[Advice Needed] Resolved.

[KillerQueen Bash]

© Robin Wood 1997

Alright, I'm Wiccan. Nothing wrong with that, is there? Well, when you go to a high school in the southeast, there can be issues. I'll sum it up for you if the following paragraph or so is too long. I've been having issues with multiple girls at school about my religion. One has threatened me and made fun of my friends. Another has bruised my leg by kicking me, and we used to be friends before she found out my religion. Now she wants me to go to her church youth group (Baptist, I think) with her so she can save my eternal soul. Her father is my grandparent's insurance man, who I've known since I was a tiny child, but I managed not to meet his daughter until high school.

Long version:

Recently I've been having trouble with a lot of girls at school. Two in particular are getting on my nerves. They mock my religion, and it really gets to me. I'm Wiccan, which is a "bad" religion to some, so it's bound to happen, whether I like it or not.
One girl is in two of my classes and began to kick my shins in the second class we're in together. I calmly asked her to stop, and she wouldn't. I asked her again, not quite as nicely, and she still wouldn't stop. Eventually she seemed to get bored and stopped. I've had problems with her before. We used to hang out a bit at lunch, until she found out that I'm Wiccan. She has told me that my 'magical powers' come from Satan and that my religion isn't real or valid. Today I asked her to apologize to me, and I showed her the bruises on my shins where she had been kicking me. She claimed not to know what I was talking about and said that she never remembered kicking me, but eventually apologized, saying that she was sorry for whatever she did. Now she is acting as if I am her best friend, and has invited me to her church youth group meeting in order to save my eternal soul. I don't want to hurt her feelings--she can be really nice and we do have quite a few interests in common--but I really don't know if I should go. I've tried the whole Christianity thing, since I was a child, and it's not for me. Her father is someone I have known for a long time, and I don't want to offend him either. What should I do?
The other girl is in only one of my classes, Health/PE. She's a very tall and 'large' sophomore with an attitude problem. A few weeks ago, she asked me if I was a witch. I told her I was Wiccan, and she asked me to levitate her bracelet--which I can't do. So I told her no, and now she seems to hold a grudge against me making her look bad in front of her friends. She's been bugging me about every other day, gathering around me with her friends and asking me to cast a spell on her. I got very tired of it very fast. Today she came into the weight room during PE while I was on the exercise bike, in the weight room alone, and she asked me if I was ever going to cast a spell for her. I simply rolled my eyes and ignored her. She got upset and said "Excuse me, did you just roll your eyes at me?". I told her that yes, I had rolled my eyes at her. She muttered something about "damn white girl" and got on one of the machines. She asked me again after being on the machine a while and chatting with her friends, to cast a spell for her. I rolled my eyes again. She asked me if I was going to reply to her. I asked her to stop mocking my religion. "Spells? That's your religion?" She laughed. I proceeded to remind her that I'm Wiccan and that she was offending me. She muttered something about "damn white girl" again and started saying things about one of my friends. I asked her what the ******** her problem was and she asked me if I knew who I was talking to. She said that she would "make me so I wouldn't wanna come to school" and "mess me up real bad" and "******** me up". I kept a cool head and said "Alright, whatever." When she left the weight room she gave me a nasty threatening look. How do I deal with her? I can keep my own in a fight, but that girl could sit on me and kill me.

All and any advice is appreciated!

© Robin Wood 1997

 

[Telutha]

First off: If you are school age, you are not Wiccan, you are some form of Eclectic Neopaganism. Wicca was founded by a man named Gerald Garner- and by definition, to be able to be Wiccan, one must be initiated into a coven in the exact manner prescribed by the founder (one G. Gardner). Wicca is, in essence, a fertility cult, therefore, those under the age of legal consent their particular region cannot, legally, be initiates in to a coven.

With that over and done with, I say you go to the authorities... or at the very least a principal or teacher. What you have on your hands is a very real threat. This person has proposed bodily harm, and if you can get witnesses in your favor you can get something done about this.

And to address something that I don't think you really want to hear: DO NOT ADVERTISE YOUR RELIGION. It's a fact of life that people are intolerant and bigoted, so do whatever you can to avoid conflict. If asked about your religion, you could very politely decline speaking of it or just say 'neo paganism' (seeing as most people high-school age don't know what that is, anyway.... at least in my part of the world). I apologize as I come off as uppity, or something like that- but I've had many a friend in the same situation as you- and they didn't handle it well. You seem like a relatively calm, mature person and I wish you nothing but the best.

