Friend's Code of Honor

[Delpheus]

I just had a discussion with someone who called me "archaic and backwards" because I said it was impolite of him to date his friend's ex-girlfriend, and this led to a discussion on the friend's code of honor.

After trying to explain it to him, he came to the conclusion it was a bunch of BS and wanted to see some written rules. I did a quick search and found only 2 links remotely close to what I was looking for. Unfortunately, IT WAS IN TXT SPEAK. Certainly not something I want to use for a discussion of such importance.

With that said, Gaia, will you help me put together a more up-to-date "Friend's Code of Honor"?

I know that you absolutely do NOT date your friend's ex, unless your friend specifically says "Hey, you can date so and so." It's also not allowed to ask your friend for permission either. What else is there?

[Aoi no Panda]

I believe there is a wait period if you were to wish to go out with your ex's friend. Because your ex might have a lot of friends, doesn't mean you can't go out with them. I also believe you shouldn't have to have your ex's permission to go out with whomever you want. Of course, this is just my opinion.

[Delpheus]

True, you probably shouldn't wait for their permission, but you can't just go after them immediately afterward.

Also, I agree with you when it comes to that time thing. But what's a good idea for the time? It varies from person to person. Personally, I'd wait a couple years before even trying to get my friend's ex (assuming I hadn't found someone else or what have you.)

[electric_boots_betty83]

To tell you the truth dude, there is no real code of honor for friends. Sure, there are things that most people believe that you should and should not do, but that doesn't make it into a code. People see a good friend in different ways. Some people might see somebody that is real nice to you and very respective of your opinion as a good friend, while other people think that a friend is somebody you can just meet and have a laugh or two, and some people might see a friend that does both of these things. As to your problem, I can understand why your friend is mad, it does kinda look like you betrayed you buddy, but if you like the girl, then your buddy should be able to accept that even though he hates her guts maybe.

[Manakou007]

i think the friends code of honor is kinda pointless because its literaly a law where u would have to follow your friends rule. if you followed that rule you would really get nowhere, you should be able to do what you want but also know what is from from a common sense

[Ivan Isaacss]

I'd say his conclusion on it being archaic backwards bullshit was... well... correct.

[Lebiram]

Bros before hoe's
(unless its a serious relationship)
Don't backstab
Don't use the friend card to get out of personal issues
NEVER (even if your drunk) Touch Slap kiss your friends GF
Respect family

[miss romanian]

People can date who they want..
I'm dating my friends ex but then again she broke up with him.
But still.

[Ellyn]

things like this are called UNWRITTEN rules for a reason.

[Delpheus]

Jeez, and I thought it was just one person who had no honor.

Course, I'm resorting to an online forum, so I shouldn't be surprised. rolleyes

Come on, how would ya'll like it if your friend started dating your ex-girlfriend barely a couple days after you broke up? You'd think she was a whore and he was just out to get you.

[xXSweet-PopzXx]

i think those rules are unwritten for a reason.
everyone has different morals and beliefs, so it's not right (in my opinion) to actually sit down and write out what your friend can and can't do.

keep it unwritten.

[livingfairie]

Keep the rules unwritten they work better that way otherwise, you'll be constantly changing the rules in certain situations...

[Nitemare Nymphetamine]

Hmm.. I think it's funny if my friends would date any of my ex's, and I did have a friend that dated my ex-girlfriend. There's a reason I dump these people... many people I haver dated have been very awful people, so I suppose it would be my friend's loss to date them.

I don't really know about the friend code. The only thing I can promise is not to break a promise. Ever. I never make a promise I can't keep it, even if it's a simple thing like, 'hey, promise me you'll write me a letter after your homework,' or something.That's not just a friend thing though, it's my own moral.

Maybe you could put... you never hit on your friend's significant other?

[Kaitos Wolfhaart]

The only time I would actually go out with a friends ex is if they get along. If there's any tension between them I will never put a friend through that. It's just something I don't do. It's probably not a clever way to look at things but at least I'm loyal. And in my little world that means more than anything else.

[autumnletters]

I think it's kind of per situation....I've dated friends ex's, and vice versa. Bros before hoes, but in my friends case we don't stop being friends just because of who we want to date. Unless they specifically say not to date a person, because they were together so long, still not over that person, still in love, etc. It all depends. Common sense too. neutral

If I had just broken up with my bf/gf, and my best friend started dating them knowing how I felt then obviously that person IS NOT my friend.