.. ! NOT× THINKING♡▪ OF YOU* 〗

ill put a spell on you

&. youll realize you love me.	100.0%	[ 20 ]
Total Votes:			[ 20 ]

[the fatal drop]

no
　♛ 　♛ 　 ♛　 　 ❛ I COME ▬*TO YOU IN⊹PIECES
　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN

• Steam like a haze; through the grays of the never-empty cup of Noir's tea, he contemplated his options. There had been a dilemma before: what use was there returning when he had destroyed the home he had left? Despite his people opening him with open arms, he had imagined Zephyr would not. The chase may have ended quicker if Noir had put even the slightest trace of extra effort, but he hadn't. There was no end-game. Just his son's death on his hands and knowing he'd have to kill again to go back to the things were. Now there weren't as many variables.
  
  However unkind, however ruthless, Zephyr could easily write off death. Maybe, if Noir hadn't learned to care for other things besides him and the child he picked up a long time ago, he would have had that indifference too. Why was it such a burden to learn compassion? "He knows I can kill him if I can catch him. If he gets rid of me, he can do what he wants. He's a bit optimistic in that respect. "
  
  "I think he'd be too suspicious of a stranger challenging him. Despite not having huge amounts of strength, he is shrewd." Noir gave Zephyr a displeased look, but eventually his features softened. "I don't like the idea, but it's ludicrous enough to get his attention. But deliver me to him? You'd have to have a reason why. " Noir's face lightened in spite of the context. "Trying to get rid of me so soon, Zephy?"
  
  Gaze gravitating to where Zephyr gestured, Noir knew. It was his mess. His massacre. To ask Zephyr to take care of them would be another disrespect, besides avoiding the cold truth. He had as much peace as he could, and he would carry it as he did with everything. Even if shoulders only continued to grow heavier by their burden, his spine crumpling, his eyes downcast, he felt that the only way to respect their deaths was to remember them. "I will, then." Noir said, voice just a soft breath as he placed his tea cup down and started to unravel his legs so he could get to his feet.
  
  Amazed again by Zephyr's affectionate action, Noir's face melted into something gentler. "Yeah." He said, and then, "You take care of the dishes while I'm gone." Pulling his hand out of Zephyr's, he made his way outside.
  
  There, he stood inside a bed of corpses, and it was there he slipped out from his yukata and shifted. The will-o-wisps only had to touch one or two bodies before everything was in purple and blue flame -- the people Noir once knew in ashes. What else could he say besides what was already said? There was nothing.
  
  Although his job was done, and he knew there was much more they would have to talk over, Noir didn't want to talk about anything, at least for now. Leaving his yukata discarded with all the ash, his paws passed through Zephyr's quarters where the dragon sat, like he promised, waiting.
  
  Curling up, he set his jaw on one of Zephyr's thighs, sighing.
  
  

[dragon of silence]

• ”Welcome back,” he greeted the kitsune with an open smile. Zephyr placed his palm atop Noir’s silken fur, fingers running through the expanse of the kitsune’s smooth back. He continued with the soothing motion as he spoke, ”I’ve always admired this form of yours. Such power hidden in something so lithe and graceful. It suits you well.”
  
  In contrast to his draconic form, which turned him into something more monstrous than beautiful. Eastern dragons, perhaps, shared the same grace and beauty that Noir had, but Zephyr was not from the East. He was all razor-sharp claws and giant leathery bat-like wings with pointed spines and rough scales. He was more of a winged lizard than an ethereal water spirit residing at the bottom of a lake. Magnificent, yes, but beautiful, no.
  
  Although, he knew very well just how dangerous beauty could when used by someone adept at trickery.
  
  They were almost complete opposites, in a way, but also alike in some respects. Zephyr believed it was what drew them to each other in the first place. Their stark differences served to ignite interest, and their similarities allowed them to understand each other in a manner so visceral and raw.
  
