What should I do im so confused...

[Stab_A_Black_Rose]

I have no idea what's going on. I've been having this strange feeling ever since Valentine's Day. Here let me just tell you. It was Valentine's Day and I thought I was going to have an awesome night since it was V-Day you know, but that didn't go as I planned...My boyfriend's friend's were all there and it pissed me off cause he can hang out with them any day I would care if it was on his birthday or hell even my birthday but no it had to V-Day. Well after that I told him I didn't like that day cause it seemed the only thing he wanted was his friends... well sadly I was at the wrong place and the wrong time again...He got a call that his Gramother was in the hospital... I felt do guilty after that, then I started thinking about my mom...She pasted away on January the 19 and I just needed him that day, anyway. Well then last night I wanted to spend some time with him but it was great till all his friends came... like it was only 3 people at first which I dont care cause I dont care if their there but then everyone else starting coming over. So I got mad and I decided to go to the living room and watch tv, then Jon (my boyfriend) walks in and says "Hey babe, Im gonna go to Beachlers to get something, is that ok?". Sadly, Im the kind of person that doesnt speak my mind cause im scared of hurting others so I lied. I said back to him "Yeah, no worries its fine." I smiled lightly then he gave me a kiss. But it wasnt ok I was sssooo furious! But I couldnt say anything... Then he came back and I was tired of his friends and I started feeling really bad pains on my stomach and I was just sick of everything. Then David (his friend) HAD to bring "Rock Band" Over and I thought I was going to scream! He ran in the and starting ripping and putting things together... I felt so lonely but still no I didnt say anything. I finally got the urge to get up and go in there with him but I didnt sit on the bed I sat on the floor next to the door waiting for someone to notice me. Jon looked at me and smiled, I didnt smile back. He made a sad face and tilted his head, I just sat there with a straight face feeling the sickness inside me building, I swear I was about to throw up. Finally her came and sat by me and tried to make me feel better, nothing at the point could make me happy. I got on the bed and still he watched them playing that ******** game. So I turned to the side, he put his arms around me and was asking whats wrong, I had nothing to say so I just sad "Nothing", even though it really was something.But I felt guilty cause he almost starting crying cause I just sat there with my eye's closed, so I wrapped my arms around him and sat there but then David asked if he wanted to sing and he said "Sure" and gave me a kiss on the cheek and thats about that all that happened. Then I went home and fell asleep trying to forget that day even happened. I woke up hoping I would see a call from Jon but I didnt... I waited and waited for his call till then he finally got on Myspace. Not as great as I thought but oh well. He sent me a message and I was asking him if me and him could go to the movies. He said "Yeah sure why not!" I was happy but then he called me saying no good movies were out and that him and his mom were just gonna rent some movies and we could watch them. How fun... not so much... Well we watched it, but that was the only thing interesting about this whole day... I really feel bad about saying that I think the only person he wants at times is his friends... But Its true but I will tell you this I will never break up with him for that reason but I need help badly every night I cry myself to sleep cause I want a relationship like everyone elses but I dont think I ever will... Please, help me... Im about to cry....

[Unforgiven Destiny]

Well one of my old girlfriends used to make me feel neglected, but when we talked it out it fixed everything, if you keep lying to him like this about that out of fear that you will hurt his feelings your relationship will never go anywhere, you need to establish that communication and trust with him and when you think your relationship is hurting you like this, you need to establish a way to communicate, if not your relationship is going to die.

[Unforgiven Destiny]

Also if he gets mad at you over you trying to communicate with him and you trying to spend quality time with him, you really don't need him. Because a relationship is about trust, and communication, if you don't have that, what do you really have?

[Stab_A_Black_Rose]

True, but thats the thing. Everytime I try to I cant cause Im just not that kind of person... I love him so much and I dont want anything to happened its just his friends there getting in the way and the last time I tried to talk to him about it he told me his friends were the only thing he had, I understand that but he has me now...

[Unforgiven Destiny]

Well, you need to assert yourself on this, I understand that this may not be your personality, but you need to get him alone sometime and tell him that You two need to spend more time together and communicate, you need to have time for eachother, not just you two and 50 of his friends. Also you need to ask yourself if he truly is the one that you are supposed to spend your whole life with, remember that there are always other fish in the sea, it just takes patience to find the right one.

[Love_Struck_3]

Hi, I think you're really over reacting a little bit to much. My boyfriend and I always try to get time away from each other with our friends or family.... it gives us a break from each other and to just have fun and be ourselves without the other... I know sounds a little bit weird. I think from what I just read that he really cares about you. You should try expressing your feelings more but in a kind way even if it's harsh. If you can't do that then there might be some trouble later in your rela with him. Maybe you should bring this up to him... have a lil heart to heart about it. Until you figure out what to do don't worry as much as you have been; you're only going to make it worse for yourself. I worry a lot 2... it's just in my nature. I hope everything worx out! biggrin

[Stab_A_Black_Rose]

Yes you guys are right but I love spending time with him but Im not really spending time with you know? I know that I need to tell him that but we can never be alone cause his mom doesnt trust us... I really love him and I dont care that there's other fish int he sea I got him and im cooking him for dinner! (sorry that made me laugh) but anyway hes just the only one I can trust right now since my mom pasted away and my dad's been busy with work... I think im just stressing out of the most of it I dont know how to explain how im feeling....

[Stab_A_Black_Rose]

Sorry people my dads making me get off but I really wanna talk about this more so send me a pm ASAP! Good Night and thank you for helping me...

[Love_Struck_3]

Well one thing I forgot to mension... sorry to hear about your mom... *cry* anyway maybe you should talk to him on the phone... yeah it seems kinda harsh but at least your getting your feelings out and it dosen't make you nervous or anything maybe that would do something you know? I totally understand where you're coming from

[Unforgiven Destiny]

I am out of ideas right now since I am tired all i can say is.. try your hardest to keep this relationship alfloat. Try to communicate.