teh was starting to get tired of their endless searching.  

[mouselet]

Pas nodded glumly. He knew that Teh had been out here looking for a name far longer than he had, but now that the lioness had found hers, he couldn't help thinking that he was just slowing her down. Physically, as well, since they both knew he could get lost by a boulder on a sunny day. He appreciated the way she worked around his handicap, but the fact that he'd had to wait like a cub while she talked to the meerkat only underscored that fact.

"It's great that you're helping me," he ventured, "but let's face it. Finding my name is going to take me every bit as long as it would just for me to get home on my own." Assuming, of course, the young male could even manage that feat. He liked to think that he could, but it was really more of a desperate hope than anything else.

"Maybe you should just go back to the mountain without me." Pas forced the words out through the lump in his throat that had developed at the mere thought of saying them. Oh yes, he loved Susi'mimiteh dearly and wanted nothing more than to spend his life with her, but he couldn't justify her being stuck out here looking for something that clearly didn't want to be found.  

[Krysin]

Teh wasn't surprised that Pas was bringing this subject up again. She had already told him that she was going to stick by his side until he found his name, even if this quest went on for seasons more. "Maybe we're going about this the wrong way? We keep on looking for a place of significance, which worked for me, but maybe that won't work for you? We can try to stay in one place for a while and see if anything happens that way..." Despite his doubts about finding his own name, Teh was clearly determined to keep trying. She wasn't the type of lioness to give up, and now that she had gotten so close to Pas, the last thing she wanted to do was call it quits and head on back home.

The lioness frowned at his suggestion, trying not to allow herself to be hurt by the words. He wasn't chasing her off, he just wanted her to be able to go back home to their pride. But... it simply was not something she could do without him. She stepped up to Pas, and lifting her paw lightly whacked him on the forehead. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm not going anywhere without you. It's fine if we don't make it back home for a while. I'm happier out here with you than I would be at home and without you."

That was that. Pas wasn't going to convince her to head home without him, no matter how hard he tried.  

[mouselet]

The lion shook his blonde mane in refusal at Teh's latest suggestion. "I'm not going to stay in one place, not unless if it's home," he said firmly. In truth, the lion was afraid that if he did stay in any place for longer than it took Susi'mimiteh to return to him, he really would stay there forever. And that was not at all what he wanted.

What he did want was, of course, to find his name, to go back to the mountain, and to live happily ever after.

On the other paw, he was somewhat pleased that Teh was finally going to stop looking for "significant places". Yes, they were almost all gorgeous, but the only reason he could appreciate that beauty was because of the lioness beside him. They didn't generally have any real significance for Pas, which may or may not have been part of the problem. His guess was that the only "place of significance" for him outside of the Jini-msemi was probably wherever his father lived. Pas' mother hadn't spoken of him too often, but the white lion had gathered that the mysterious male lived somewhere far away. But none of this was anything he was going to share with Teh. He didn't know why he was so reluctant to do so, but he was. She did already know he was feeling prickly because of the name problem.

"I don't really care, as long as we don't stay in one place," he insisted.  

[Krysin]

"Okay, then we'll keep moving." Teh answered him with a slight frown still carried upon her face. She was definitely concerned. The longer they kept on the hunt for his name, the grumpier he seemed to get whenever they talked about it. She didn't really blame him - she had been in a few dark places herself before coming upon her true name and shedding the childhood name of 'Demani'. Teh was finally an adult, and had completed her naming quest. All that she had left to do was go home and announce the change... and yet she couldn't, not when Pas would be left behind. It was a deep source of frustration, and the worst part was that she could not cure it in herself and neither could she cure it in him.

"I'm not sure what to look for now. Perhaps we can start trying to meet other people more? Perhaps talking with other species will help inspire you. I'm sure the rogues here have plenty of stories to tell..." Of course, there was a risk there too. Not every rogue was guaranteed to be friendly, but so long as there were two of them and only one of whomever they met she was sure they'd be fine. Teh could take care of herself and Pas if she had to.

She turned around then, and began to start walking off towards the distance. "Well, we can talk about while we keep on moving. It'll be better to cover some ground than none at all."  