Any other questions, needs for advice or such, feel free to PM me- I'd be happy to chat with you.

)O( Blessed Be ^__^

 

[KillerQueen Bash]

© Robin Wood 1997

Thank you very much. <3 I've already tried to see my favorite teacher about it, but she left school before I could get a chance to discuss it the day I could stay after. I've emailed the entire story to her several times, but the school email blocks long messages.
I don't really advertise it. I tell people my religion if they ask (I'm proud of it) and I keep a Wiccan Prayer book with me in my back pocket, but that's about it.
Thank you! <3

© Robin Wood 1997

 

[krav majo]

Rule one of Wicca - don't talk about Wicca. Rule two of Wicca - don't talk about Wicca :p

Sadly in this case the cat is out of the bag. The best you can do it try to sit down and talk to the girl and explain what Wicca is and what you can and can't do. Though by the sounds of it they're just out to have fun with you at your expense. Be careful and good luck.  

[KillerQueen Bash]

Thank you! I've tried to explain it to both of them. The one who kicked me laughed and told me that Satan gave me my 'powers', not the Goddess. The other one ignored me and walked away while I was talking to her. xP

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[dark_angel_32189]

I live in the SE too...I haven't really had a problem with it. I wear my pentacle necklace every day, but it's slightly discreet. To most people it just looks like a moon and star charm.

One of the guys my boyfriend lives with (and this shows just how ignorant some people are) was looking at it. He said, "Are you Jewish?!" I told him that the Star of David has six points, the one on my necklace has 5. Then he said, "Do you worship Satan? Do I need to hide my cats?" I said, "(A)you have 2 dogs, but not any cats. (B)You are very aware of the fact that I'm an animals right activist. (C)The star's not inverted." Then he said, "So it's just a moon and star charm." I just said, "Yeah, sure, we'll go with that." I think I had already confused him enough. lol

If it were me, I'd just ignore it. They're only bugging you because they think it bothers you. That's how a lot of people, especially teenagers are. I had a group of older kids start rumors about me when I was in 7th grade. This guy I had dated decided to tell everyone I was a slut because I WOULDN'T have sex with him. So random people I'd never even seen before would come up to me and call me a slut. I would just look at them, with a blank look on my face and say, "Yeah, and what's your point?" It lasted no more than two weeks because they realized it wasn't bothering me...I took all the fun out of it. My point is, most people will eventually get bored with it and move on.

However, if any of them are actually threatening your life, you need to talk to a trusted adult. Even if you can hold your own in a fight.  

[KillerQueen Bash]

I still haven't got an answer from my teacher yet. She probably can only check her email at school (school-provided email addresses), and it's Spring Break right now. I told my mom and she told me it was mainly my fault because I told them what my religion is. *sigh*

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[Chaos Blue]

It really IS tough in the Southeastern area, especially around what they like to call the "Bible Belt". I know how it feels to be mocked, though not for my spirituality. It's their way of telling you that they're sort of upset that you aren't like them and they're unsure of your potential. They have it ingrained in their mind that you can harm them. Which I guess is the reason for the kicking. Sort of an "I'll harm you before you harm me" kind of dealie. Maybe she was testing you to see if you could make her fly out of her seat the moment you got annoyed... Could also be jealousy because it's something extra that you know that they don't, or wouldn't care to know about. Though they are certain it's everything church teaches them.
Whatever it may be, they're always going to look at you and see you as a "sinner" and not a sentient human being. And they'll always get on your case, just on the off chance you suddenly strike lightning from your fingers or somesuch nonsense.

I would HOPE that after spring break, they'll forget. It happens, especially after long periods of time away from school, students forget things pre-vacation.

If not, and your teacher has not gotten back to you on the issue, don't stop trying to get an adult's attention. as Dark Angel said, the threats could be very real and things can begin to boil over. Please exercise prudence from here on out, especially in the Southeast, regarding your spiritual beliefs.


heart 's and blessings.