  ”I remember when you were bigger than me,” he mused, his fingers scratching idly by Noir’s neck. He used to curl up next to the kitsune, all childlike innocence and excitement whenever Noir gave him a chance to sleep like that. His happiness knew no bounds back then when it was just the two of them and nothing stood in their way. ”You used to tower over me so. I always had to crane my neck upwards to speak to you. But then one day, I realized I could see over the top of your head. I remember you being a little… flustered, hm?”
  
  Teasing laughter erupted from his lips at the memory. He could remember it so clearly, the way he stood next to Noir and made exaggerated motions about how he was so much taller now. The other man’s reaction was too priceless to forget. Zephyr was still so young in those days and though Noir didn’t have the same world-weary expression as he did now, the kitsune felt so much wiser and older than his awkward, clumsy self.
  
  ”Oh, but don’t worry,” Zephyr’s grin was sharp and toothy as he looked down at the kitsune comfortably resting on his lap. ”You’re still… how does the newer generation say it? Hm, yes… a foxy grandpa.”
  
  His laughter came straight from his chest this time, a booming, boisterous laugh that even he didn’t know he was still capable of. It took Zephyr quite a bit to calm down, his mouth still threatening to curl up into a self-satisfied smirk every now and then.
  
  ”I couldn’t resist,” he explained, not quite apologetic, his eye still mirthful as he looked at the kitsune’s expression. They were distracted now, but maybe that was for the best, considering what Noir had to do just prior to their conversation.
  x

[the fatal drop]

no
　♛ 　♛ 　 ♛　 　 ❛ I COME ▬*TO YOU IN⊹PIECES
　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN

• In a world full of ashes and the lingering scent of the past, there was only person who could get away with their fingers within his fur, and that was Zephyr -- but in the end, it was only Zephyr who could get away with much of anything. A dragonling he had picked up on a whim, unable to cast the boy out, he was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of attachment that had already been born inside the tiny thing. At the time, Noir thought having a makeshift child wouldn't be so bad. He'd grow up fast in Noir's eyes, and then they wouldn't have to see each other again. Noir could go back to being a traveler; a vagabond, happily feasting on souls, but it did not end up this way.
  
  In fact, it went incredibly off-track. "Hmm." Noir hummed in agreement, his voice distorted; deep and guttural and inhuman in his natural form, though it did sound, somehow, much of contentment. "With what you are, it's hard to believe you have a softer core, isn't it?" Rolling his crimson eyes up he watched his companion closely. He was gauging his reaction; watching the nuances in Zephyr's expression, for what had changed in their absence? Perhaps nothing.
  
  But Noir hated to miss anything. "Ha!" Noir barked in a bit of mock laughter, his tails slowly moving along what started to feel like a cramped room. "It's always troubling when your children are suddenly all grown up." There was a pang in his heart at knowing he would have to destroy, and most likely eat, the son born of his blood, but there was no love there. Only tolerance build up to irritation. "Besides, it was then you suddenly were so frustrated when I didn't see you as my equal, even in age. You wanted to be treated like an adult." Although Noir did not reveal his fangs, his lips pulled back in something akin to a human-like smile. "So maybe I was a bit flustered. You're better at that now than you were then, though, don't you think?"
  
  Raising his head to peer at Zephyr laughing, he wondered how when Noir didn't try, Zephyr was happy. Any amount of effort seemed to backfire on the fox, who was only good at tearing down, not bringing up. Wait, did he just say -- openly balking, Noir closed his jaws and slammed a few of his tails to the floor. "Alright, I see how it is,Tubba Wubba. Schmoopie." Noir looked right into Zephyr's eye as he said, "My sweet ... baby ... boy."
  
  Showing off his toothy grin, Noir said in an amused tone, "I don't know, I just couldn't resist ... Snuggle Sausage." After a seriously long pause, the fox chortled with laughter. He couldn't contain it after holding it in; after allowing those words to even pass through his lips.
  
  It was terrible.
  
  But he was happy.
  
  

[dragon of silence]

• Heat flooded his cheeks at the sound of Noir’s words. My sweet baby boy? Zephyr inhaled audibly, embarrassment clear and present on his face as the kitsune continued to speak, his pet names becoming even more unbearable by the minute. The hand that wasn’t currently resting atop Noir’s fur curled into a tight fist, not out of anger, but out of the sheer helplessness he felt in his current situation.
  
