Things the Characters Would Never Say...

[oRoseLalondeo]

James: You know, I think I fancy that girl named Narcissa.  

[XxibitexX]

Dumbledore: "After all this time?"
Snape: "Never..."  

[thatgirlwholaughsalot]

Snape: I think I want to be a Marauder.  

[vivacious_red]

Filch: Oy, you little brat, what do you think you're doing?!?!?
Gryffindor Student: I- uhhh...
Filch: Running through the corridors without throwing so much as a dungbomb?!? I ought to give you detention with Professor Flitwick for such blatant regard for your peers!
Slytherin Student (wearing a headless hat): Please Mr. Filch! Don't punish my friend, take me instead! It's my fault he didn't vandalize the school. I distracted him by asking if he needed help with our potions essay!
Filch: *Seems resistant for a moment, but then his resolve crumbles when the headless student pulls a wildfire whizzbang out of his pocket* Oh go on you two. And don't let me catch you two behaving again!
 

[Pearls of Diamonds]

IzzyTheBeazt

Severus Snape ~ I love you, Harry. eek eek eek

Made especially funny by the people who think this is possible.  

[silverclaw499]

Ron: Where's Harry? we have some business to take care of. sweatdrop  

[vivacious_red]

Snape: By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall be avenged.

Hang on, Snape totally said that after Lily was murdered... my bad.

 

[x Tiny Doom x]

Draco: I love you, Hermione!

Oh wait, that's AVPM xd  

[vivacious_red]

((personally I've always felt that everything AVPM should be considered canon. ))

Harry: Ugh! Quidditch practice again?!? But flying is so BO-ring... I'd much rather join the wizard debate team!!!

 

[EmrysStorm]

Fred: You know something George?
George: Yeah, Fred?
Fred: I don't think this is working. I'm sorry...you've been voted off the island.
George: emotion_0A0  

[AKeikoB]

Voldemort: Harry, my boy! Come hang out with me tonight; no girls just us guys! cool

 

[Cotton Kitten]

Hermione: Oooooo! I would love to be the Gryffindor Seeker. Harry? Oh, he can be the subsitute.
Harry: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[Dracontamer]

Fred: maybe we should pull that prank.  

[Trixiebelle2]

Luna: Of course mythical creatures don't exist. Idiot...  

[Tohru_luvs_catz]

Neville: You know what would be fun? Setting off a bunch of hidden wizbangers in the Great Hall all at once!

Fred: Nah, that might scare some one. There's a possiblility one might misfire and hurt someone.