Its Complicated, My Thoughts

[LoveHeartlessHero]

Not really looking for feedback, just need an outlet to let things out. Feel free to give feedback if you'd like tho.


How could it be that I had lost you so
How could it be that you no longer loved me so
Was it something I had done?
Or was my best just not good enough?

Now months later & a heart break passed
We take a shot at things again
Afraid of it all I keep my heart close
Afraid of a repeat, I keep myself on check

How can I love you again
Knowing I came second
How can I love again
Knowing I was never first

I want to put a nail to it all & end
I want to give it my all & try again

Confused & afraid I lay awake at night
Happy & content I keep you by my side
Pathetic I feel
Desperate I feel

[Nocturnal Violin]

Well if you're trying to make a poem, choose words that rhyme but still connect to what you're talking about. The dictionary and thesaurus is your friend :3

[LoveHeartlessHero]

Xana42_

Well if you're trying to make a poem, choose words that rhyme but still connect to what you're talking about. The dictionary and thesaurus is your friend :3

Eh, not all poems have to rhyme.

[Kairi Nightingale]

If you just need an outlet, have you tried the Arena or Gaia Journal? You have a little more control over who sees it and most people frequenting the Arena and Journals are more prone to leaving ratings rather than comments, which seems to be more of what you're looking for.

No offense, but making a forum thread here in the Writers Forum is kind of pointless if you're not really looking for discussion or feedback. And since it's a slow forum, your topic is going to stick around for a while.

Although I am curious, why use an ampersand instead of writing out the word "and" when you spelled out all the other words and even capitalized correctly? It strikes me as inconsistent and distracting. You might as well go all out and write the word - it'll look better and read more smoothly.

[DarkSohisohi]

Nero Sanctum

Xana42_

Well if you're trying to make a poem, choose words that rhyme but still connect to what you're talking about. The dictionary and thesaurus is your friend :3

Eh, not all poems have to rhyme.

Agreed, bad poems don't have to rhyme. It was a joke.

[Nocturnal Violin]

Nero Sanctum

Xana42_

Well if you're trying to make a poem, choose words that rhyme but still connect to what you're talking about. The dictionary and thesaurus is your friend :3

Eh, not all poems have to rhyme.

That's true. It just helps to make it sound better. Some rhythm or pattern will help too.

[LoveHeartlessHero]

Kairi Nightingale

I guess this was a poor choice at the moment I decided to post here, but oh well. Found tumblr to be a good outlet shortly afterwards. I guess you can say I used the ampersand instead of writing and as a way to symbolize the roller coaster feelings. First verse with ampersand is me sad and depressed, the seconds ampersand is me happy and content.

DarkSohisohi

Xana42_

I guess you can say its a form of free verse poetry? Sorry if theres no rhyme to it. Also it may seem a bit chaotic and have no rhythm since its not really supposed to. These were my thoughts as my head was in a state of chaos and disorganized.

[bebykey05]

I'm new to Gaia do bare with me. I think as a poem there is something missing but as I read it it seems better as a song. WDYT

[LoveHeartlessHero]

bebykey05

I'm new to Gaia do bare with me. I think as a poem there is something missing but as I read it it seems better as a song. WDYT

Ha, it does sound more like a song. Now if only I knew how to compose..

[Nocturnal Violin]

Nero Sanctum

Kairi Nightingale

I guess this was a poor choice at the moment I decided to post here, but oh well. Found tumblr to be a good outlet shortly afterwards. I guess you can say I used the ampersand instead of writing and as a way to symbolize the roller coaster feelings. First verse with ampersand is me sad and depressed, the seconds ampersand is me happy and content.

DarkSohisohi

Xana42_

I guess you can say its a form of free verse poetry? Sorry if theres no rhyme to it. Also it may seem a bit chaotic and have no rhythm since its not really supposed to. These were my thoughts as my head was in a state of chaos and disorganized.

Pretty much...poetry slam? Well, if you ever want to get serious with it, you can make it sound like a spoken word thing, since free verse poems have a great ability to transform into poetry slam.
3nodding