  Not even the worst of his prior battlefield defeats could compare to this humiliation.
  
  ”I--” He sputtered, unable to form a coherent sentence, his mind still reeling from the onslaught of horrendous nicknames. He couldn’t even fathom how the kitsune managed to think those up, much less say them out loud without even pausing to take a breath. ”That is--”
  
  Zephyr knew he brought this upon himself, but the consequences were just too much to bear. He didn’t think he’d last another second if Noir were to open his mouth with another barrage of pet names. Thankfully, the kitsune deigned to spare him most graciously by dissolving into a fit of laughter. He let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. At least the worst was over. His ears survived perfectly intact, though his pride was another matter entirely.
  
  He could still feel himself blushing, the blood roaring in his ears from it all. Zephyr closed his eye, refusing to meet Noir’s knowing gaze as he tried and failed to respond appropriately.
  
  ”I won’t even ask how in the world you thought all those up.”
  
  Those names were just plain awful.
  
  ”I-- I am not a child,” he hissed indignantly, a pout threatening to form on his lips. It took all that he had not to hide his face behind his hands from Noir’s smug expression. ”Ngh, alright… I deserved that.”
  
  Zephyr accepted defeat with a loud sigh, his shoulders sagging. He reopened his eye, but continued to avoid staring into the Kitsune’s crimson eyes just to save himself from another bout of embarrassment. Noir was definitely treating him like a child (and whose fault was that?). His eye twitched.
  
  ”You are lucky I’m fond of you,” he muttered pointedly, burying his hands in Noir’s fur just to keep himself still. ”I suppose something of use came out of that so I shouldn’t complain.”
  
  With a good-natured smile, he met Noir’s gaze. Jokingly, he continued, ”you gave me a reason to hand you over to your son.”
  
  Then, he rubbed a hand over the top of the kitsune’s head as though to pet him. ”We wouldn’t even need to raise a finger against him. You could slay him right where he stood by calling him… snuggle… sausage. I am sure that would cause him to die from sheer embarrassment.”
  
  He tried his utmost to look serious as he said the phrase, which made it all the worse for Zephyr to contain the immature laugh stuck in his throat.
  x

[the fatal drop]

no
　♛ 　♛ 　 ♛　 　 ❛ I COME ▬*TO YOU IN⊹PIECES
　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN

• Noir was admittedly unable to stop laughing. Perhaps if Zephyr had just been annoyed with him, had instantly shut him down, the laughter would have ceased marginally sooner, but this did not happen. Instead, Zephyr was taken aback, unable to even form a sentence. To see him so at a loss of words only made Noir continue to laugh, for firstly, it was a payback well won, and secondly, it had ben a while since he made Zephyr at a loss for words. Even if it was a very cruel way to do so.
  
  Zephyr was blushing. From shame? It was a little hard to tell. But Noir liked to place the expression as embarrassment -- after all, getting Zephyr to blush now when he was so full of stubborn pride was an incomparable treat. "Maybe." Noir said, still incredibly smug at yet another fantastic win on his side. For calling him a grandpa, well ... "You know I don't mean it. If i saw you as a child, I think our situation would be very different. Or simply would have never changed at all from what it was."
  
  Huffing a breath from his nose, Noir rolled over to his side, his tails smacking something down. See, he knew it was cramped in here. "Oh yes, I am so incredibly lucky." The fox mocked, pleased that Zephyr finally looked him in the eyes, even if it was just to tease him back.
  
  Rubbing Zephyr's hand back, he hummed in contentment before snickering. "I don't think that sort of torture would work as well as it did on you.
  You can laugh, by the way. But you'll have to concede to another loss because you could barely say one of them without laughing. Not that I mind. I like winning."
  
  Raising his body up to his feet, Noir stretched out his legs. "Thank you for the laugh and the uncharacteristic blush. It was cute. " Noir looked outside. "But I know it was a distraction. Do you think ... we can wait just one more day before we go after him?" The fox paused, having a hard time expressing what he wanted to say without revealing too much. "I think one grim responsibility a day works better for me."
  
