Didn't say yes or no

[pink_mist]

I find it appalling that some users are saying 'Giving a guy a BJ = Consent for sex'.
No. NO. BJ's are different from vaginal penetration. I agree that it's a sexual act but that doesn't mean she wanted him to vaginally penetrate her as well. It's up to OP whether or not she was up for it in the end. And from the way she is describing the situation, it doesn't sound like she wanted that to happen.

Personally, I think you need to get tested for STI's and speak to a rape counsellor at this point. They're more equipped to deal with this than any of us here.
You should also consider a pregnancy test as well.
And for the future, I wouldn't get drunk around any of those guys anymore. Who knows if one of them will try to take advantage of you again.

[this rainbow lover]

highelf40000

From the sounds of the story, both were "blind drunk". Also, bare in mind she came onto him (referring to the first guy, second guy sure ill give you that one). Dont get me wrong, Im not saying anything about integrity here. Having sex with someone who is flat out drunk isnt high on the morality list. But honestly, I cannot find a way to place fault on someone who was physically escalated on and who was given no resistance whatsoever in what seems a natural progression. Nothing was forced.

A blow job does NOT equal consent for him to stick his d**k in here. Ever. There is no 'natural course' when it comes to sex. If a person is black out drunk, despite the fact that they were attempting to give you oral, you should not have sex with them because that is rape. End of story.

Quote:

Jail for that is a massive over reaction. Its absolutely crazy that you would think that guy one, who was escalated on! Deserves jail for following what she started. If there was any indication of drugging, force, not accepting refusal or anything, sure. I would agree. And while I dont find this guy to have the best integrity, I refuse to find him blame worthy. Yeah she might not have wanted to have sex with him but people take risks that THEY themselves will act unusually and do things they dont want to do in truth. Its part and parcel of the game of drinking.

It doesn't matter what she did because she did not consent to having sex with him, verbal or other wise. She barely remembers what happened, let alone if she consented to it. He took advantage of her, and from the sounds of it, they got her drunk so they could do these things to her. That is mostly up to interpretation, but they don't sound all too sorry for what happened. There is no 'game of drinking' in this case. She doesn't remember most of the s**t that went on.

Quote:

All genders have to be careful of these risks. Getting blind drunk gives you a risk of doing regretful stuff. Drunk people might be violent and start fights that their sober self would never do. Get drunk and your inhibitions lower. Its common knowledge. You have to be aware of that. You cant always pin the blame on someone else. You making a mistake cannot always be someone elses fault.

She had never been drunk before. She didn't know how she would act, and she wasn't with people she really trusted. She put herself in a bad situation, but they acted no better. If they were actual friends, they would have cut her off and taken her home or even just let her crash on one of their couches. But no. They continued to allow her to drink, knowing how drunk and ******** up she was, and took advantage of her wasted state.

[highelf40000]

this rainbow lover

highelf40000

From the sounds of the story, both were "blind drunk". Also, bare in mind she came onto him (referring to the first guy, second guy sure ill give you that one). Dont get me wrong, Im not saying anything about integrity here. Having sex with someone who is flat out drunk isnt high on the morality list. But honestly, I cannot find a way to place fault on someone who was physically escalated on and who was given no resistance whatsoever in what seems a natural progression. Nothing was forced.

A blow job does NOT equal consent for him to stick his d**k in here. Ever. There is no 'natural course' when it comes to sex. If a person is black out drunk, despite the fact that they were attempting to give you oral, you should not have sex with them because that is rape. End of story.

Quote:

Jail for that is a massive over reaction. Its absolutely crazy that you would think that guy one, who was escalated on! Deserves jail for following what she started. If there was any indication of drugging, force, not accepting refusal or anything, sure. I would agree. And while I dont find this guy to have the best integrity, I refuse to find him blame worthy. Yeah she might not have wanted to have sex with him but people take risks that THEY themselves will act unusually and do things they dont want to do in truth. Its part and parcel of the game of drinking.

It doesn't matter what she did because she did not consent to having sex with him, verbal or other wise. She barely remembers what happened, let alone if she consented to it. He took advantage of her, and from the sounds of it, they got her drunk so they could do these things to her. That is mostly up to interpretation, but they don't sound all too sorry for what happened. There is no 'game of drinking' in this case. She doesn't remember most of the s**t that went on.

Quote:

All genders have to be careful of these risks. Getting blind drunk gives you a risk of doing regretful stuff. Drunk people might be violent and start fights that their sober self would never do. Get drunk and your inhibitions lower. Its common knowledge. You have to be aware of that. You cant always pin the blame on someone else. You making a mistake cannot always be someone elses fault.

She had never been drunk before. She didn't know how she would act, and she wasn't with people she really trusted. She put herself in a bad situation, but they acted no better. If they were actual friends, they would have cut her off and taken her home or even just let her crash on one of their couches. But no. They continued to allow her to drink, knowing how drunk and ******** up she was, and took advantage of her wasted state.

I dont think our discussion is helping here. She asked for advice, not an argument from outside individuals. Lets agree to disagree and just get back providing them with advice. And we arent really disagreeing that much. We both agree rape is wrong. We just disagree on what natural reactions are. Lets leave it at this and go back to whats important.

Anyway, to the OP. If you really feel wronged, speak to an advisor. There are a lot of hotlines and legal advisor's if you feel you need to go down that route. Ive said my piece. Guy two is most definitely the worst and culpable. But the first and third I dont see as wrong. Just not admirable. Up to you what you wanna do

[Lady Fili]

If you're too drunk to drive you're too drunk to consent.
End of story.

You need to tell someone about it right away.
It doesn't have to be the police but at the very least contact a therapist.

[SirPuzzle]

I hope you have learned the lesson that you aren't responsible enough to drink around the opposite sex.

Cause apparently you have drunk yourself to a drunken stupor, gave a guy a b*****b, and now are mad about it even though you chose to do it.

If you don't have the discipline to control yourself when you're drunk then you shouldn't get drunk.

But you said this was your first time so yeah I understand that lots of people do stupid things their first time. Just saying I hope you take this as a lesson biggrin

[SpanishHeart27]

Being intoxicated does not equal consent if I am hearing the law correct.

I feel bad this happened to you.

[Sweet Alaurel]

SirPuzzle

I hope you have learned the lesson that you aren't responsible enough to drink around the opposite sex.

Cause apparently you have drunk yourself to a drunken stupor, gave a guy a b*****b, and now are mad about it even though you chose to do it.

If you don't have the discipline to control yourself when you're drunk then you shouldn't get drunk.

But you said this was your first time so yeah I understand that lots of people do stupid things their first time. Just saying I hope you take this as a lesson biggrin

Okay. Never once did I say I was mad. I said that I did not know quite how to feel about it. Of course I take it as a learning experience.