Welcome to Gaia! ::

Palekids's avatar

Aged Noob

6,050 Points
  • Happy Birthday! 100
  • First step to fame 200
  • Treasure Hunter 100
freya micah
Palekids
freya micah
If you really love the girl who you're with now, why would you yearn for someone else?

Yearning for the idea of someone else that better suits me. I'm pretty sure everything has these thoughts


I think you're right... but isn't that being selfish?

We, as humans, are naturally selfish.
freya micah's avatar

Beloved Citizen

8,150 Points
  • Partygoer 500
  • Forum Sophomore 300
  • Signature Look 250
Palekids
freya micah
Palekids
freya micah
If you really love the girl who you're with now, why would you yearn for someone else?

Yearning for the idea of someone else that better suits me. I'm pretty sure everything has these thoughts


I think you're right... but isn't that being selfish?

We, as humans, are naturally selfish.


But love is not selfish...
F a y t h - x's avatar

Shadowy Scarface

You sound a lot like my boyfriend. The two of you need to talk about this, because if you're thinking those thoughts then things aren't as good as you seem to think they are, and in a way it's almost like emotionally cheating on your significant other. You're not totally invested in the relationship.

Like I said, the two of you need to sit down and talk seriously about this.
Palekids's avatar

Aged Noob

6,050 Points
  • Happy Birthday! 100
  • First step to fame 200
  • Treasure Hunter 100
F a y t h - x
You sound a lot like my boyfriend. The two of you need to talk about this, because if you're thinking those thoughts then things aren't as good as you seem to think they are, and in a way it's almost like emotionally cheating on your significant other. You're not totally invested in the relationship.

Like I said, the two of you need to sit down and talk seriously about this.

In due time
Infinite Damnation's avatar

Invisible Seeker

9,050 Points
  • Invisibility 100
  • Object of Affection 150
  • Tipsy 100
You've already taken "breaks" in this relationship. I don't know, but to me that doesn't sound like it's a very "happy" relationship. If it was going that well I don't think "breaks" would be necessary. If you're doubting it, there's no harm in maybe taking a step back and not being involved in a relationship at all. Even if your girlfriend isn't doing anything wrong, you're not doing anything wrong, etc, doesn't mean you have to stay in the relationship just because there's no arguments or whatever. Don't settle just because. If you're really that curious, don't waste time by staying in this relationship. It's up to you to decide how you really feel, how much this relationship really means to you.
Palekids's avatar

Aged Noob

6,050 Points
  • Happy Birthday! 100
  • First step to fame 200
  • Treasure Hunter 100
Infinite Damnation
You've already taken "breaks" in this relationship. I don't know, but to me that doesn't sound like it's a very "happy" relationship. If it was going that well I don't think "breaks" would be necessary. If you're doubting it, there's no harm in maybe taking a step back and not being involved in a relationship at all. Even if your girlfriend isn't doing anything wrong, you're not doing anything wrong, etc, doesn't mean you have to stay in the relationship just because there's no arguments or whatever. Don't settle just because. If you're really that curious, don't waste time by staying in this relationship. It's up to you to decide how you really feel, how much this relationship really means to you.

Well I called it a break but really we broke up and during that time we couldn't stop talking to each other or seeing one another. So eventually we got back together and here we are now. The whole issue is completely me, not her but kinda hard to explain that to someone that loves you so much. Its a bit of cliche when you hear "its not you, its me" kind of ordeal. Things are fine when we're together so its hard to tell that I have a problem. Just somewhere in the back of my head tells me to do it but I know in my gut its a bad idea to ruin something that we're invested so much time and effort into it. I just feel that there could be someone more suited, but in the end doesn't that make me a bad person to mess things up over that? I'm just not sure how to explain it all.
Bitterrfly's avatar

Princess Sweetheart

Palekids
Here is my problem, I've been dating this person for a little over a two years now and everything has been fairly good aside from a few breaks here and there but nothing to traumatizing to our relationship. For the past month or so I've been thinking about a lot and most of it dealing with the idea of someone out there that would be better suited for me. Now you may get the wrong impression and assume something is wrong within our relationship but to be honest things are fine, we're happy. Is it weird to think about things like this? How could I be happy and yet yearn for someone else (no one specific)? My past relationships have always been with people I liked but never really had a lot in common with each other but focused heavily on the things we did. The person I'm seeing now on the other hand has yielded the most potential as far as interests but on the other side they like my interests and not passionate about them as I am. I know that may be asking much but don't you all think that you shouldn't have to settle for anyone less than perfect if you plan to be with them? By saying that wouldn't it be wrong to "stay" with someone versus "being" with someone? I'm rambling, sorry. Give me feedback and please don't hold back. I want full honesty here.


Dear OP,

I think you have a simple case of falling out of love here. Just because things are good in the relationship and they haven't done anything wrong and you haven't done anything wrong, does not mean you have to stay with this person. It seems very clear to me that you have in fact stopped feeling for this person and I strongly suggest that you end it before those feelings start to show in your behaviour towards the person you are with.

Remember OP, leaving someone because you don't like them is a perfectly valid reason. Good luck.
Palekids's avatar

Aged Noob

6,050 Points
  • Happy Birthday! 100
  • First step to fame 200
  • Treasure Hunter 100
Bitterrfly
Palekids
Here is my problem, I've been dating this person for a little over a two years now and everything has been fairly good aside from a few breaks here and there but nothing to traumatizing to our relationship. For the past month or so I've been thinking about a lot and most of it dealing with the idea of someone out there that would be better suited for me. Now you may get the wrong impression and assume something is wrong within our relationship but to be honest things are fine, we're happy. Is it weird to think about things like this? How could I be happy and yet yearn for someone else (no one specific)? My past relationships have always been with people I liked but never really had a lot in common with each other but focused heavily on the things we did. The person I'm seeing now on the other hand has yielded the most potential as far as interests but on the other side they like my interests and not passionate about them as I am. I know that may be asking much but don't you all think that you shouldn't have to settle for anyone less than perfect if you plan to be with them? By saying that wouldn't it be wrong to "stay" with someone versus "being" with someone? I'm rambling, sorry. Give me feedback and please don't hold back. I want full honesty here.


Dear OP,

I think you have a simple case of falling out of love here. Just because things are good in the relationship and they haven't done anything wrong and you haven't done anything wrong, does not mean you have to stay with this person. It seems very clear to me that you have in fact stopped feeling for this person and I strongly suggest that you end it before those feelings start to show in your behaviour towards the person you are with.

Remember OP, leaving someone because you don't like them is a perfectly valid reason. Good luck.


Thank you!

Quick Reply

Submit
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games