  Turning back to look at Zephyr, he said, "I'll go shift back. Your clothes are too stifling, so I'll go to my bedroom."
  
  
  

[dragon of silence]

• ”I’m not in a hurry,” he bowed his head in acquiescence, serious once more. All traces of his flustered appearance gone in the blink of an eye. ”We can wait as long as we need.”
  
  Zephyr would’ve wanted to get it over with it as soon as possible, but that wasn’t his call. He saw the strange look in Noir’s eyes when the kitsune struggled to say what he wanted to say. If they went after his son now… well, Zephyr doubted it would’ve weighed any easier on Noir’s soul, even if they were technically resolving a problem. He supposed that’s what happens when you put too much stock in the lives of others. But he couldn’t begrudge him for that, not when it was so characteristic of Noir to place value over something as fragile as life. At any other time, Zephyr would’ve reacted with disgust at such a blatant show of weakness. That was then. This was now.
  
  ”What a shame,” he shrugged, a hand smoothing out what little wrinkles accumulated on his shirt. ”You’d look good in my clothes, but I guess you’ve always preferred comfort over style. It’s not as bad as you think, you know. Actually, now that I think about it, the sizes wouldn’t quite match...”
  
  His clothes would be a little too big, the sleeves too long, and the shoulders too wide. Zephyr figured Noir looked best when he was garbed in flowing robes, the sleeves of his yukata hanging gracefully by his sides, fluttering about as the wind blew. Ethereal-like, almost, just as he was meant to look.
  
  ”Wait,” Zephyr tilted his head inquisitively, brows furrowed. ”Your bedroom, hm?”
  
  Briefly, his expression took upon a look of contemplation. He never touched Noir’s room after he disappeared. Perhaps once, just to place a hand over the sliding door, debating whether or not to destroy it or to leave it alone. Other than that, Zephyr kept it off-limits even to himself. The temptation was strong, but his will proved stronger in the end.
  
  Speaking of temptations...
  
  A lascivious look settled upon his face. ”I can think of a few things we can do in there,” he all but purred the words, mouth upturned with amusement. ”Haha, well... I’ll let you decide. Either way, I’d be content to watch and relax on your bed instead.”
  
  He unfolded his legs and made his way to where the kitsune stood. ”So?” Zephyr smirked. ”Your decision?”
  
  wat is writing durrhurr
  x

[the fatal drop]

no
　♛ 　♛ 　 ♛　 　 ❛ I COME ▬*TO YOU IN⊹PIECES
　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN

• THANKS GAIA FOR ALWAYS LOGGING ME OUT here's the essence bc im angry and can't write it again
  im going to try to rectify the last part but im still pissed
  
  Noir is pretty cold. He says, "Can we?" And even if he seems friendly, he isn't.
  
  He starts shifting back to human while Zephyr is talking, and then says something along the lines of, "Comfort is also a style, don't let your judgement filter into your voice too much."
  
  He hums through a growl because I believe he's a bit in pain, and hums despite that. He's thinking about whether or not to tell Zephyr what he's thinking about, but he says first, "When have you ever been content just to watch?" And smiles all coy while exiting because he knows Zephyr will follow.
  
  Then halfway before getting there he says what's on his mind. "Do you want to return to the way we were? Should I leave my humanity behind or keep it?" He takes Zephyr's hand impatiently as they reach his bedroom and his smirk is back. "That's your decision."
  
  Pulling Zephyr into the dark of his bedroom, Noir unlatched his hand from Zephyr's to take his time popping the shirt's buttons. "Now we'll have to get rid of this ridiculous shirt," Noir said, taunting the dragon's lack of patience. Noir had plenty when he was teasing like this, and he had all night to let his thoughts go blank and for him to focus on the heat of Zephyr's skin on his.
  
  Leaning in, Noir splayed his fingers along Zephyr's bare chest, his other hand wrapping around the dragon's neck only to pull them closer. Not to kiss, but to be close; to feel their breaths overlap, for heat to brush up against head and for their foreheads to almost touch. Noir's smile had become lazy, relaxed, drunk on a small fraction of joy. "Well," he murmured, fingers sliding up the dragon's nape, "you better make tonight worth it, hm?"
  