[mouselet]

His only response was to nod curtly to Teh's response and to move into his accustomed position slightly behind and to her side - the best way to follow her and converse at the same time. Even that had its drawbacks on better days, as Pas could sometimes be distracted and wander off a little...

Well, it was a potential again today as the white lion was grumpy enough that he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going. It was a miracle that his dark thoughts didn't manage to stain his white fur, that was how depressed Pas had become.

And he never even noticed when Teh vanished from his sight.  

[Krysin]

Teh didn't even try to strike up conversation with Pas - it was clear that her companion was lost deep in his own thoughts. She wasn't sure she'd get a response from him even if she did say something, so Teh turned her attention to the grasslands stretching out in front of him. The lioness thought that she could still feel Pas' presence by her side, even when he wasn't there. It took her a little bit to draw back out of her own thoughts to even become aware of her surroundings. The lioness looked back over her shoulder to say something to Pas, but he wasn't there. Her heart froze, and she felt her chest tighten from fear that she had somehow lost him. Or, even worse, what if he had wandered off without her to try and get her to go back home without him?!

"Pas! Pas!" the lioness roared his name, because she wasn't sure how long she had even been travelling without him. It took her all but a few seconds to decide to try and back track. It was likely he had wandered off away from her path, but maybe if she could find his pawprints when they diverged from her's... she could find him.

As she wandered back, she grew even more panicked when it wasn't clear where Pas had gone off to. Desperate for some sort of clue, she climbed on top of the nearest boulder and scanned the area for his familiar white fur. "Pas!"  

[mouselet]

The white lion was currently venting his frustration by gouging deep scratches into the dirt with his claws. It was childish and stupid, but it did manage to bring a smile to the white lion's face as he considered those aspects. Which had the added effect of moderating some of his frustration.

Pas looked up to make this observation to Teh-

-when he realized she wasn't there. Oh. s**t. Wide, pale eyes looked around wildly, but he didn't see a trace of the lioness.

"Teh? Susi'mimiteh!" he called out. Pas planted his feet as he looked around. The absolute wrost thing that he personally could do in this situation was to wander any further. If he did, the odds that Teh would be able to find him again dropped to near zero.

Spirits, he hated his directional failings at a time like this!  

[Krysin]

She couldn't find him. Minutes ticked by, and she couldn't see him anywhere. The lioness made her way back to the trail she had left behind, and steadfastly followed that path, hoping that it would lead her back to Pas. If the lion had wandered off intentionally, she'd probably never find him. It took her quite a while to even find the smallest trace of the path he had left behind. She saw a pawprint on the ground that was bigger than her own, pointing just a little off the line she had made herself.

Determination set in, and she followed that small trail until finally she noticed Pas' familiar coat. She almost wanted to be angry at him for wandering off, but if he had done it intentionally... he would have been gone. No, he was waiting in a single spot for her, and that was the only reassurance she needed to be convinced that he had accidentally wandered off. "Pas," she had tried to call out his name, but her voice cracked with relief at just being able to find him.

She was fooling herself if she thought she could have been made at him. The lioness ran, closing the gap between herself and nearly tackling Pas into the ground. "Pas! What happened!?"  

[mouselet]

"Oof." True, Teh hadn't actually touched him, but he hadn't been sure she wouldn't until the lioness did come to a stop mere clawlengths from him. And the relief on her face was only matched by the same relief Pas felt melting his insides.

"Nothing happened," he answered, hanging his head and looking off to the side. He didn't want to face her and tell Susi'mimiteh that he'd gotten so distracted that he'd just...stopped following. He didn't like lying to her, but the truth was even worse. What if she decided that it meant he didn't care about her? Their relationship was still new and shiny and he couldn't be sure of how much strain it could take.

Sure, she'd stuck with him this long and kept promising that she wouldn't leave him, but he couldn't be certain that that would be the case. Not yet.

Not to mention the fact that he still couldn't find his name made him feel as if he was unworthy of her.  

[Krysin]

"Oh," she replied somberly. Teh wanted badly to embrace Pas, but she somehow got the feeling that now wasn't the right time. The lion looked sad, and she wanted to venture the guess that he was perhaps ashamed of himself for getting lost. She really didn't want to touch on the fact that he had gotten lost, because it was surely something that he was sore over. It seemed that Pas just got more and more depressed as time went on, and it had only started after Teh had discovered her own name.

