I'm a guy. Just wanted this understood from the start
So I've been close friends with this girl for a few years now, and after a while I began to love her. After a while, she got a boyfriend. Naturally, I was depressed for a while, but I decided to tell her anyway. I figured that things might be better if I let it be open, since the knowledge that I loved her and she loved someone else was eating away at me. I reasoned that maybe she could sympathize with me if she knew, maybe she'd try not to be so intimate around me(they had a very open relationship, and weren't shy to kiss or hug around their friends) since it hurt my heart. She didn't answer. After a while her boyfriend had to move away, and she started getting intimate with me. I was blinded in a mist of joy right then, since it seemed to me that she loved me back. I had loved two people at once before, it was a tough choice to make. Maybe she'd done the same. But I kinda got this notion that she didn't really love me. It seemed like she hadn't really loved the first guy either. The air around her is intoxicating, a kiss from her feels like an angel's feather passing through me. When I'm depressed, her very presence makes me feel like everything is going to be ok.
But I don't think she feels the same. She seems so non-chalont about it, and I often feel neglected. I almost feel that this is because I'm a shy man, I don't like to get intimate around other people. I don't have that urge to scream out my love to the world. I have nothing to prove to those people, only to her. I realize that we're just teenagers. I am very intelligent and mature. My mind is quite stable, and the hormonal urges of puberty are starting to fade. I may be ready for a serious relationship, but maybe she isn't.
So what do you think? Does she love me for who I am, or does she love me for WHAT I am? Am I a lover to her, Or am I just an able bodied male?