wedding woes

[xshellabellax]

So in about 51 Days I will be getting married, exciting time yes I know, however, the other day i recived a message from my "maid of honor" as such:

Hey girlie,

How is everything coming so far for the wedding?
I have a question/favor. Please, don't hate me for asking. Julie* isn't going to be able to do the Fall ceremony and her parents are boycotting the whole wedding idea. Would you hate me forever if I missed your reception to fly to Washington for her wedding. No one else is going to be there for her, except maybe Ashely* (but she doesn't want to fly down alone).

Hope all is going well!
Taylor*

*Names have been changed


Discuss how you would feel in this situation. Would you upset or understanding?

[Kade Harknen]

take it with an oh well attitude.

[xshellabellax]

Smiles Everyone

take it with an oh well attitude.

How am I supposed to do that when she's been my best friends since I was like 5?

[Akiko ChangO]

If she's really your maid of honor then she really should be there for the reception. What's the situation? it's not really clear form your oost.

[xshellabellax]

My wedding reception is the same day that my best friend's (Taylor) friend's (julie) wedding, she is just doing a justice of the peace before her fiancee is deployed. Now they have been friends for alil over 5 years, while Taylor and I have been friends since we were like 5 years old, I also have been engaged for over a year and her lil over 6 months. Well anyway they are getting married before he deploys and were planning on having the big wedding in the fall when he comes home, now she can't do that nad my maid of honor wants to skip out on my reception that she has helped on to go there.

Is it wrong of me to be pissed off?

[PiercedPixie2]

Dude, you have 51 days - you can just use a relative or friend you don't like so much.
Its not like its next Tuesday. Then you could fly to Washington and kill them all.

[xshellabellax]

PiercedPixie2

Dude, you have 51 days - you can just use a relative or friend you don't like so much.
Its not like its next Tuesday. Then you could fly to Washington and kill them all.

Most people pick someone close to them for something like this, and shes my best friend...and I have no releatives to be my maid of honor, for one im an only child and for two, my relatives are old and married...

[xshellabellax]

Miico69

heart heart

If you don't have anything helpful to say, please stop trolling my post...Thank you very much.

[Docile Tchotchke]

Does your other friend have to get married in Washington? If not, you could just combine the weddings into one, big, happy double-ringed ceremony! That way, you both get married on the day you picked, and your friend can be there for both weddings.

If she's just getting married by a Justice of the Peace, then she probably didn't have to book the ceremony months ahead, and might be okay with switching the setting of her wedding.

[Rhianna]

That's a bit tough.

I can understand being annoyed from the fact that you two have been friend's longer and your wedding has been planned out a lot longer in advance. She probably shouldn't break it off for a last minute thing for someone else, that is a bit rude because it's not easy to replace a MoH. Especially if it's a large wedding and means getting someone else sized for a dress or whatever, that's expensive and time consuming.

At the same time, I wouldn't say it's a friendship breaker. Your husband (so far as you've stated) isn't being deployed whereas this other woman's is and this is likely the only time she can get married to him before that happens. It sounds like she tried to plan it another time (fall?) and it didn't work out. It sucks that it's overlapping with yours but maybe you can understand why your friend is feeling torn as well? For her, either way, she's hurting one of her best friends and you have to be sensitive to that. Your wedding is the most important to you, not to everyone else. They're just trying to do the best they can and be the best friend, so if she decides that she needs to be there for her friend, sometimes you just have to shrug it off and be understand of that.

[xshellabellax]

Docile Tchotchke

Does your other friend have to get married in Washington? If not, you could just combine the weddings into one, big, happy double-ringed ceremony! That way, you both get married on the day you picked, and your friend can be there for both weddings.

If she's just getting married by a Justice of the Peace, then she probably didn't have to book the ceremony months ahead, and might be okay with switching the setting of her wedding.

Yea she does, she stationed down there for the army or w/e and her fiancee is being deployed shortly after, and our wedding is a bit weird anyway, my fiance and I are also doing jsutice of the peace June 6 (friday) and our reception is June 7, the day after, because of the venue we were having the reception at asked us to be there by 10 am, so we were making it an all day affair, but we also were doing pictures that day as well because the venue is outside and a perfect place to have pictures at.

[xshellabellax]

Rhianna

That's a bit tough.

I can understand being annoyed from the fact that you two have been friend's longer and your wedding has been planned out a lot longer in advance. She probably shouldn't break it off for a last minute thing for someone else, that is a bit rude because it's not easy to replace a MoH. Especially if it's a large wedding and means getting someone else sized for a dress or whatever, that's expensive and time consuming.

At the same time, I wouldn't say it's a friendship breaker. Your husband (so far as you've stated) isn't being deployed whereas this other woman's is and this is likely the only time she can get married to him before that happens. It sounds like she tried to plan it another time (fall?) and it didn't work out. It sucks that it's overlapping with yours but maybe you can understand why your friend is feeling torn as well? For her, either way, she's hurting one of her best friends and you have to be sensitive to that. Your wedding is the most important to you, not to everyone else. They're just trying to do the best they can and be the best friend, so if she decides that she needs to be there for her friend, sometimes you just have to shrug it off and be understand of that.

I understand where's she coming from, it just makes me super pissed off and the way I interrperted it made it sound like "oh well you can't get angry because I said so" (we have an on going thing to where she can get bitchy but I can't...long story) and like she expected me not to be pissed off, honestly though how do you not get pissed off?