If you knew your parents knew you were not straight,........

[noigel]

Would you come out to them?

Some time ago, my mom caught me snooping around in this guild. She asked me if there was something needed to be talked about and I tried to play it all off and was like, "No....I'm just reading it.." sweatdrop
So she went back into her room. A while later, the pager beeped on the phone. I picked it up and she told me to come into her room and that we need to talk.
My heart started pounding. "Am I gonna have to do it? I'm not ready. D:"
When I got in there she asked me if I had any concerns about sexuality and stuff. Of course I said no. And she asked me what I considered my sexuality. I obviously said no. And she said that she would always love me unconditionally and stuff and that she wants me to be up front with her. I was like yeah alright. And I walked out. "PHEW!"
Then I started thinking, "Wow she probably has no doubt about me being gay now." There have been a good enough number of.."hints" in the past about me liking boys...not to mention the fact that that father's day, our preacher preached about how boys are becoming gay out of the absence of a father in the house....
So then I was thinking, "Ugh. what the heck. I should just come out already. We both know I'm not straight.." But I still didn't want to. I'm just not ready to have that talk now.. Not to mention the drama that will most likely happen in the church. Pastors comin up to me asking for prayer and trying to "heal" me that could happen...

tl;dr: I think my mom thinks I'm gay so I think i should tell her anyway but not ready to have that talk.

So would you?  

[Wear Sunscreen]

I know when I told my mom, I got really really worked up and upset, and she was like 'I know. Want some pistachios?"
Very anti-climatic.

She's not always okay with it though. Like, she gets this tone of voice sometimes and then when I bring it up she's all "I don't understand, I'm not gay" but it feels like she's saying, "I don't understand, what's wrong with you? Why my son? Why me?"
Which sucks, but, what can I do?

That isn't helpful at all.
Just follow your gut.  

[SkyCore]

Everyone comes out when they are ready. If you aren't ready, then you're not. No one can tell you otherwise.

As for the question, well if I knew my parents already knew, I probably would have felt much easier about talking to them about it. After i came out i tried asking them if they knew and my mom said she suspected but was never sure.

my brother, on the other hand, found my porn collection on my computer 5 years earlier, and for reasons that i still don't understand, kept my secret that entire time without telling anyone, even myself...

Like you, my parents had previously told me on multiple occasions that they would not care if one of their kids turned out to be gay. It just didnt matter to them. Hell my parents had a gay friend of theirs marry them, on a boat... because apparently that was a rebellious thing to do back in the day... go figure...

but even knowing that they would accept me for me no matter what, coming out was still one of the hardest, most frightening things ive ever done. there was still that tiny voice in the back of my head telling me that they might stop loving me for being different.

and even now, slightly over a year later, every time someone new learns about my orientation there's still that tiny fear that they might react badly...

I'm still pretty new to being open so im not sure if that fear ever really goes away. but despite that I no longer hide who i am any more and that has taken a huge weight off my shoulders. I dont go advertising myself as gay, but I never lie about it if it ever comes up. Though my friends seem to enjoy pointing out to everyone that I'm the gay one... haha you guys are hilarious... oi I need some gay friends...

There are times when I wish i had come out sooner instead of wasting all that energy on trying to maintain my 'Cover'. but i came out when i was ready and thats all any of us can do.

If you think you mom is ready and you think you are ready then you should talk to her. she sounds like an accepting person so you should count yourself very lucky. I know i'm grateful that my family still accepts and supports me. there are plenty of families out there that dont react quite as well.

as for your church, well It's none of their damn business! if you tell your mom, you can also ask her to keep it just between the two of you if you want. Your church doesn't need to know. and they certainly don't need to heal you when you are NOT broken.

Anyway this has been my experience... I hope this is helpful for you. and good luck!  

[airforce_freak6678]

I am in the same position.  

[Shanna66]

i told my dad a few months ago. he acted how i expected him to and just swept it under the rug and it has never popped up into conversation again. im sure he probably had an idea that i might like the ladies with the amount of girly porn i used to look at when i was younger and before i knew how to delete internet history. not to mention when i was a teenager i asked if he would still love me if i liked girls and he told me he wouldnt be thrilled but he would never stop loving me

when i came out to my dad i ploted for ages on how to do it. i knew he wouldnt make a big deal out of it but i was still worried. all he did was ask if im still going through with my wedding to my fiance and i said of course. i think he thought i only liked girls when i came out becasue i didnt use the words bi or pan for fear of sounding like a cheap slut, i just said im attracted to women. i dont even know if he knows what a bisexual is, we NEVER talk about glbt or any serious stuff

luckily i only hade one parent to come out to, i have no idea how on earth my mother would react. i like to think of her as perfect since she died right before thattime when i started realizing that my dad wasnt perfect and had flaws, but i have no idea how she felt about glbt. i know her mother always has something nasty to say about them damn gays, but then again she has something nasty to say about all groups of people

if i was in your situation i would tell my mother  

[Mysterious Painter]

