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Enduring Phantom

"Friends with Benefits."
What are your thoughts or experiences?
Gender differences on the matter?

Enduring Phantom

Not Flynn
unethical


Go on.

Tipsy Kitten

I had one through high school.
I have one again right now.
I can't do relationships.

Sparkly Vampire

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Not Flynn
unethical
How so?
I would be pretty insulted if someone offered to be my friend with benefits. It's like, am I not good enough to date or something? Also, if I ended up having one I would probably end up developing feelings for them at some point.

Lavish Loiterer

Eh, it's fun up until romantic feelings get involved.
Then it's time to bail or stay depending on how you feel at the time.

Sparkly Vampire

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FWB relationships that most people think they're in are generally just a casual non-monogamous sexual partner relationships, or ******** partner relationships. They ********, but are not friends in any sense of the word.

It's hard to not catch feelings if you're a female with a male FWB and get jealous if he's ******** other girls instead of you, or dumps your FWB situation to properly date someone else.

FWB situations work best when you set no expectations with the other person, which is hard to do in practice unless they've proven how shitty of a potential SO they would be to you.

With the "right" partner/s, it's an enjoyable experience that lets you fulfill your human needs, experiment and be with hot boys you're attracted to.
The Ice Dervish
I would be pretty insulted if someone offered to be my friend with benefits. It's like, am I not good enough to date or something?
I feel exactly the same way.

The Ice Dervish
Also, if I ended up having one I would probably end up developing feelings for them at some point.
Me too.
I've considered having one a few times and I've definitely have had enough offers. I just feel like I'm too busy to give a relationship the proper amount of time it needs

Invisible Lunatic

I lost my virginity to a fwb. Not the best experience. I've had many others though and none of them have blown up in my face, so to speak. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as no one feels led on and feelings are made clear.

I've had good and bad experiences with both genders, wouldn't say I have a preference.
Don't do it. It just... no. Terrible idea.

I got into one my senior year of high school Guy I'd been really close friends with for a long time and we'd always had a lot of sexual chemistry. It was all fine and dandy for a while, and then it turned into a s**t show. It's a long story, but basically he got back with his ex, which would have been fine if he had bothered to tell me himself, but he didn't and it was just a major betrayal in our trust. Things just went downhill after that and our friendship never recovered. I finally got to the point where I thought we could at least be friendly again, though I didn't think we'd ever be best friends again, and then he cut me out of his life entirely for his now wife. I'm pretty sure he felt like he had to if he wanted a relationship with her to work because the sexual chemistry was still there... even though I'd been with my now partner for nearly a year at the time.

So yeah, I sort of have no good things to say about FWB other than that maybe it let me discover my sexuality with someone I trusted with no expectations. Maybe not all stuff ends as horrifically as mine did, but it seems like you either get together or lose a friend, there's not really an in between.

Sparkly Vampire

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freelance lover
Don't do it. It just... no. Terrible idea.

I got into one my senior year of high school Guy I'd been really close friends with for a long time and we'd always had a lot of sexual chemistry. It was all fine and dandy for a while, and then it turned into a s**t show. It's a long story, but basically he got back with his ex, which would have been fine if he had bothered to tell me himself, but he didn't and it was just a major betrayal in our trust. Things just went downhill after that and our friendship never recovered. I finally got to the point where I thought we could at least be friendly again, though I didn't think we'd ever be best friends again, and then he cut me out of his life entirely for his now wife. I'm pretty sure he felt like he had to if he wanted a relationship with her to work because the sexual chemistry was still there... even though I'd been with my now partner for nearly a year at the time.

So yeah, I sort of have no good things to say about FWB other than that maybe it let me discover my sexuality with someone I trusted with no expectations. Maybe not all stuff ends as horrifically as mine did, but it seems like you either get together or lose a friend, there's not really an in between.


Moral: don't have a FWB situation with actual friends.

Loyal Rogue

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it's actually great as long as everyone s n the same page. and I do think that with real friends it still is.

now, that said, you have to be careful. if one person develops romantic feelings, and teh other doesn't, it can get messy. and you can't always control your feelings, especially when you start letting your walls down. but it is perfectly possible to have casual sex with a friend and not end up in that sort of situation. it is entirely possible that neither of you will fall in love, or that both of you will fall in love together. the idea that it always turns out bad is a misconception.
I have been fwb with a great friend of mine on and off, for the past while. It has worked out for the both of us.
She is a really great friend of mine, we hangout often, in both groups and alone. Sometimes we will have sex with each other, some times we will not. Doesn't bother either of us.
We just laugh it off, and respect each other a whole lot. We both encourage each other to get out and meet people, and always are looking out for each other, like good friends should.

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