reckon Im losin it

[Silly Annie]

s kinda embarrasin to talk about but
like I get confused a lot now

it was bad enough wi my memory problems but like
in the last week maybe I been really confused most days
like sometimes I can get an hour where Im thinkin properly clear an I can remember stuff
but most times its all like foggy an thinkin is hard an stayin on an idea gets all wobbly

an every time I get this clear head I remember this one thought right
I remembered first day I told the nurse that Im gettin confused an she told me yea thats gonna happen
like they ******** know that Im losin it
like it was meant to happen

so now everytime I can think clear I jus think like
s**t Im havin my mind like cleared out

dude I forgot about my lunch in the middle of eatin it couple days back
I noticed it but like
I was eatin a thing
proably rice puddin theres been a lot of porridges an puddings
jus eatin it
then snap my mind goes blank
an Im like
oh s**t its lunchtime! wheres my lunch!
bams right there infronta me

******** nurse spotted it too like she was straight up on me like
whats wrong
you ok?

if I aint mad about it Im sad
like I dont wanna be like the people who been here too long
wanderin around someone pullin on they arm jus tellin em what to do

like its even in the paintin class that I been doin here
painted the same ******** bowl of fruit twice now

least theres the science lessons those are cool
tellin us bout planets an stars an galaxies an such
bout physics out in space an how stuff goes way fast an is all super massive out there like
s nice to think about

iunno I wanted to tell someone who wasnt gonna be all like
yea thats nice

I actually wanted to say somethin specific
or ask somethin

yea!
Anyone got like
any secret technikes to like
stay focused an not get confused?
I think its the medications idunno
they mighta done somethin different to it

[Nurse Kipsie]

Silly Annie

s kinda embarrasin to talk about but
like I get confused a lot now

dude I forgot about my lunch in the middle of eatin it couple days back
I noticed it but like
I was eatin a thing
proably rice puddin theres been a lot of porridges an puddings
jus eatin it
then snap my mind goes blank
an Im like
oh s**t its lunchtime! wheres my lunch!
bams right there infronta me

rofl
I'm the same way. Adult and childhood ADHD is what i've lived with for years.
I normally must write things down on my arms or have my bf remind me.

[Silly Annie]

Nurse Kipsie

Silly Annie

s kinda embarrasin to talk about but
like I get confused a lot now

dude I forgot about my lunch in the middle of eatin it couple days back
I noticed it but like
I was eatin a thing
proably rice puddin theres been a lot of porridges an puddings
jus eatin it
then snap my mind goes blank
an Im like
oh s**t its lunchtime! wheres my lunch!
bams right there infronta me

rofl
I'm the same way. Adult and childhood ADHD is what i've lived with for years.
I normally must write things down on my arms or have my bf remind me.

yea
weird thing is though is like
second time round I wasnt really hungry
like Id ate half of it an then forget bout
I notice its there again but I dont want it no more
o -o

whas that

[Artan Zuill]

"Maybe it's a tumor."

[Silly Annie]

Neo-Selvatico

"Maybe it's a tumor."

how dyou get that though
cause I aint been allowed to do much of anythin

[Artan Zuill]

Silly Annie

Neo-Selvatico

"Maybe it's a tumor."

how dyou get that though
cause I aint been allowed to do much of anythin

I was hoping for someone to recognize the quote and finish the dialog...As for what's causing these lapses in memory...I don't have the foggiest idea.

[RyaZombie]

It sounds like they're drugging you. Do you know what they're giving you?

[Silly Annie]

RyaZombie

It sounds like they're drugging you. Do you know what they're giving you?

far as I know its still clozapine
o -o

been told aint sposed to take nothin else wi it cause it dont mix well
s like the drug version of a loner
hah

[Silly Annie]

Neo-Selvatico

Silly Annie

Neo-Selvatico

"Maybe it's a tumor."

how dyou get that though
cause I aint been allowed to do much of anythin

I was hoping for someone to recognize the quote and finish the dialog...As for what's causing these lapses in memory...I don't have the foggiest idea.

