What's wrong with me?

[Starlurk]

So for starters, I see a therapist and psychiatrist regularly so please don't say "go see a doctor". I just need some space to complain about a problem and I'd like to hear some new voices and new ideas for my problem.

Yesterday I was so productive. I woke up at 4:30 after 3 hours of sleep and couldn't go back to sleep. So I started on homework. I did homework for roughly 6 hours before going to class. I went to class, had my teacher explain everything I didn't understand. Then I got up in front of my class and told them what my topic was COHERENTLY. I came home STAYED AWAKE and did MORE homework.

Today I woke up at 6 am after roughly 6 hours of sleep, decided to let myself sleep in for 2 more hours. Skipped class, cancelled on my client, and am having trouble starting on my homework.

I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I had such hope yesterday and today I just hate myself.

I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD and I know those problems all contributed to my crash today but I feel so discouraged. I'm currently being treated for all three and the medication has helped a LOT but I don't know, I've been so worthless today.

[bronxbigred]

dont give up
it will get better
I have some of the same problems
stay strong and try to stay positive
if u want to talk I am here for you

[Starlurk]

Thank you very much smile I'm feeling a little better but I'll totally message you sometime if I need to smile You are a blessing for wanting to help people.

[Fiona Lenet]

The lack of routine in your sleep cycle is undoubtedly directly attributed to your lack of stability in your stress and feelings. While this is likely no surprise and you've likely guessed the need to regain some means of balance in your life so you won't be kept up with restless thoughts that keep clinging to you so you can't put your mind to rest.

Always expect there to be highs and lows and days that you feel completely worthless. Not to discourage you but they're common. My guess is that half of your unease is directly connected to the lack of control you have over your life. It'd be in your best interest just to accept that you may not always get a reliable and steady stream of good days. Half of the issues with mental illnesses is feeling uncomfortable in that you're different and somehow "not normal."

Normalcy is a fallacy and a subjective means of standardizing behavior to placate people into not standing out and differentiating themselves from the person next to them.

Sure, mental illnesses shouldn't be glamorized but feeling so tortured for having them that you can't sleep certainly isn't helping you either. Accepting that you're doing the best that you can with the hand you've been dealt with give you the hugest piece of mind that any therapist or medication can provide to ease your restlessness.

[Starlurk]

BlackRoseoftheSea

Its amazing how ******** up your sleep schedule can cause all the dominos to fall and trigger worse problems with mental illness.

Are these short bursts of sleep normal? Have you ever mentioned these sleeping habits to a doctor/your shrink?

It's only normal when I go to bed around 10pm without taking a sleep medication first. It's very frustrating. I can go to bed at 3 in the morning and sleep like a baby with no problem but if I go to bed at 10pm I wake up at roughly 2am and can't go back to sleep. I have morning classes so I can't just wait and go to bed at 3am either, you know?

My psychiatrist said we'll wait and see if I need something stronger than over-the-counter medication and my therapist's attitude on it is pretty much "Just keep trying", which isn't always helpful but you know how it goes.

I thought I'd be okay without the medication last night because I'd been up all day after only 3 hours of sleep but it was still close to 1am before I fell asleep.

Do you really think this is just a result of my sleep being thrown off?

[Starlurk]

BlackRoseoftheSea

Starlurk

BlackRoseoftheSea

Its amazing how ******** up your sleep schedule can cause all the dominos to fall and trigger worse problems with mental illness.

Are these short bursts of sleep normal? Have you ever mentioned these sleeping habits to a doctor/your shrink?

It's only normal when I go to bed around 10pm without taking a sleep medication first. It's very frustrating. I can go to bed at 3 in the morning and sleep like a baby with no problem but if I go to bed at 10pm I wake up at roughly 2am and can't go back to sleep. I have morning classes so I can't just wait and go to bed at 3am either, you know?

My psychiatrist said we'll wait and see if I need something stronger than over-the-counter medication and my therapist's attitude on it is pretty much "Just keep trying", which isn't always helpful but you know how it goes.

I thought I'd be okay without the medication last night because I'd been up all day after only 3 hours of sleep but it was still close to 1am before I fell asleep.

Do you really think this is just a result of my sleep being thrown off?

Unless short sleeping is normal for you (like you have slept short since childhood) or runs in your family, I would say yes. I know if I don't sleep 8 hours, I get super ******** depressed (like today, I slept waaay too much) or if I don't sleep enough I get super manic. Play around with hours of sleep. See what your bodies deems "okay" - its unique to everyone.

Honestly I usually need closer to 10 hours of sleep :