DrawingFlowersx
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- Posted: Thu, 10 Jul 2014 07:55:05 +0000
Hello everybody! I was hoping for some advice on a matter than I really can't decide anything on.
So, my problem is that I want to try to reconnect with an old friend from high school. We used to be best friends and hung out all the time. We were in the marching band, so we got to spend a lot of time together outside of school.
This was all when we were Freshmen and Sophomores in high school. In our Freshman year, he was dating one of my close gal pals off and on, and at first, they used me as a mediator of sorts. They would both ask me for advice on their relationship issues and all that.
Through this, he and I became really close. He would come looking for me after school and hang out with me in the mornings and afternoons before and after school. He would call me almost every day to talk for hours. We would message each other on myspace (that should tell you how long ago this was! myspace was still a thing!) all the time, and he even had me as his number 2 friend on his friend's list on there. (number one being his best guy friend.)
Edit He continued to be my friend even after they broke up for the last time.
We confided in each other, and I trusted him with anything. I loved him as a best friend like how I love my best girl friend. Naturally, everybody in our grade assumed that he and I were dating or doing it. My friend even had random girls come up to her in class to ask if he and I were dating. (she would say "no" of course.)
But in our Sophomore year, sometime in February or March, he stopped talking to me out of nowhere. We hadn't had any fights, and I thought that everything was okay. I tried calling him every day and messaging him asking what was wrong. Once he responded to one of my messages with a "Aren't you mad?" or something along those lines. That hurt.
But the weird thing was that he would still wave back at me in the halls. This has always puzzled me too because if you're not speaking to somebody, why wave back? (Was he setting boundaries??) Apparently there were rumors going around, and maybe some of them got back to him. Or maybe his guy friends were bugging him about being friends with me? I don't know, and I've never gotten an answer.
I was going through a tough time during that period, and him leaving me just made it 10 times worse. (I remember him going through tough things too at that time)
So after like 5 years of not talking, I add him on fb out of the blue because he kept appearing in my recommended people list thing. And he accepted.
And now I'm struggling with what to do. Should I try talking to him? My friend thinks I should be casual about it and not even bring up what happened. (let him bring it up) I'm so so so afraid of what he is like now. I only have like one person's perspective and what I've seen on fb. And one of those sources says he's a jackass now. But I see things on his fb that remind me of how he used to be. Like status updates and interests. I know that he has his own life now, and I have mine. But it really hurts when a best friend dumps you, especially when you don't get an explanation or anything. I'm so confused...well there you have it. Any advice would be wonderful!
So, my problem is that I want to try to reconnect with an old friend from high school. We used to be best friends and hung out all the time. We were in the marching band, so we got to spend a lot of time together outside of school.
This was all when we were Freshmen and Sophomores in high school. In our Freshman year, he was dating one of my close gal pals off and on, and at first, they used me as a mediator of sorts. They would both ask me for advice on their relationship issues and all that.
Through this, he and I became really close. He would come looking for me after school and hang out with me in the mornings and afternoons before and after school. He would call me almost every day to talk for hours. We would message each other on myspace (that should tell you how long ago this was! myspace was still a thing!) all the time, and he even had me as his number 2 friend on his friend's list on there. (number one being his best guy friend.)
Edit He continued to be my friend even after they broke up for the last time.
We confided in each other, and I trusted him with anything. I loved him as a best friend like how I love my best girl friend. Naturally, everybody in our grade assumed that he and I were dating or doing it. My friend even had random girls come up to her in class to ask if he and I were dating. (she would say "no" of course.)
But in our Sophomore year, sometime in February or March, he stopped talking to me out of nowhere. We hadn't had any fights, and I thought that everything was okay. I tried calling him every day and messaging him asking what was wrong. Once he responded to one of my messages with a "Aren't you mad?" or something along those lines. That hurt.
But the weird thing was that he would still wave back at me in the halls. This has always puzzled me too because if you're not speaking to somebody, why wave back? (Was he setting boundaries??) Apparently there were rumors going around, and maybe some of them got back to him. Or maybe his guy friends were bugging him about being friends with me? I don't know, and I've never gotten an answer.
I was going through a tough time during that period, and him leaving me just made it 10 times worse. (I remember him going through tough things too at that time)
So after like 5 years of not talking, I add him on fb out of the blue because he kept appearing in my recommended people list thing. And he accepted.
And now I'm struggling with what to do. Should I try talking to him? My friend thinks I should be casual about it and not even bring up what happened. (let him bring it up) I'm so so so afraid of what he is like now. I only have like one person's perspective and what I've seen on fb. And one of those sources says he's a jackass now. But I see things on his fb that remind me of how he used to be. Like status updates and interests. I know that he has his own life now, and I have mine. But it really hurts when a best friend dumps you, especially when you don't get an explanation or anything. I'm so confused...well there you have it. Any advice would be wonderful!
