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Hows my poetry??

Amazing! 0.25 25.0% [ 1 ]
Gruesome 0.25 25.0% [ 1 ]
Way too emo 0.25 25.0% [ 1 ]
I have no clue 0.25 25.0% [ 1 ]
Idk but it sounds cool 0 0.0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes:[ 4 ]
1
Jupider Tommy's avatar

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                I understand you my emo friend
I love to see blood and water drip from my skin
 I slice crossways over my cuts with an internal grin
Scraping off the scabs after a night
Letting the alcohol drip and burn just feels right
I might let my wound heal
Or I might cut again to make sure I still feel
Cutting away the hurt that never heals
Just as long as the hurt never kills

Ps: no Im not killing myself or anything, Ive just stayed up long hours keeping friends from doing it. If you like please tip heart whee heart
Jupider Tommy's avatar

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                 Love and Pain
Love and pain are my favorite thangs
Hurt is nothing of the kind 
It makes me lose my mind
Anger makes it seem
Like I just want to scream
And weakness means Im only strengthless

Rate and if u like tip please, suggestions and such are promoted biggrin
Does rating it really help you improve your poetry? I would think that asking for feedback would be more helpful.

Also, I don't do well with rating things. What if my opinion doesn't fall into one of your options?
Jupider Tommy
NiteShadowFox
Does rating it really help you improve your poetry? I would think that asking for feedback would be more helpful.

Also, I dont do well with rating things. What if my opinion doesnt fall into one of your options?

Then write your opinion and I said suggestions are promoted as in I would like some if you want to and if you dont do well with rateing whyd you enter a thread that said rate my poetry?


Maybe she wants to help and is suggesting better ways for you to set up your thread so more people can help you. You rather less people come in the thread?

Besides, your poll seems very.... one-sided. Two of them say they're cool. One says gruesome and another says way too emo (not sure what you meant by too emo. How can a piece be too emotional? Isn't emotional good, especially for poetry?) And I'm not sure if gruesome would be a good thing or bad thing to you. The last one is "I have no clue". How would any of these answers help you improve? There's not even a 'dislike' or 'needs work' option. Just my opinion on the poll.

IThe first one's title.... again, the word 'emo' doesn't sit with me well for this since I take it with a different meaning. It means emotional and is derived from a type of punk rock (I believe?) that focused on expressive emotions. I think the word you're actually looking for is depressed or maybe masochistic (a person who enjoys hurting themselves.)

The second one, it seems like you have different perceptions for pain and hurt but you don't really go into detail as to what they are so I can't really relate to you there. The poem is titled love and pain but you only mention those two things once. Then you start talking about anger and weakness, neither of which seem to have any connection with the previous things mentioned: love, pain, and hurt. They just seem like a bunch of lines that sounded cool so you put them together. That's just my opinion, though.

I always admire people who write poetry since I have no talent for it myself. I do hope you keep practicing and writing and become better and better as you go. Good luck.

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