Joking for Gold Contest! ☺

[Cat_oxox]

This is a bad..and dirty joke..

This girl goes up to her mom and says "Mom can I take a shower with you? It is my birthday."

The mom says "Sure,But don't look up or down"

They take a shower together and the girl looks up, she asks "Mom what are those?" The mom looks nervous and says "Those are my uh..Lamposts"

The girl looks down and asks "mom what is that?" The mom says "thats my uh Garage."


Later she goes up to her dad and asks "Dad can I take a shower with you? It is my birthday"

The dad says "Sure but don't look down"

They take a shower together and the girl looks down, she asks "Dad what is that?" He looks around nervously and says "That is my uh..Motorcycle"

Later that night she goes up to both of her parents and asks "Mom, Dad? Can I sleep with you tonight? It is my birthday."

The parents say "Sure but don't look under the covers."

When they got in bed the girl looked under the covers and asked them
"Dad why is your motorcycle parked in moms Garage?" emotion_facepalm  

[x-ohh_jennifer]

Bariana

x-ohh_jennifer

I love the last one rofl

lol..I Live in Minnesota that's why i chose it and i loved it when she fainted <3  

[nagarebosh1]

Congratulations to our first winners! 3nodding

10K: Bariana
5K: -Crankin-you up, badsnowy377

Thank you every one for trying!

Keep the jokes coming! 3nodding

 

[Animesweetgirl15]

What do you call a millionaire thats covered in mud?

Filthy rich! lol rofl blaugh whee  

[Human Desires]

Dirty;
My friends birthday is on September (09) 6. If you switch the numbers around, you'll get 69. 69 is a girl and guy, having ... itt.

Another;
Hey I just ******** you
And this is crazy
I used no condom
So here's your baby. (:

Another;
What's the diffrence between a couch and a Mexican?
A couch can support a family
*da bum tiss*  

[nagarebosh1]

Congratulations to our Winners!

10K: Animesweetgirl15

5K:-Crankin-you up

Where did everyone go? gonk sad

 

[jhake vincent]

What has a bottom on its top?

a leg!!
hahahaha xd  

[jhake vincent]

John: Dude i got the tickets for the movies!!
Peter: Dude i think we should come back tomorrow..it's already full...
John:What?? no it's not..there are still seats back there..
Peter: a sign at the door says, "PULL"..
hahahahaha... xd  

[xxtam]

A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.
A husband, "Put 'MYPENIS' " and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause on screen was error, "Error. Not long enough." biggrin  

[Human Desires]

Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But I'm a cow
So milk me maybe

Another;
You're the bus driver, 67 people go on the bus, 2 people get off, 5 more people come back on, 28 people go off, 10 more people go on, what is the bus drivers eye color?
The answer is your own eye color. All the people that get on and off just makes you get distracted that you're the bus driver. (:  

[x-melonie-x]

ok here is one A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods when they trip over a magic lamp. The genie pops out of the lamp and stops them both. He says, "I don't know who called me out so I'll give you each three wishes."



The bear and rabbit both start thinking about their wishes and the bear looks at the genie and says. "Start with my wish! I want all the bears in this forest, except me, to be Females."



The genie nods and says, "I can do that." and poof all the other bears in the forest are Females.



The rabbit says, "Me next! I want a motor scooter my size."



The genie says," Alright two more." and magics out a little white scooter.



The bear says, "If you can make all the bears in this forest female, can't you the the whole country, except for me?"



The genie says, "Yeah, I can do that." and with a nod every other bear in the country turns into a female.



The rabbit looks up and says, "I'd like a little rabbit helmet please."



"Sure!" the genie exclaims and opens his hand. with a little helmet in the middle.



The bear, getting excited says, "ALL the bears in the world except for me! can you make them ALL Female?"



"Alright, but that's your last wish." and every bear including polar bears and pandas magically turn into females.



The rabbit gets into his scooter, puts on his helmet and starts the engine. He looks at the genie and says, "I wish this bear was gay."  

[Bariana]

melonie-lafever

ok here is one A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods when they trip over a magic lamp. The genie pops out of the lamp and stops them both. He says, "I don't know who called me out so I'll give you each three wishes."



The bear and rabbit both start thinking about their wishes and the bear looks at the genie and says. "Start with my wish! I want all the bears in this forest, except me, to be Females."



The genie nods and says, "I can do that." and poof all the other bears in the forest are Females.



The rabbit says, "Me next! I want a motor scooter my size."



The genie says," Alright two more." and magics out a little white scooter.



The bear says, "If you can make all the bears in this forest female, can't you the the whole country, except for me?"



The genie says, "Yeah, I can do that." and with a nod every other bear in the country turns into a female.



The rabbit looks up and says, "I'd like a little rabbit helmet please."



"Sure!" the genie exclaims and opens his hand. with a little helmet in the middle.



The bear, getting excited says, "ALL the bears in the world except for me! can you make them ALL Female?"



"Alright, but that's your last wish." and every bear including polar bears and pandas magically turn into females.



The rabbit gets into his scooter, puts on his helmet and starts the engine. He looks at the genie and says, "I wish this bear was gay."

OMG! i almost died laughing rofl  

[Bariana]

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"