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hello there. im thinking of starting a manga with a few friends of mine once i learn
to draw a little better. the name is shadows.
its about a 15 year old vampire named Kai Yamamoto who lives in tokyo, japan. He's a hotshot at his school, a sad person with few friends though he doesnt enjoy being cool because more people annoy him(gets annoyed fast). his mom died at birth and no siblings. secertly his dad is a member of an unknown assassin group called S.H.A.D.O.W. whose members are talented humans and those who are not human with gifted ablities. when Kai discovers his dads true life he is ask ed to join. he declines because he's trying to be normal, but is forced to anyways.
hes very good at art, enjoys classical music, ahtes the fact of being a vampire because people think he's a monster when they find out. luckily, his few friends think that being a vampire is cool. he's good atmost sports(hates playing though), straight a student(hates work though). his vampire powers include, wings, a kanata called "kuromizu", being able to with stand great force,regeneration, for some od rreason when i thought of the character death the kidd from soul eater and kira izuru from bleach came in mind.sence his dad was living a double life behind his back he isnt at good terms with him. even though he act calm during serious times he still goes though what any person would go though in a problem.

i havent really got soild ideas for evil guys yet but im workin on it

ive been thinking of of this idea for some time now. i didnt ha pleve that much on here, but this is just a very short su. havent got much ideas for them yet
kai has yet to fully understand his powers but is slowy learningmmary of it. Please tell me what you think but dont just insult this i expect some ruddness though. but thats still helpful. please forgive for my poor typing i wrote this in a hurry

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It's good that you're planning on improving your artwork, but I think that it would also be a good idea to work on your writing as well.

I think that it's weird that you set the story in Japan and your character is an Emo. I mean...does that subculture even exist over there? sweatdrop lol, I don't know, but you might want to think about that.

Also! I think you should work on defining your character's personality a bit more. You described him as being a hotshot, as having few friends, and as being Emo, but those aren't really personality traits. What kind of person does he want to be when he grows up? Why did he reject the offer from S.H.A.D.O.W.? Is he shy? Outgoing? How does he view his father? Ask yourself lots of questions like that and just flesh out this story in general.

The idea is very typical/cliche (Boy being forced into/joining an elite secret organization) but it could potentially be interesting...if you pull it off correctly.

btw, What do the acronyms stand for?

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arrogantchild
It's good that you're planning on improving your artwork, but I think that it would also be a good idea to work on your writing as well.

I think that it's weird that you set the story in Japan and your character is an Emo. I mean...does that subculture even exist over there? sweatdrop lol, I don't know, but you might want to think about that.

Also! I think you should work on defining your character's personality a bit more. You described him as being a hotshot, as having few friends, and as being Emo, but those aren't really personality traits. What kind of person does he want to be when he grows up? Why did he reject the offer from S.H.A.D.O.W.? Is he shy? Outgoing? How does he view his father? Ask yourself lots of questions like that and just flesh out this story in general.

The idea is very typical/cliche (Boy being forced into/joining an elite secret organization) but it could potentially be interesting...if you pull it off correctly.

btw, What do the acronyms stand for?
well when i said he was emo i meant he has a sad person. very artistic, doesnt like to be bothered, hates that hes a vampire but he starts to embrace it. he isnt at good terms with his dad because hes been living a double life. he likes another teenager in the organization. theres some more info

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If his dad's human, and his mom died at birth, and the story has nothing to do with him being turned, or turning other people, why bother even having him as a vampire? Likewise setting the story in Japan; if it's not relevant to the story, get rid of it. Also, a popular emo hotshot is an oxymoron. The character himself has no personality, the way you depict him, no motives, nothing. I mean, really, what kind of living teenage boy would decline joining a secret organization of assassins? Definitely flesh this out more, and try to stay away from cliches.

