I'm really lost

[Serpent Detergent]

I'm going to try to make this short. Typical high school problems, I guess. Please don't put this in chatterbox.
All my high school life I never really had many friends. I was always really quiet and the "weird" one. I was bullied and all that fun stuff. This post is going to be about my junior year, because it affected me the most and the worst.
I was put in a make-up type school because I was falling behind a few credits. There were only 100 students in the entire school, it was brand new and the teachers were extremely happy-go-lucky. I have major social anxiety, I get nervous and I'm quiet and just "odd". The majority of the kids that attended the school were all the "ghetto" type who didn't care about school or life and smoked weed in the bathrooms and popped pills in the back of the class. I don't know.. I just couldn't find one person to be friends with and I got really lonely. A lot of the kids there were people who used to bully me when I was at my previous school as well. I was really lonely, and on top of my loneliness they verbally abused me every day(Calling me a freak.. loser.. weird.. other.. and also trying to trip me and purposely bump into me then laughing really loudly when i did (which was pretty childish of them 0.o).. I kept my mouth shut all the time because I didn't want to get into trouble..And the one time I did tell a teacher they said "Ohh it's no big deal!"
To sum it all up,bitchy teenage girls bullying the weird kid because they thought it was funny and had nothing else to do with their spare time. It all affected me a lot because I have emotional problems and depression.
During Christmas break I refused to go back to school and stayed home for a month and a half and was finally put into an online school. Now, for the past 6 or so months I've had pretty much no contact with anyone besides my boyfriend, my family and people I've met online.
I've been isolating myself and running away from my problems for so long, I really don't know who I am anymore or what I want. I'm just so lost and I'm always so sad, no one even notices I'm sad anymore because it's so normal...So just please, LI, help me out. How can I find myself? How can I stop resenting every human being I see when I go outside?

[Grizzly l3ear]

Saintess Aione

I'm going to try to make this short. Typical high school problems, I guess. Please don't put this in chatterbox.
All my high school life I never really had many friends. I was always really quiet and the "weird" one. I was bullied and all that fun stuff. This post is going to be about my junior year, because it affected me the most and the worst.
I was put in a make-up type school because I was falling behind a few credits. There were only 100 students in the entire school, it was brand new and the teachers were extremely happy-go-lucky. I have major social anxiety, I get nervous and I'm quiet and just "odd". The majority of the kids that attended the school were all the "ghetto" type who didn't care about school or life and smoked weed in the bathrooms and popped pills in the back of the class. I don't know.. I just couldn't find one person to be friends with and I got really lonely. A lot of the kids there were people who used to bully me when I was at my previous school as well. I was really lonely, and on top of my loneliness they verbally abused me every day(Calling me a freak.. loser.. weird.. other.. and also trying to trip me and purposely bump into me then laughing really loudly when i did (which was pretty childish of them 0.o).. I kept my mouth shut all the time because I didn't want to get into trouble..And the one time I did tell a teacher they said "Ohh it's no big deal!"
To sum it all up,bitchy teenage girls bullying the weird kid because they thought it was funny and had nothing else to do with their spare time. It all affected me a lot because I have emotional problems and depression.
During Christmas break I refused to go back to school and stayed home for a month and a half and was finally put into an online school. Now, for the past 6 or so months I've had pretty much no contact with anyone besides my boyfriend, my family and people I've met online.
I've been isolating myself and running away from my problems for so long, I really don't know who I am anymore or what I want. I'm just so lost and I'm always so sad, no one even notices I'm sad anymore because it's so normal...So just please, LI, help me out. How can I find myself? How can I stop resenting every human being I see when I go outside?

~ I will try my best to help you ~
Hi. I am Cayden. I can kind of relate to you. I am much younger but still had some of the same problems. The loneliness eating you inside I have had that too. When you log off to do something but log on a minute later because you have no one. I am going into my freshmen year. All my life I have had ' Friends " But never a true friend. I talk with them a few times then just leave it at that. But Last year I met a kid who is now, my best friend. Before I was quite and Very shy. Now Im loudish and like to go meet new people. That sounds like what you might need. But they won't always be there. They might leave you and go somewhere else. But you Only need one hand to drag you out of the pit. He helped me find out who I am without destroying my old past. Its a hard road up the mountain but once you reach the top you can see the world and easily go to the other side. Try to find someone to help you climb that mountain. To show you a easier way. But in order to do that you Need to go out. And stay for a little. Hang out with people you like, In this case your boyfriend, and normally there friends are like them. Then they have friends and so on. This worked with me atleast. Im sorry I am not very helpful. But before you can fix yourself you must try. Go and see the world. Even if it hits you rise back of like a phoenix from its ashes.

Sorry. I hoped I kinda sorta a little helped sweatdrop