RP-verse: Edelsteine
Title: With or Without You
Date: Past
Designation: Solo RP
Status: Completed
Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me...
-Dante’s Prayer, Loreena McKennitt
He found himself standing in front of the two large, glass doors in the dining room. The double doors lead out onto a small balcony of sorts, the curving, wooden staircase off to the right ending directly on the sands of the beach. He knew immediately that this was a dream, perhaps not a traditional dream, but certainly not reality as most knew it; he could feel himself drawn deep into his subconscious. This was one of his gifts, talents, curses... call it whatever you like, but he could not be fooled; he always knew dreams from reality.
He was the god of them, after all.
Gazing outside, he could see the sun was setting over the water, everything turned to reds and oranges and golds. Opening one of the doors, he stepped outside and was greeted by the dull crashing of the waves, the gentle breeze bringing with it the moist, salty taste and smell of the ocean. She was down there, near the water, watching the tides and the setting sun. He could sense her, it was never hard, although it had been some time since they had met for a chat like this. Moving slowly, in his languid, graceful nature, he descended the steps and started towards the sole figure within his line of sight; her large, feathered wings splayed out behind her, arrow-tipped tail idly flicking a groove into the sand.
"
What a lovely time of day," He commented lightly as he stopped just behind her, bright eyes glinting curiously. She was sitting with her left leg in front of her, bent at the knee, left elbow resting against it. Smoke curled upwards from a lit cigarette in her hand. Her right leg was folded near her body, her right arm locked at the elbow as she leaned back slightly, her hand buried beneath the sand. As nonchalant and relaxed as she seemed, he could sense... something... in the air; a tingling, crackling tension. And yet, underneath this was a noticeable weariness, an infinite sadness, almost like...
A decision had been made. A battle lost.
"
The ocean was the only thing that ever made me feel at peace." She purred in her low, sultry voice, raising the cigarette to her full, scarlet hued lips, "
The ocean and my children, but my children are long gone. This is all that's left, the water and the sky."
He suddenly knew what this was, after all these years of sharing her body, invading her thoughts and actions, dreaming her dreams and living her life, he knew. What was happening, what the outcome was going to be. It hit him hard in his gut, like someone had kicked him, but it also caused a painful constricting in his thin chest. He hadn't expected this, was not prepared for how it made him feel.
"
Rhia, wha-" He began, but she cut him off sharply.
"
Rainbow, were you ever happy?" She turned her head towards him, intense crimson eyes scrutinizing, "
Truly happy?"
He opened his mouth for a snarky retort, always an automatic response to the loathsome nickname she had long ago bequeathed upon him. He suddenly thought twice, knowing that this encounter was different from all the others, and slowly he shut his mouth for a moment as he thought it over. Had he..? He really couldn't remember... it alarmed and disheartened him to think that he had always been this selfish, bitter, callous creature… that he had never really felt at peace or truly enjoyed being alive.
It also hurt.
He had always felt alone and unwanted, and it always left a dull, constant ache in his chest. In all his years, his ceaseless existence, across spans of millennia and planes and dimensions. But… he had done this to himself, no one could deny it. Always the antagonist, he baited and taunted and argued, always pushing away those he cared for most,
especially those he cared for most...
And really, if he were honest, there had only ever been two...
And they were gone now.
"
I was happy once, long ago." Rhia murmured, cutting into his thoughts. Either tired of waiting for him to answer, or not expecting an answer to begin with, she continued, "
My life before I regained my memories, before Vrael came for me... with my husband and my daughter, yes... I was happy then."
She exhaled smoke out through her nostrils, flicking the cigarette away into the sand even though half of it remained, "
It's over now, Rainbow, I'm done."
The nickname, hated for so many years and spoken with malice and cruelty, was now only filled with weariness, so much that he had the sudden urge to cry. It also held affection. It was shocking, to be able to hear so much in that one, single word -
Rainbow - yet it held more than any other one word he could remember hearing pass her lips. Actions left unperformed, words and discussions left unspoken, everything that was between them and things that were one-sided; all of it was in that one word.