(*On a side note, Dark Angel, I had the exact same two questions, "Are you Jewish" and "...So you're a Satanist/anarchist?" It was kind of sad that they weren't able to distinguish a star of David from a pentagram.)  

[KillerQueen Bash]

Yes, indeed, I am RIGHT on the Bible Belt. I didn't think of it that way, the 'I'll harm you before you harm me' thing. My mom thinks that if I threaten them with magic, it will work to my profit. I think it will only worsen my situation. Hopefully the girl from gym will forget, but I doubt the other one will. She seems to think that I'm her best friend now. I'm very confused about her. One second she kicks me until I bruise, the next she hugs me and invites me to youth group.
I will continue emailing her. She was raised in the Southeast, but she agrees that discrimination about religion is unfair. I have talked to her before about a situation similar to this (it eventually cooled down on its own), and her reaction was nothing but sympathetic. I have not yet had a teacher remark on my beliefs, but in the Southeast, I fear that one will treat me as the students do.

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[Chaos Blue]

Yeah, the last thing you want to do is threaten them with something like magic (or anything for that matter.).
Perhaps the girl that's trying to be all friendly to you talked to an adult about it, or she thought about it, and, although she thinks YOU'RE still in the wrong for being a different religion, she thought about what she did and said "Gee, that wasn't very Christian-like. Maybe I can repent by getting her on our side."
And if any teacher starts acting funny or different to you (especially the ones that teach you- - watch your grades closely...) then I take it as a sign to talk to someone more official. Though I'm not sure taking it to court is absolutely super necessary. As a matter of fact, I suggest you talk to your guidance counselor about it, if anybody.

Though, technically, teachers and other school officials aren't supposed to be biased about religion or put religious activities in public schools (unless you are going to a private school) because of the supposed separation of church and state law, don't be surprised if you see religious overtones in a school in the southeast, because there is a LOT that they are getting away with, just because of the officials of the town believe that it's okay. What they conveniently seem to be forgetting is that there are many kids from many faiths that will feel uncomfortable with these overtones in a school. While it's true that you can practice whatever faith you want to, that's your business and it should be kept out of government or business related environments. (This is especially true in the Northeast. If you try to get people to pray or push religion on someone else, more likely than not, you'll get fired for doing so. I guess it's because the population is a lot more diverse there.)

If your school teachers treat you different on the situation, then there's something wrong. I take it as a sign to get out, but I know it's not that easy because it's. Well. School. You know? But if anything happens involving your grades or a teacher, bring your mother in. That almost always sorts things out.  

[KillerQueen Bash]

I have had issues with a teacher before, but not at this school, and not with religion. My town is what you would call 'ghetto', and this woman was very much a racist. I'm white, and she favored all of the black students that lived in the ghetto with her. We tried to get official help, but the school never got back with us. But the high school is better than the middle school, at least. I haven't had problems with teachers here yet, and I hope to get through it without any issues.
When asked in History who we would have dinner with if we could, dead or alive, about 5 people said Jesus. I said Gerald Gardener. The teacher asked who that was and I told her. She was surprised that a man founded Wicca, not a woman. I have had no problems with her; she even let me and my partner, for a world religions project, write a report on Wicca for extra credit (don't worry, my partner is my best friend and he's respectful of Wicca).

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[dark_angel_32189]

Well that's good that you're not having any issues with your new teachers. 3nodding

I wonder what you're teacher would've done if someone said they would want to have dinner with Satan. xd  

[KillerQueen Bash]

She probably would've just nodded and asked someone else. She seems to be a very devout Christian, but a tolerant one. XD

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[dark_angel_32189]

Well, at least she's tolerant. It's hard for me to resist saying something like that to people because I like to see how they react to something that's not 'normal' to them. I like to observe people (not in a creepy stalker way, more of a 'psychological I want to understand why people do certain things' way). sweatdrop  

[KillerQueen Bash]

I observe people, too. I get called a stalker for it. I really am surprised she's so tolerant. She's a nice woman, but very Southern. I guess you can't judge a book by it's cover.
We had to make an informational infomercial on the Renaissance for a project. We had a film festival with food to celebrate the films being finished. (Say THAT five times fast!) There was fried chicken, corn, Southern-style green beans, homemade macaroni and cheese, biscuits, and sweet tea. It was VERY obvious that my teacher had picked all of the foods on her own. xD

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