I'm writings this from my inspiration and comtemplation

[To None Shall We Descend]

In the darkest dawn, we find eternal light.
The radiance and warmth of it is frightening.
The impulse of control so strong.
To be decided by the fate of others, one must always walk.
To determine the depth of conscious reality we risk everything.

[Tuesday Mournings]

i don't get it. sounding deep doesn't make something interesting. make it more coherent.

[Kairi Nightingale]

I'm not a big poetry person but my problem with the piece is that I'm not sure what the 'darkest dawn' is, what the light is suppose to represent, why the light would be scary to the narrator, what "impulse of control so strong" is supposed to mean (control usually isn't an impulse unless it's to control something else and the line itself is worded very oddly), or what any of it has to do with fate or reality. I also don't get a sense of what risks they're taking (or who 'they' are).

In short, I don't know what any of this is supposed to mean. I don't know if it's just a lack of context since I don't know what inspiration you were using or what you were complementing when you wrote this, but I tried rereading it a couple of times and it just sounds like a group of unrelated sentences, some of which don't make sense on their own.

I would suggest outlining what the poem is supposed to be about and then trying to connect or expand the sentences to make the subject more cohesive and coherent. If you explain what you were going for, perhaps we can give further advice or suggestions on how to fix it up.

[ille-konpito]

Hmm... well this is how i interpreted it. The futility of life, full of contradictions. Especially the last line could be seen in so many different ways. I thought it was referring to how there's different realities for different people, and they're each at different 'depths' mentally, and when we 'determine' our own depths, we risk the level we were at before because we've evolved from it.

Eh, could be seen in so many ways though, i like it, though my lecturer personally hates gaudy writing haha xD Especially sunsets and sunrises... but we won't get into that. I like how it made me think biggrin I suggest giving it a title--it'd help people understand the message you're trying to get across.

[To None Shall We Descend]

What is right '?

[Meena Reine]

Is this poem about suicide or something? Uhhhhh I feel like I'm interpreting this wrong sweatdrop

[To None Shall We Descend]

It's about learning what's acceptable as defined by our society at the cost of killing yourself. It's about how love can be so warm but all you do is try and control the other person based off lack of control in your own life.

[Quotesy]

I'm a bit lost...?