Welcome to Gaia! ::

Over the next few hours I will be posting all of the poetry I have made public. If you want to critique , leave a recommendation, or just comment I would greatly appreciate it. If you have any poetry of your own you would like a critique on I would love to look at it. Just send me a pm with the poem or a link.

I'll post the first poem shortly, but remember this: All of my poetry is different, so if you don't like the first poem you might enjoy the next. So please keep updated and I might be able to scrounge up something you really love!

INCREDIBLE! I LOVE IT! heart

This is a poem I wrote for an internet friend of mine. We were both battling with a deep depression at the time, and poetry was a strong bond for us. Through poetry I was able to slowly overcome my depression each time it cam back to me so a lot of my poetry will be dark like this. Later on it will get lighter and more fun though, I promise.

For a Friend

It feels like I'm drowning in mid-air.
My head feels so light,
My stomach more than tight,
And tears fall through logic without a care.

I search and scrounge for reprieve,
Hoping to be forgiven for what I have done,
Hoping to forgive to drop this burden,
Watching the sun die without sleep's relief.

These saltwater drops never cease.
Falling slow, depression's rain.
Holding tight, Depression reigns.
It causes no pleasure, creates no release.

How can I continue life,
When my lips quiver at the softest word,
My eyes drain at coos and purrs,
And any conversation leaves me like a widowed wife.

I understand you'll tell me "It'll be okay."
Shut up, stop talking,
You either listen or I'm walking.
Do you even hear the words you say?

Does it make you feel better, living in this fantasy?
Those words won't fix my depression,
So aim them in someone else's direction.
Just because you say these things doesn't mean they'll be.

You ask me what I want to hear to make it go away.
Are you that naive, that insistent?
All I want is for you to listen!
Words are what hurt me in the beginning, so please keep them at bay.

So now you know not to talk, but to read my poetry.
It might not flow, it might not rhyme,
It's probably a waste of time,
But to hear my thoughts you must read, and save me from catastrophe.

What you described is critiquing. A recommendation would be "I think this part would sound better like this." or "This would be a better title." Actually specifying something that should be changed and what it should be changed to is what I consider a recommendation. But honestly, I would be happy with either if you would be kind enough to look over what I've written. I'm always happy to try and improve my writing with the advice of others.