Issues with a friend

[DaphHime]

Long story short: I have a huge crush on this one guy friend of mine. Over the year we got really close. Though when it comes to starting anything more than friendship, he has rejected me countless times. He says I "came on too strong".

Now he has a girlfriend, and it doesn't seem like it will end any time soon. I still have feelings for him and I feel myself growing very distant from him. I haven't talked to him, in RL or on AIM for a long time now. I'm kind of afrade that he doesn't even want to be friends with me anymore. I really don't want to give up on the friendship, he's such a nice guy. But I'm also afrade to hang out with him again because he might have his girlfriend with him, and I don't want to start anything or go into a huge breakdown.

What scares me is that I don't even know this girl. I don't want to see him hurt, he's pretty senstive, like me. I hardly know anything about this girl or how she treats him (seems pretty well by the looks of it though). This is all so random and not like him at all.

I'm also afrade I'll never see him again. I'm going to college in the fall and he's going to be a senior in high school next year. I rearely get to see him as it is (we go to different schools). Even though I'm going to a local college, I'm afrade I still won't get to see him very often.

I just don't know what to make of this situation. I want to go on with the friendship but I can't put my feelings aside. And the girlfriend is making it even harder.

Some advice whould be really nice right now. Sorry about the length. sweatdrop

Thanks.

[IggyBork]

Don't sweat the length. It just means you have a lot on your mind and have a lot to say. ^^

Your best bet is to start talking with him on AIM. Ask him how he's doing. Even, since you don't know his girlfriend, ask him what she's like. One thing I've learned is that when you actually care (or ask questions to SEEM like you care), people open up a LOT. And they tell you life stories, which is good too. Sometimes, it just needs a kick and a question. Like, "y'know what? i really want to be your friend." If someone told me that, I'd be a pretty happy person. ^^

[MoroMaru]

If he's as important a friend to you as you say he is, then try to repair the friendship. It may be awkward at first because you confessed your feelings but, since he has a girlfriend now, you'll have to put the romantic feelings on hold in order to regain the friendship. Don't let it wait, however. There were some friends of mine I left high school on good terms with and now I never see some of them...one of them has even passed away (my graduating class seems rather unlucky). The main point is a friendship that important is not something to just let slip away. You may need to take things slowly but that's better than losing a friend.

[DaphHime]

I don't know if I want to ask him about his girlfriend just yet. I'm still a little hurt from the rejection. I think that hearing all these wonderful things about her will make me feel worse.

But I defenitly want to talk to him. Maybe not tonight. I'm not sure. I don't think I'm quite ready yet.

Thanks.