kidlets
I've come across a lot of young girls and older boys going out with each other. For instance, yesterday there was a picture on facebook of one of my friends and her boyfriend together in the picture, my friend being 14 and the boy being 17 or 18. I don't know if they're having intercourse or not, but unless her parents have a problem with it or if they're making out in front of a police station it doesn't seem like people are going to make a big deal about it because it's a very small town. I'm not saying it's okay, or condemning these types of relationships but what do you think is going on here? In the picture, they look very happy together, but I can't tell if he actually loves her or if he's using her for sex.
Of course, everyone who has seen this picture has said to me that he's just "looking for an easy piece of a**", but I don't know if that's really the case or not. I mean, she really loves him but I don't want her to get hurt.
How do you feel about age differences in relationships such as this?
Do you think he is just using her?
Let's say you were 14, would you date someone 3-4 years older than you?
Have you been involved in a relationship where your partner was older than you? If so, by how many years and how old were you at the time?
Discuss how you feel about this.
Edit: People here sure like them 14 year olds. emotion_awesome
*coughs at a relationship another one of my friends has been involved in where the guy was in his twenties*
The age difference you used as an example isn't a big deal to me. A friend of mine dated a girl 5 years younger than him, and though it was particularly weird in the first few years, as she got older, it was less disturbing. She left him and wound up with a guy more than ten years older than her. That was far more disturbing. I believe my friend did love her, but I know there was quite a bit of "trophy girlfriend" going on for him, as well. She put him through hell, and in turn, he became particularly-
possessive of her. I do not excuse his behaviour however, no matter how justified his insecurities were (she cheated on him a few times).
As to your friend's relationship, it's not possible for anyone here to give you a factual answer. We can theorize that he is using her/actually loves her, but we cannot give you a solid answer. It's possible he's using her, but it is also just as likely that he does love her. If the relationship occurred (or is still in effect) with your friend at the age of eighteen, you probably wouldn't take notice of it as much. That's the thing about 3-4 year age differences; in your early teens, it seems like a big deal. Once you reach a certain age, it makes no difference. My mom and my step-dad are separated by thirteen years. In some ways, I do find it a tad weird, but I've been around it since I was six, so I've had time to adjust to things of this nature. Regardless of what anyone's opinions are however, the only opinions that matter involve the couple. Everyone on the outside can have their opinions, but without being in the same situation, they cannot truly understand the reasoning behind it.
I honestly can't say whether I would have dated someone 3-4 years older than me at the age of fourteen. I think it really would have depended on the guy.
Other than that, I have only dated people the same age as me, to a year older than me.