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wow! very good! i think this is an awesome plotline, and you should go with it! but you've gotta make sure you can draw the characters it different positions than just standing up. also, the setting and lighting are key ingredients too. and there will be some details you might skip over when your just drawing a person standing upright, like wrinkles in body, sweat, and you'll need to learn how to draw a chibi or two for the funni parts. ^-^ i wish you luck.

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The Titanium Spork
If his dad's human, and his mom died at birth, and the story has nothing to do with him being turned, or turning other people, why bother even having him as a vampire? Likewise setting the story in Japan; if it's not relevant to the story, get rid of it. Also, a popular emo hotshot is an oxymoron. The character himself has no personality, the way you depict him, no motives, nothing. I mean, really, what kind of living teenage boy would decline joining a secret organization of assassins? Definitely flesh this out more, and try to stay away from cliches.


Quoted for the truth.

If you do insist on setting your story in Japan however, I'd highly recommend doing a little research* on the culture and its people beforehand. Both Asians and secret bloodline organizations, as a general rule, find it advantageous to start any sort of intense training while their children are young. Unless Kai's father was forced to make this decision (in other words, he'd been hoping to avoid it), I don't see why he would've waited fifteen years.

Why not start training him at ten? Or even six? Surely, the man would have found it much easier to convince and train an open-minded and limber-bodied youngster, than a young man going through some of the most emotionally- and intellectually-unstable years of his childhood.

-shrug- Just some things to think about.

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This Kai sounds like you're trying way to hard to create a "perfect character".
Hot shot at school, perfect grades, good at sports, art and music yet he doesn't want to be and prefers to be all moody and sad. Oh and he's a vampire, works for a sercret organization so coincidentally called S.H.A.D.O.W, lives in Japan, has powers that relate nothing to him being a vampire.

You are descending way too far into "neko kawaii shonen anime" territory. You've thrown on all these glamourous ideas, but none of them really correlate together. You haven't really thought of a character- rather you've taken all your favorite traits of anime characters and thrown them together in an mess.

Plus there is no plot, rather than he's "discovering his power".
And it's horrible trying to read through your spelling mistakes and improper grammar. If you are really serious about this, then you will take the time to type out a proper post. it helps and encourages others to actually give you advice.

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i tend to not support manga or comics where the author hasnt been to where they are writing about. looking up pictures is one thing, actually going and seeing the culture first hand is another
(fantasy worlds are another story. you are creating that)

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This sounds almost entirely without originality. I'd be willing to bet that if I was willing to read through old Shonen Jump phonebooks, I could find something exactly like this somewhere in the back where the filler stories go.

In short, it reminds me of the sort of characters that 15-year-old D&D players would come up with. This is not a good thing.

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I actually had to reread the first post a couple times to try and determine if this was actually a joke.

While I do agree with most of the responses, there was just a couple things I did have to point out.

First off, the question about whether emo was a valid subculture in Japan, and the comment about popular emo hotshot being an oxymoron.

That whole character type is a fairly standard manga character. You need look no further than Sasuke from Naruto, or about a third of the guys in certain shojo manga.

If you think it's weird, blame the Japanese. It's unoriginal, not really strange (for a manga). biggrin

Also, if I had a dollar for every manga I owned where a parent waited until the kid was a teenager to induct him into the secret society/awesome powers/whatever, I'd have... well, a pretty darn hefty stack of dollars.

Once again, a total manga cliche. Saying that this person came up with it because they didn't do enough research into Japan is backwards. They pretty much cut-pasted standard Japanese comic plot #14.

Oh, and to whoever commented on it being weirdly coincidental that the organization was named S.H.A.D.O.W., you need to look at more secret societies and special paramilitary organizations in fiction... they ALL have dumb acronyms. I mean, c'mon... F.E.A.R., U.N.C.L.E., P.S.I..... .... S.H.A.D.O.W. is just following in a fine tradition. <.<

I'm not defending the story as being good... it obviously needs a LOT of work... but it's not quite bad for the reasons some people seem to think it is. biggrin

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Meowhead

Oh, and to whoever commented on it being weirdly coincidental that the organization was named S.H.A.D.O.W., you need to look at more secret societies and special paramilitary organizations in fiction... they ALL have dumb acronyms. I mean, c'mon... F.E.A.R., U.N.C.L.E., P.S.I..... .... S.H.A.D.O.W. is just following in a fine tradition. <.<


It's not a fine tradition at all, it's incredibly cheesy and overused. If you name a organization of ninjas S.H.U.R.I.K.E.N, it shows that you can't come up with an original name, and think that putting periods in between each letter makes it legit.

