Just a place to share and get feedback

[Moonlight Oracle]

Just using this to post some of my work.
Feel free to share your thoughts.

I have never posted my work before, so this is a big step for me. Please feel free to critique, but do not be negative or rude.

I mostly write short stories and poems, so this will contain mostly those.

Thank you all. ^^

[Moonlight Oracle]

This is a non-fiction, yet also fiction, short story/poem that I wrote with inspiration from my fiance joining the Marines. As you can see when you read, it is very sporadic, just like thoughts. I wrote this just as I was thinking, and after a bit of editing I liked all the emotion that came through in it.
I wrote my fiance a book of my short stories, and this is one of them. As I said in the first post, I have never posted any of my writings before. I am still quite uncomfortable doing so.
To anyone who has any affiliation with the United States Military, thank and God bless you.

Deployed Days

These days are dark. Bleak. Tiring, yet uneventful.
The nights are long, full of desperation. Cold.
These are the nights I cry myself to sleep. Constantly weeping.
I lay and cry, wishing you were there by my side to wipe the tears away.
I lay on my side, clutching the blankets, desperate to feel something. Any sort of emotion other than this desperation.
I don’t sleep. I can’t. I lay awake, crying and thinking.
“He’ll come home.” I say to myself.
I know you will. I do.
Semper fi.
But why? Why is it this hard?
Because you love him.
I know. I know I love him. I truly do. But Marine wives do this all the time. They know how to suck it up. I don’t. Why?
Everyone copes differently.
Cope. Coping. How do you cope? I’ve always hated that word.
I lay, my face wet from tears. What else can I do?
I’m only human.
I can’t feel. I can’t feel anything.
You just need a distraction, that’s all.
No. I don’t. Distractions are just temporary pain relievers. I need a solution.
I need you home.
Quit feeling sorry for yourself. You knew what you were getting into when he joined the Marines.
It’s a hard thing to deal with.
Suck it up.
Go ahead, cry it out.

--------

My mind will wander like this for the rest of the night. I’ll cry until daylight.
I don’t even have a child to remind me of him. Absolutely nothing to hold onto.
I have pictures on the wall. I have the memories.
He’ll come back.
Not soon enough.
I toss and turn. I hate it all.
I cry more. I have to go to work in the morning. I have to be there for my students.
I cannot find the motivation or drive to get up. What’s the point?
You have to. It will be good for you.
Good for me.
He’s good for me.
He’s my life. My heart, my soul.
My world.
My whole world.
And you’re not here.
You’re not by my side.
My world is gone.
I am gone.
I am an empty shell, waiting to be filled. Filled by you.
All this thinking is making me tired. But I continue to cry.
You’re gone. I miss you.
I wrap myself up in the blankets, simulating being held by you.
I love you. I love you so much.
Every noise excites my heart. Then I remember that you are not here.
I cry some more, nuzzling down into the blanket like I used to do to you.
Used to.
The void I am experiencing leaves me feeling empty. I am just a person. No soul. No life.
You are my life.
Where are you?
Panicking, I cry harder.
I think of you, and what you would be doing to calm me down.
“Babe, it’s okay. I’m right here.”
But you’re not here.
I am completely alone.
I’ve always been afraid of the dark.