Maybe asexual and needing relationship advice :/

[Lady Faelenn]

Word of forewarning - this is probably going to be a bit disjointed. I have no idea how to verbalize any of this.
I've never had any real interest in sex. A lot of my friends (guys and girls) have repeatedly told me that I just haven't met the right guy or had good sex before. Which is true, up until last week I was a virgin. But even so, I feel like sex is something the rest of the world cares about, and I couldn't give a damn.

As of last week, I slept with a guy from my class. We'd been out on a couple of dates before, we had just finished our last exam for the semester, and we were both a little drunk at the time I went back to his place. Things happened. As a virgin, I wasn't expecting my first time to be fantastic, but it certainly wasn't a horrible, painful experience that would make me want to swear off sex. It just didn't hold any appeal to me. Physically, it felt good, but mentally I was completely uninterested. I'm not regretting it, but I'm not planning on doing it again.

So now I need to tell him that I'm just not interested, without sounding like a giant d**k. I have never even been asked out before, so I have no idea how to handle rejecting someone. And I don't know how seriously he was taking things before this point. I don't know how much of the sex talk was just that, and how much was him actually being emotionally involved.

Side note - I have depression and have been treated for it for almost 5 years. A side effect of the medications I'm on is an emotional disconnect. This is on top of vaguely sociopathic tendencies. In my mind, people exist in relation to me for a purpose. I don't hang around people because I like them, I hang around them because they are useful to me. (This is a very blunt way of putting it - I do see people as having value aside from their use to me, I'm not a sociopath, but I don't give them as much value as a psychologically healthy individual would). I told the guy about these sociopathic tendencies of mine on our first date, but I don't think he took it seriously. I know he is more emotionally involved in the whole situation than I am, and I believe he thinks I'm more emotional than I am.

So, that was a bit of a rant. I'm in need of some advice on how to handle this. I know I need to break things off now before he gets any more serious about it, but I have no idea how he will react and I want to avoid as much drama as possible. I'm normally pretty blunt about things, but even I can tell my instinctive response of 'well, I did warn you' isn't appropriate here.
Any advice from guys on how you would take this sort of rejection, or on how best to do this without completely ruining any chance of us being comfortable with each other next year when the semester starts again?  

[LorienLlewellyn]

I would recommend being honest without being rude. If you're not interested, you're not interested. That's ok, and you're not obligated to even explain why you're not interested. But I would probably tell him that you had a nice time but that you aren't really interested in sex and don't see yourself wanting it again (And yes, it's definitely possible to know that you're not interested in sex even if you have little experience or no experience. Because it's possible to know that you're asexual before you have sex just like it's possible to know that you're gay or straight before you have sex). Are you interested in a romantic relationship with him as long as there is no sex? Or do you just want to be friends? Either way, make that clear to him too. He might react just fine. Or he might be really upset, and things might get really awkward. There's nothing that you can say that will guarantee that he will take it well, so you can't worry about it too much, you know? He'll take it however he takes it. Just do it as soon as you can; waiting will just increase the chance that he will take it poorly and that things will get awkward.  

[Lady Faelenn]

I've been told repeatedly that such conversations should be held in person. I'm out of the province now, and won't be back until September, and I don't have access to a phone I can make long distance calls on. How would you recommend I go about talking to him?  

[LorienLlewellyn]

A lot of people say those kinds of talks should happen in person. But I actually think that they're ok over email, or phone, or Skype, etc too sometimes, especially if you can't see the person often/soon and especially if you have even the smallest reason to believe that the other person might get violent (I'm not saying that you have reason to believe that this guy will get violent, I'm just saying that as a general statement). I actually like email communication. Over email, it's easier to collect your thoughts and write down everything that you want to say. So you're less likely to word something awkwardly or unclearly, and you're less likely to leave something out.

Did he know that you were going away until September and that you two wouldn't be able to talk on the phone? If so, he might have gone into it thinking it was a one time thing or something casual. So that might mean little to no drama or awkwardness.