I'm guessing S.H.A.D.O.W is not actually an acronym of the organizations name, but rather he thought Shadow sounded cool for assassins and threw in some periods.

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Meowhead
I actually had to reread the first post a couple times to try and determine if this was actually a joke.

While I do agree with most of the responses, there was just a couple things I did have to point out.

First off, the question about whether emo was a valid subculture in Japan, and the comment about popular emo hotshot being an oxymoron.

That whole character type is a fairly standard manga character. You need look no further than Sasuke from Naruto, or about a third of the guys in certain shojo manga.

If you think it's weird, blame the Japanese. It's unoriginal, not really strange (for a manga). biggrin

Also, if I had a dollar for every manga I owned where a parent waited until the kid was a teenager to induct him into the secret society/awesome powers/whatever, I'd have... well, a pretty darn hefty stack of dollars.

Once again, a total manga cliche. Saying that this person came up with it because they didn't do enough research into Japan is backwards. They pretty much cut-pasted standard Japanese comic plot #14.

Oh, and to whoever commented on it being weirdly coincidental that the organization was named S.H.A.D.O.W., you need to look at more secret societies and special paramilitary organizations in fiction... they ALL have dumb acronyms. I mean, c'mon... F.E.A.R., U.N.C.L.E., P.S.I..... .... S.H.A.D.O.W. is just following in a fine tradition. <.<

I'm not defending the story as being good... it obviously needs a LOT of work... but it's not quite bad for the reasons some people seem to think it is. biggrin

I tried to get my secret organization to be P.S.I. but it only turned out to be S.P.I. - it's why I'm not using initials, because they're not spies. xd

I agree though, it's all very generic. Granted, we all come up with pretty generic or used ideas, but holy crap. At this current time, emo vamps are kinda... overdone. And Japan? Really? I agree, you'd better be Japanese or spend a lot of time in Japan, because otherwise you're screwed.

You'd be better off making a superhero comic in New York, even though you've never actually been there, just because everybody else does it.

I would also like to know what S.H.A.D.O.W. stands for. And I wonder if it would actually be a real name for the organization, or just a backronym so you can use "SHADOW" for your organization.

IMO, stray away from whatever is popular, because you'll likely get trampled under more notable titles.

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thank you for the help. so i sould
give more detail
more original
study japan(my fist idea was france)
work on grammar

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Mister Lolligump
Meowhead

Oh, and to whoever commented on it being weirdly coincidental that the organization was named S.H.A.D.O.W., you need to look at more secret societies and special paramilitary organizations in fiction... they ALL have dumb acronyms. I mean, c'mon... F.E.A.R., U.N.C.L.E., P.S.I..... .... S.H.A.D.O.W. is just following in a fine tradition. <.<


It's not a fine tradition at all, it's incredibly cheesy and overused. If you name a organization of ninjas S.H.U.R.I.K.E.N, it shows that you can't come up with an original name, and think that putting periods in between each letter makes it legit.

I'm guessing S.H.A.D.O.W is not actually an acronym of the organizations name, but rather he thought Shadow sounded cool for assassins and threw in some periods.


I didn't argue that it wasn't cheesy and overused, I argued that there's no coincidence in it at all.

biggrin Why would it be a coincidence that he's a vampire, and the vampire hiring organization is named S.H.A.D.O.W.? I mean, they do shadowy things... in the shadows.... so it may be silly of them to name themselves that, but it's about as far from a coincidence as you can get.
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