It made her feel a little bad to have even discovered it. What if she had just kept it to herself, would they still be happy traveling companions? She could have pretended that Pas had found his name first, even! But, it felt wrong to even think of doing such a thing, and it was far too late now to go back to that day and try to fix things. All Teh could do was hope that his name was found, and soon. His depression was beginning to effect and leak over onto her, and she sometimes felt a sense of loss when it came to finding his name.

"Look, let's just settle down for today?" Desperate to cheer him up, Teh nuzzled her head against his mane and pressed up against him sweetly. "A lot has happened, and I'm kind of tired." Perhaps some cuddling would put him in a better mood, at least she hoped so.  

[mouselet]

The white lion rolled his shoulders in a shrug at the suggestion and while he didn't push Teh away, he didn't respond in kind to her affection the way he usually would. Those pale blue eyes were distant, staring at something only Pas could see.

He wasn't entirely ready to stop for the night, but he knew full well that the way he was right now, if they kept going he'd get lost again. Well, separated from Teh, which would result in his being lost.

He let loose a long sigh, allowing his legs to fold under him as he sank to the ground.

"I'm just so tired of this," he told the lioness.  

[Krysin]

Teh felt quite at a loss of what to do. She couldn't cheer him up! Even her comforting touches did little to rouse him from his depressed mood. The pale lioness was beginning to believe that nothing she could do would get Pas to cheer up. Was her company really turning out to be so worthless to him? Obviously, she was failing with Pas. She wasn't turning out to be the lioness he needed, because she couldn't get him what it was that he needed most.

She looked down to her paws and sat back on her haunches, unwilling to look at Pas as a suddenly feeling of inadequacy overwhelmed her. "I know you are," she answered softly, ears pressed flat to the back of her head. "I kind of am, too." She wasn't tired of him, or even their quest. Teh was tired of not being able to help him find his name. If she was good enough for him, she would have secured his name. Teh was desperately in love with him, but that seemed to hardly mean much when she could do nothing for him.

"I'm sorry. All this time I don't think I've been much help to you at all." She couldn't even cheer him up now.  

[mouselet]

Her touches and words were washing over him until something penetrated the fog. She...she felt the same way he did? And for most of the same reasons? He hadn't heard Teh give into the same defeatism that he'd been projecting for the past span of days. She'd always been so sure that they'd find his name, that it was only a matter of finding the right place. That set a thought niggling around his brain, but first things first. Susi'mimiteh.

He hadn't even thought once that she might be getting as depressed as he.

"No Teh...don't blame yourself," he voiced his concern for her, reaching out with his own nose to nuzzle his beloved. "It's not your fault at all, not when you've been trying so much to help."

As he repaid her affectionate touches, the thought had flitted around the edges crystalized.

"I wonder..." he breathed, "do you think that maybe it isn't a place that will help me find my name? I mean," Pas went on, some humor returning to his voice, "we both know that I never know where I am anyway."  

[Krysin]

She hadn't expected Pas to be able to draw himself out of his own somber mood. What Teh had expected was to bed down early for the night, and maybe try to start things fresh tomorrow. It wouldn't solve their problems, but she had no idea what to do besides that. She was vastly relieved and thankful when Pas reached out to nuzzle her. The lioness closed her eyes and leaned back into the contact, realizing that really all she wanted to do was be close to him and for them both to be happy. "You never know, maybe I've been leading you astray all this time." He had no luck finding his name before her, but he certainly hadn't found it now that she was with him.

Teh leaned back from him, her dark pink eyes looking back at Pas almost skeptically. He had to have a name! Every lion had a name, why shouldn't he? "Then... how do you suppose we find it? If it isn't connected to a place, where else could it be?" She hated the idea of giving in to the train of thought that he had no name out there. Teh desperately wanted to believe that his name was just around the corner, waiting for him to stumble upon it. "We'll find it, we just have to." It was her general attitude towards the situation. While she felt down and depressed over it, she still... didn't want to give up.

She wouldn't give up, because Pas needed her strength in this quest, at least.