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I've been trying to figure out if I should even post this, or talk to others about this, or even if I feel right feeling this way, but anyway let me contune to this problem.

My Boyfriend room mate (I should really say ours, since I live with him too, but this guy was living with him before I came around) Has been unemployed for months now, and I really don't think he has any desire to find a new job, all he does is sleep, eat and play computer games/ have chats online, he doesn't pay for the house, the only thing he is paying for is food since he has food stamps. Anyway, I'm tired of having him live with us when he is not doing anything, I want him out, but my Boyfriend doesn't want to left him go, since he helped him from what he was (Before my boyfriend helped him, he was homeless and had no job, since my boyfriend took him in as room mate, he was able to get a job, which he was fired from, like I said Months ago) My boyfriend believes that his Room Mate will get back on his feet soon....Yet like I said it has been Months since he had his last job....I guess the main reason why I'm writeing this, is something quite resonantly push me over the edge...I might sound crazy or rude because of it, but still...


I love going to cons, Anime and furry (yes I'm a furry) In Dec there is a con in Chicago and I've been to it before, 2 years ago with my now ex boyfriend at the time, I wasn't able to back there because of money issues, but things have change this year, I have a chance to go! And I really really want to, and I wanted to bring my Boyfriend along because he never been there, a chance for some romantic moments,stuff like that...I had it all planned out until he brought up the thing that pushed me over the edge with the Room Mate

"If we go, we have to bring him with us, if not he will get super depressed and we won't hear the last of it."

Once again, the Room Mate who dosen't have a job, has no money, that my boyfriend is expecting me to help pay that Room Mates way to the con. Mind you last year the Room Mate went to the same con, by himself not even offering me or my Boyfriend to go or said he would help pay if we go, and my Boyfriend is once again expecting me to help pay his way to a con....It broke me, and I told my Boyfriend yesterday that "Well the money I was saving for the con, we can spend it, we can go next year because I do not want to pay for the Room Mate" With that my Boyfriend said "Sorry" and the convo ended there

Funny thing is I don't feel bad, I feel upset that I really wanted to go and had it all planned, just to cancel because of the Room Mate.
And the funny thing is the Room Mate I have a feeling will somehow get other people pay his way there, or when the con comes, he's going to mope around and try to make us feel bad...

Anyway, sorry if this is all typed out crazly, but it's been in my head for a while...I would love to see others point of views on this issue, or any advice on how to handle the Room Mate, or even to say if what I said was right or wrong...Or should I still go somehow? X_X Any and all advice or comments are loved...

Short Of IT

Boy Friend's Room Mate has no job, I want him out, Boyfriend wants him to stay
Con is coming up, wanted to go, just me and my Boyfriend
BoyFriend Said we would have to bring Room Mate because he will get depressed, Yet he went last year and didn't invite us nor say he would help pay for us
I DO NOT WANT TO PAY FOR HIM! So I told Boyfriend NVM and Boyfriend look Sad
Am I crazy or not? X_X

No, right now we are living in my Boyfriend's Grandma's old house, so this house belongs to my Boyfriend and his mom....Who in which doesn't know that the RoomMate doesn't have a job...And my BoyFriend doesn't want her to know....I was so temped to tell her the other night when my BoyFriend brought up buying somethings that the RoomMate needed, and his mom questioned why My BoyFriend paid for it, and he changed the subject right away.

My god. He's an adult and needs to start acting like one. If your boyfriend wants to help this guy, give him references for professional low cost/free therapy.
There's something deeper going on with that guy.
Either way, he's not your or your boyfriends responsibility on any level.
It's terrible that you're both letting this guy ruin a personal trip.

From what he told me, he put so much hard work into the Room Mate, he took him in when he was homeless and helped get him a job, he feels like if he lets the Room Mate go that all his hard work was for nothing and that he wasted his time and he doesn't want that, he want's to see the Room Mate succeed...Which the Room Mate is not doing right now, Boyfriend says Room Mate is depressed, but after a while he will get back on his feet...How long is a while you know? Boyfriend keeps saying Room Mate will move out in a year or two, but I don't see it happening when Room Mate isn't even doing anything to help himself and find a job....There friendship from what I seen though okay...But In my opinion, Room Mate doesn't apprisate (SP) BoyFriend and he gets really angry easily..Apparently he has calmed down since I've move in, but I do see that anger time to time over a silly game or something that gets him ranting.

From what I understand from Boyfriend is that if Room Mate dosen't go he'll get depressed and that he will put off finding a job more and stuff like that, And it does strain from time, when he brings up things about the Room Mate which he dosen't like that he is doing, when I put my two sense in, he changes the subject or says it makes him feel bad that I'm saying this stuff when it's true. Like I said in a different post, I think the reason why Boy Friend is giving him so much power is because of everything he did for Room Mate, he took him off the streets pretty much and got him a job, and he feels like he is a failure if he gives up on Room Mate now, even though in my point a view I really don't think he's looking for a job..I mean at one point Boy Friend said that he should have start filling out apps for Room Mate.

You are 100% right. I do hope you can explain yourself to your boyfriend and that he will understand and resolve this issue the first time you ask. If he can't understand your reason then that makes me wonder about his personality.