Ive had the memory problems for ages now

cause they had to do some electrical stuff to make me not be suicidal which I dont remember ever bein suicidal but whatever it aint like I forget stuff forever
s jus I cant remember nothin bout yesterday an theres always gaps in memories but like
its the confusion

like Im aight now but I get confused real easy most days an I figured Id try an talk bout it now while I aint so confused

[RyaZombie]

Silly Annie

RyaZombie

It sounds like they're drugging you. Do you know what they're giving you?

far as I know its still clozapine
o -o

been told aint sposed to take nothin else wi it cause it dont mix well
s like the drug version of a loner
hah

I googled it. That's a really messed up drug. Are they doing blood tests on your regularly? According to wikipedia there are a lot of side effects and it's kind of a last resort drug for people who don't respond to other types of antipsychotic medication

[Silly Annie]

RyaZombie

Silly Annie

RyaZombie

It sounds like they're drugging you. Do you know what they're giving you?

far as I know its still clozapine
o -o

been told aint sposed to take nothin else wi it cause it dont mix well
s like the drug version of a loner
hah

I googled it. That's a really messed up drug. Are they doing blood tests on your regularly? According to wikipedia there are a lot of side effects and it's kind of a last resort drug for people who don't respond to other types of antipsychotic medication

yea every week

use to be real bad cause I was so scared of needles like I kept gettin paranoid thinkin it was gonna be heroin again an I was like ******** no I aint goin back

but I aint scared of em no more so thas good

[Artan Zuill]

Silly Annie

Neo-Selvatico

Silly Annie

Neo-Selvatico

"Maybe it's a tumor."

how dyou get that though
cause I aint been allowed to do much of anythin

I was hoping for someone to recognize the quote and finish the dialog...As for what's causing these lapses in memory...I don't have the foggiest idea.

Ive had the memory problems for ages now

cause they had to do some electrical stuff to make me not be suicidal which I dont remember ever bein suicidal but whatever it aint like I forget stuff forever
s jus I cant remember nothin bout yesterday an theres always gaps in memories but like
its the confusion

like Im aight now but I get confused real easy most days an I figured Id try an talk bout it now while I aint so confused

Wait...electrical stuff? You mean as in electroshock therapy?

[Silly Annie]

Neo-Selvatico

Silly Annie

Neo-Selvatico

Silly Annie

Neo-Selvatico

"Maybe it's a tumor."

how dyou get that though
cause I aint been allowed to do much of anythin

I was hoping for someone to recognize the quote and finish the dialog...As for what's causing these lapses in memory...I don't have the foggiest idea.

Ive had the memory problems for ages now

cause they had to do some electrical stuff to make me not be suicidal which I dont remember ever bein suicidal but whatever it aint like I forget stuff forever
s jus I cant remember nothin bout yesterday an theres always gaps in memories but like
its the confusion

like Im aight now but I get confused real easy most days an I figured Id try an talk bout it now while I aint so confused

Wait...electrical stuff? You mean as in electroshock therapy?

yea that
only got done once far as I remember though
but that was at a different place they dont do it here
people say its illegal but some places still do it I think

lotta people here have had it

[Artan Zuill]

Silly Annie

Neo-Selvatico

Silly Annie

Neo-Selvatico

Silly Annie

Neo-Selvatico

"Maybe it's a tumor."

how dyou get that though
cause I aint been allowed to do much of anythin

I was hoping for someone to recognize the quote and finish the dialog...As for what's causing these lapses in memory...I don't have the foggiest idea.

Ive had the memory problems for ages now

cause they had to do some electrical stuff to make me not be suicidal which I dont remember ever bein suicidal but whatever it aint like I forget stuff forever
s jus I cant remember nothin bout yesterday an theres always gaps in memories but like
its the confusion

like Im aight now but I get confused real easy most days an I figured Id try an talk bout it now while I aint so confused

Wait...electrical stuff? You mean as in electroshock therapy?

yea that
only got done once far as I remember though
but that was at a different place they dont do it here
people say its illegal but some places still do it I think

lotta people here have had it

Yeah...electroshock is from the days when you didn't want to deal with people so you fried their brains and they ended up a lot like what you're experiencing.

[Silly Annie]

Neo-Selvatico

Silly Annie

Neo-Selvatico

Silly Annie

Neo-Selvatico

I was hoping for someone to recognize the quote and finish the dialog...As for what's causing these lapses in memory...I don't have the foggiest idea.

Ive had the memory problems for ages now

cause they had to do some electrical stuff to make me not be suicidal which I dont remember ever bein suicidal but whatever it aint like I forget stuff forever
s jus I cant remember nothin bout yesterday an theres always gaps in memories but like
its the confusion

like Im aight now but I get confused real easy most days an I figured Id try an talk bout it now while I aint so confused

Wait...electrical stuff? You mean as in electroshock therapy?

yea that
only got done once far as I remember though
but that was at a different place they dont do it here
people say its illegal but some places still do it I think

lotta people here have had it

Yeah...electroshock is from the days when you didn't want to deal with people so you fried their brains and they ended up a lot like what you're experiencing.

well yea but
that was ages ago

how comes Im only gettin confused in the last week