I'd have two diffrent approaches for my parents:
Mom: Hey mom Guess what I like boobs not p***s now you know why I'm so flamboyant! ^-^
Dad: Dad Umm I have something to tell you.... your not going to have grandkids from me and no I'm not infertile I'm gay
That's how It would go  

[iLegoBlock]

Im in the same position.
Im nearly 100% sure that both my parents know.
Theirs been enough hints.
Im guessing that their just waiting for me to say it.
I dont think that parents will say anything with out you starting.

Its the whole, having enough courage and self-confidence to come out.

 

[Sarah_L_Awesome]

i was in that position for a very long time. she knew when i was 6-7 (which is a coincidence because that's when i knew). anyways when i was 12 (b***h i wasn't ready) she hammered me with questions until she just went "you're gay, aren't you" and i was like "********! DON'T DISOWN ME!"  

[Taeryyn]

My mother knows I'm gay, but we've never talked about it. I've never said, "I'm gay", and I don't think she's ever verbally acknowledged the fact, but she's known I've dated guys since I was 16.

I'm fine with that. Sexuality isn't something that's really discussed in my family. She's met guys I've dated, and she doesn't treat me any differently than my siblings, so it's a non-issue.

Not all families are like mine, and I know that for some people, it's important for them to tell their families about stuff like this. *shrug* So I think it just depends on the individual.  

[noigel]

Taeryyn

My mother knows I'm gay, but we've never talked about it. I've never said, "I'm gay", and I don't think she's ever verbally acknowledged the fact, but she's known I've dated guys since I was 16.

I'm fine with that. Sexuality isn't something that's really discussed in my family. She's met guys I've dated, and she doesn't treat me any differently than my siblings, so it's a non-issue.

Not all families are like mine, and I know that for some people, it's important for them to tell their families about stuff like this. *shrug* So I think it just depends on the individual.

I wish the world was like your family. There should be no need to explain it. It should just be. Something you can shrug off and move on with.  

[bollier]

My parents don't know at all (or at least I don't think they do). If they did, I think I would tell them, but then again, I've been trying to tell them for a while, and I'm ready. My mom once told me and my sister that if either of us where gay, she'd understand, but I was about 14/15ish and unable to accept it. All I can say is good luck coming out when you decide to do so, and that it is something you should do only when your ready.  

[xKuroxBarax]

Music is Expression...

I was outed by my diary... Yes, my mom found the little bugger and of course, like most mothers, read it. Every single line.
It seemed so awful at the time, but I'm glad I don't have to keep it a secret.

...Music is Emotion

 

[Taeryyn]

TorpidoKoi

Taeryyn

My mother knows I'm gay, but we've never talked about it. I've never said, "I'm gay", and I don't think she's ever verbally acknowledged the fact, but she's known I've dated guys since I was 16.

I'm fine with that. Sexuality isn't something that's really discussed in my family. She's met guys I've dated, and she doesn't treat me any differently than my siblings, so it's a non-issue.

Not all families are like mine, and I know that for some people, it's important for them to tell their families about stuff like this. *shrug* So I think it just depends on the individual.

I wish the world was like your family. There should be no need to explain it. It should just be. Something you can shrug off and move on with.

I have no complaints about my situation with my family, but I feel I should clarify a bit. Although she hasn't said anything to me, my mother does not approve of me being gay. razz She believes it's morally wrong, and that there is something wrong with me. My father felt the same way, and was not the least bit shy about it, but he wasn't really a part of my life even before he passed away, so it wasn't really an issue.

But yes, I do wish that everyone was able to shrug it off, even if it isn't something they agree with.  

[Matasoga]

you know, feel free to say "You're neither gay or bi; you don't understand," but... It always stuck me as an act of incredible cowardice to stay in the closet after you've fully accepted that you were gay.
Now this statement doesn't apply if you have bigoted parents. In that case, I completely understand, but if you know that they'll be accepting, then it's hard to imaging what could be standing in your way.  

[DJ Arctic Wolf]

well, when i came out my dad was totally accepting. probably because my sister was always talking with him about it.

my mom....not so much. she was in denial for awhile, but then she became accepting.