This is goodbye.He knelt before her then, reaching forward and taking her dark, slender hands in his grasp, his own hand just as slender but much paler; the splashes of color on his skin dark smears in the shadow he cast between them. His ruby eyes gazed into her equally hued ones, both unflinching, both silent for a moment as something unspoken seemed to pass between them.
"
Is this it then?" He murmured softly, voice cracking, not breaking eye contact, "
Is this what you want, Rhiannon Everwind? Daughter, sister, mother, lover, killer. Queen of the Shadow Realm and last of the Lina'kova... will this make you happy? Is this what you truly want?"
She smiled then, a small, sad smile but
oh, how radiant a smile it still was. In that moment he understood just how brilliant a creature she was, why so many had easily fallen in love with her. How wars had been waged for her, how everything she touched brightened and everyone she met
worshipped her.
She was magnificent.
"
That's just it," She replied, equally as soft, her voice and her gaze steadier than his own. A long, soft sigh issued from her, "
I don't want anything anymore. I've lived a long, long time and seen many, many things. I've buried children and murdered lovers, I've watched as civilizations have grown out of the ground and then centuries later crumbled and returned to dust. I've lived more lifetimes than most can ever imagine, my time should have ended long ago, I…"
She trailed off and her gaze finally flicked away from his, staring out at the sea for a moment before continuing, another quiet sigh passing over her lips, "
I'm tired, just so tired. I think I would like for it all to cease. Everything. Just… stop."
His brow furrowed as he stared at her, hard, willing her to feel differently. She blinked at him and let out a low, throaty chuckle, almost like she could read his mind. It was the laugh he suddenly realized he had grown to love over the years; deep and throaty, sexy but still with an honesty and innocence that he had never heard from anyone else.
A laugh he knew he would never hear again.
"
Sweet demoness, I can give this to you. My dearest friend," He finally released her hands only to reach up and gently, reverently, cup her smooth, beautiful face in his pale hands, "
If there is one good thing I can do in this endless, wretched existence of mine, this I can give to you…" He dipped his head and their lips met.
It was not a kiss of passion, of urgency or desperation; it was a kiss of companionship, of sadness and understanding, perhaps most importantly, of comfort. He pulled away and they gazed at each other for a moment, sad smiles mirroring each other, before coming together in a tight embrace, their cheeks brushing. They stayed that way for what seemed like an eternity, bodies pressed together and arms around each other, taking in the sadness, kinship and comfort they were likely to never find again.
...Rhia… I'm afraid......thank you, Morpheus......I don't want to be alone...He opened his eyes and stared up at the stark white ceiling of Rhia's bedroom, of
his bedroom, long scarlet hair fanning out around his head like a pool of fresh blood. She did horrible things, so many horrible things countless times over. There were those that would call her evil, the devil, but she didn't deserve this... to fade away... to be nothing... in the end to simply cease to exist… Rhiannon deserved more, so much more.
And yet it was done...
Slowly sitting up, a soft, constant thrumming sound rose up through the silence and darkness. It was raining outside, the sound drowning out the gentle roar of the waves. He suddenly became aware of the tears tracking down his face, dripping from his smooth chin and plopping softly onto the sheet that covered his bare legs.
This was good. This was right. He should feel this way, she deserved to be mourned. And now he was the only one left to bear this burden, to mourn her, to mourn... everything. All of it. She had given her
life so that he could once again live, and he had taken it without giving her a single thing in return… all he had offered her was despair, eternal darkness, oblivion.
For the first time since awakening and emerging from the jewel he had been trapped within, he was truly alone. There had always been some piece of her inside him, some part of her consciousness and her soul that had been intertwined with his. But no more. Rhiannon was not with him. She was gone. Gone forever.
In the early morning darkness, the god of dreams curled into himself, color-streaked face buried in his hands, and quietly wept.
