The sudden shift when people except you to have kids? | Page 3 | Forum

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Luna Legend

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Post: 93945097_31 created on Tue, 02 Sep 2014 19:22:31 +0000
Posted: Tue, 02 Sep 2014 19:22:31 +0000

People assume I'm going to have kids just because I'm a woman. It's annoying. And when I tell them I'm not having children, I usually get a response like "You'll change your mind someday!" No. I won't. I don't want to be pregnant, and I have no patience for kids.

lividdarkangel800

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Post: 93945097_32 created on Tue, 02 Sep 2014 20:07:56 +0000
Posted: Tue, 02 Sep 2014 20:07:56 +0000

Shark Bacon

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Right? I'm 23, not married, and people are constantly asking when me and my boyfriend are having kids. Like, what the ********? None of your business, first of all. And second, when did it become a crime to want to wait until you have the money to have kids?

People are just dumb.

this made me giggle. i am 23, happily married since i was 19. im lucky though most people already know that i hate children with a flaming passion. some of my coworkers don't get it, though most of the ones who don't get it are young girls who already have like 5 little brats. personally i think they are just jealous that my money is mine. the older ones understand though. i never see my family other than my parents and they totally understand. but yeah. when we first got married i was constantly hounded about it. some people just dont understand that others dont want their life. i am a yo9ungish girl and i hate children. why is that so hard to understand?

Right? I don't know, I love kids, but that doesn't mean I want to jump into being a parent in my early 20's. I'll hold your baby, babysit, whatever, but at the end of the day, I want to go shopping for ME, go out at 1am if I feel like it, not cone back until the sun rises, whatever. I'm 23, I've got 10+ more years before I need to worry about babies.

nicely said. i want to be a wife and live a little before i destroy my life with a brat.

MarigoldMari

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Post: 93945097_33 created on Tue, 02 Sep 2014 20:43:41 +0000
Posted: Tue, 02 Sep 2014 20:43:41 +0000

I think my parents at this point have given up hope for grandchildren. Their kids are in their twenties.

[S]ilver[R]ose

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Post: 93945097_34 created on Tue, 02 Sep 2014 21:40:53 +0000
Posted: Tue, 02 Sep 2014 21:40:53 +0000

Valebat

Right after my husband and I got married there was a switch with most of our families. Every time we see aunts and uncles or his grandma they always ask so when are the kids coming. lol We haven't been married a year yet. We want kids no doubt, but we aren't quite ready for that step. I guess people think you're getting close to the end of your prime baby making years? lol I don't really know.

Maternal Muffin

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Post: 93945097_35 created on Tue, 02 Sep 2014 22:15:34 +0000
Posted: Tue, 02 Sep 2014 22:15:34 +0000

I have a son, he just turned 5 and he was diagnosed with severe autism a couple of years ago. I got married to my husband last year (he's not my son's biological father, BUT he does have asperger's, a high functioning form of autism), and people are constantly asking when I'm having more children.

-For one, I think my plate is full enough already. I'm terrified that a newborn would push me over the edge. (Gotta love anxiety.)

-Two, I really doubt that I want to take that chance again and have another special needs child.
I'm sorry if I sound selfish, but I can't take the heartbreak again, and people just flat out don't understand that. Of course, I'm going to get some tests run to see if I share the same chromosome abnormalities as my son and how much of a risk the next baby would be in if I were to become pregnant.

I am really considering adoption, though. heart

Dustiest Gozongas

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Post: 93945097_36 created on Tue, 02 Sep 2014 22:35:43 +0000
Posted: Tue, 02 Sep 2014 22:35:43 +0000

You don't see a difference between being a teen mom and being 24/25 with a college degree and a job?

Ms Spork

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Post: 93945097_37 created on Wed, 03 Sep 2014 00:21:08 +0000
Posted: Wed, 03 Sep 2014 00:21:08 +0000

I have gotten exchange from my coworkers a few times.

"Hey, Ms.Spork, do you have kids?"

"no"

"Why not?!"

...because the idea of kids isn't appealing to me right now,
...because I'm 21 years old, working fast food, and nowhere even near done with college.

When I was dating my ex, I got a lot of "When are you going to get married?" Or sometimes even comments about the possibility of kids. Usually these remarks came from (his) friends, family, and coworkers. It got really annoying and intrusive, especially since some people would bring it up constantly.

BIJINKEI

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Post: 93945097_38 created on Wed, 03 Sep 2014 01:31:36 +0000
Posted: Wed, 03 Sep 2014 01:31:36 +0000

I was visiting family in Paraguay these past few weeks. When talking with my nona (grandma), she kept asking for a time estimate for my wedding and when her great grandchildren will be born. Same goes with nearly my entire family. In my home country it's actually pretty normal to have children during your early 20's, but I no longer live there so the fact that I'm almost 23 and still not married and bearing children is a little unusual in a sense.

The Lunatic Fringe

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Post: 93945097_40 created on Wed, 03 Sep 2014 12:00:06 +0000
Posted: Wed, 03 Sep 2014 12:00:06 +0000

I tell people that I won't be having kids. They don't believe me, though. They don't realize I like women.

My dad use to keep asking me if I had a boyfriend yet. I told him no, because I was dating a woman at the time.

My mom knows that I like women. I get the feeling she thinks that one day I'll change my mind and that this will somehow be a phase. Ha ha. Yeah right. I mean.. I like one guy.. I'm not all that interested in the rest of them.. Lucky for me. That means I can have all the sex I want without the risk of pregnancy.

LARSZIEL

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Post: 93945097_42 created on Wed, 03 Sep 2014 16:11:32 +0000
Posted: Wed, 03 Sep 2014 16:11:32 +0000

are you dyslexic

Tuah

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Post: 93945097_43 created on Wed, 03 Sep 2014 16:12:52 +0000
Posted: Wed, 03 Sep 2014 16:12:52 +0000

Gotta love being an infertile lesbian.

LilPinkCandy

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Post: 93945097_44 created on Wed, 03 Sep 2014 21:01:07 +0000
Posted: Wed, 03 Sep 2014 21:01:07 +0000

I get asked when the wedding is (not sure if we'll have an actual wedding), when we're having kids and why I'm not a free babysitting service. ... it's like wtf

DemonicOverture

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Post: 93945097_45 created on Thu, 04 Sep 2014 00:44:27 +0000
Posted: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 00:44:27 +0000

Typically, people who got married/had children young (in their early 20s) expect the same of others, because that's what THEY did, and they think that their decision turned out just fine, so you should do it too. Also, older people tend to expect this sort of thing because they want to see grandchildren and major events in the family because they're obsessing over the fact that they're going to/think they're going to be passing on soon. Basically, expecting stuff from you isn't actually about YOU at all, it's validity to someone else's life decisions or making someone else happy.

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