My Friend has a Jerk Bf

What should she do?

Work things out	5.1%	[ 4 ]
Dump his a**	55.7%	[ 44 ]
I'm not sure....	12.7%	[ 10 ]
She doesn't desevere that	26.6%	[ 21 ]
Total Votes:			[ 79 ]

[veelaprincess]

Yeah, so my friend is dated this jerk. Shes always sad, and crying. But she really wants things to work out for them. But me and two other friends that I know of don't want to be around him.What can I do to help her without just flat out saying, "Dump his a**"

[Desiree_Visage]

Similar situation~

We talked with her about it and she said she'd think about what we said.

Otherwise, at least for me, I just won't hang around him.

She doesn't cry and stuff about him though, at least not to me, so I don't know what to do there, sorry....

I guess the best you could do is either let her realize in time, or bring forth your position. Maybe she just doesn't fully comprehend her situation.

[veggechick]

What I think is that you need to really talk to your friend. You need to tell her that no matter what, you're there for her. Also tell her that she need to think about if this guy is really worth it and she needs to think about if she could be happier without him. But yeah, I would be saying "Dump his a**" in my head the entire time too.

[veelaprincess]

Thanks.
I see the affects on her. I live with her. So it affects me too. She's like my little sister. I can't stand her being so upset and sad all the time.

As far as not hanging around the jerk, I try. But he always wants to come over. So I just go in a different part of the house....it's very frusterating.

[veelaprincess]

Does anyone else have any advice for me and my friend?

[Latrans]

You can't make her relationship choices for her, even if you know you're right. She probably has some reason for doing what she's doing, and even if she doesn't, she has to come around eventually. All you can do is be there for her, support her, and help her to make the right choice if she asks for your advice. Otherwise, let her know how you feel as few times as you can, and ignore it.

[veelaprincess]

Alot of people are voting, but not saying anything....

[Edwit]

All of our friends do.
All you can do is wait around for her to figure it out, while egging her on.

[veelaprincess]

Edwit

All of our friends do.
All you can do is wait around for her to figure it out, while egging her on.

Thanks. Those of you that have left messages. It's helped a lot.

[Screaming Wombat]

Just flat out tell her that, and you may quote me on this one to further validate your point as it's coming from a man, that no man would ever make the one he loves cry with the intent to do so, at least not without making a heartfelt apology afterwards, and that if we don't say anything about your tears it's likely because we're completely unaware.
Even if we didn't make the tears in the first place, we'll damn well try our best to make them go away if we really love someone.

Has her boyfriend honestly lived up to these expectations? If she's crying, does he know about it? What has he done to fix things? Ask her these questions, be upfront about it, but try to be more concerning than angry or else they'll get the wrong idea, try your best not to make it sound like their fault.

If that doesn't work, then I guess all you can do is wait for them to figure things out by themselves. After I bullheadedly stood by this one girl who I asserted was wonderful despite the many wonderful friends who said it'd all go to hell, I finally figured things out the hard way, and got over it.
I especially got over it after her ex dated her for a while, then dumped her, kinda feels like karma got my back there.

[veelaprincess]

thanks. but i have talked to her. and i've made it clear that it's not her fault.

and he knows that she cries, and thinks that he's done nothing wrong. and doesn't apoligize.

but i will take what you said and try to put it to use

[GaijinGuy36]

veelaprincess

Alot of people are voting, but not saying anything....

I think the votes say it all.

[Avamp]

It's her business and her problem and as much as it sucks, you have to accept it

[feistypink]

From what it sounds like she needs to lose him!!!
No one deserves that s**t!
There are PLENTY of other guys out there. =] =] =]
heart Annie =]

[Vidtani]

veelaprincess

Yeah, so my friend is dated this jerk. Shes always sad, and crying. But she really wants things to work out for them. But me and two other friends that I know of don't want to be around him.What can I do to help her without just flat out saying, "Dump his a**"

to me there is no other way then to JUST SAY IT. sad this can be really hard if this is a close friend i know ... i have done this.

i used to beat around the bush but from now on ... i think that the best way is to be frank and let her know that his drama is to much of a burden and it is unfair for her to let that drama get into your life. 3nodding

things can be worked out sometimes but if this guy is unwilling to at least make an effort then she needs to let him know she has no time for that BS cause she can go get a GOOD person ... nothing is stoppin her from being happy with him ... BUT HIM!