  And that's when Noir kissed him.
  
  

[dragon of silence]

• Zephyr didn’t understand the importance of the statement at first, posed so nonchalantly and without much context behind it. His decision. What did that mean? He opened his mouth to speak, to ask for clarification, but Noir’s insistent grasp on his hand pulled him away from his thoughts and into Noir’s bedroom.
  
  There were hands on him unbuttoning his shirt slowly, goading him to react and to push as he was wont to do. ”You tease too much,” Zephyr growled, never satisfied with just waiting for what was to come. It was tortuous for someone like him, but he willed himself not to move out of spite. He’d play Noir’s little game.
  
  He allowed himself to be pulled forward, gaze heated as he felt the kitsune’s touch against his neck. ”Taking charge now, are we?” Was all he managed to say before Noir pressed their lips together. Zephyr brought his hands up to rest on Noir’s shoulders and pushed him backwards against a wall, not once breaking their kiss. His hands wandered downward, pinching and squeezing every bit of Noir he could grab.
  
  I missed you I missed you I missed you, but--
  
  Without warning, he pulled away with a light gasp, his expression uncertain. ”Wait.”
  
  Zephyr willed himself to calm down, but there was a flash of anger somewhere inside him -- white hot and oh so familiar.
  
  ”What you mentioned before…” His voice was oddly subdued, not soft, but simply muted, as though he were doing all that he could to keep his emotions bottled up, numbing himself for what he meant to say.. ”What you asked of me…”
  
  There was a pause between his words, mouth opened wordlessly before he laughed. It was mirthless. Hollow.
  
  “I didn’t understand it then, but…” He wrenched his eye away from Noir’s pinning gaze and focused instead on the darkness in his periphery. His thoughts were a jumbled mess of anger, disappointment, and confusion all mixed into one. ”Is that really my decision?”
  
  His grip on Noir’s shoulders tightened. ”You are making me decide… whether or not to let you go or to keep yourself chained to me.”
  
  I’ve always brought you down, haven’t I…?
  
  Zephyr didn’t let Noir answer. He surged forward, dropping all pretenses of tenderness as he kissed Noir with such harsh intensity. There was a bite to the way he pressed their lips together, teeth clacking against each other as he pressed his body even closer against Noir’s, removing what little space was left between them. He felt like he was burning up, a feverish haze taking over his mind.
  
  ”You already know how I feel.” Zephyr bit Noir’s bottom lip, reopening the wound from last night, savoring the taste -- Noir’s taste -- on his tongue.
  
  If he could devour him right there and then, if he could possess him -- both body and soul -- and take him all for himself. To own him so completely--
  
  Zephyr spun Noir around and threw him onto the bed, his arms caging the man under him and for a moment, he simply stared. Silent and unmoving with a frenzied look in his eye, reminiscent of that night all those years ago.
  
  Suddenly, he bent his head down, burying his face in the crook of Noir’s neck to hide his face, voice barely above a whisper.
  
  ”...how I’ve always felt…”
  x

[the fatal drop]

no
　♛ 　♛ 　 ♛　 　 ❛ I COME ▬*TO YOU IN⊹PIECES
　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN

• "Hmm." A warm sound reverberates from the back of Noir's throat underneath the warmth of his amusement as he replied, "If anything, I don't tease you enough."
  
  Snickering underneath Zephyr's lips, Noir grunted as his back met the wall, his breath caught in the squeezing of his lungs. Zephyr may have been impatient, but his kisses were long and lingering; with a need for air, Noir's head often went blank, his body on a high. It was as if they were making up for all the time they were apart -- but twenty years was like a flash to either of them -- until they were without each other. Each year, each day, felt like a human's agonizing obsession over the passing of time, and although Noir was focused on a task he still dreamed of a time where his nights were absent of chill.
  
  A familiar expression passed over Noir's face as Zephyr pulled away -- a fox who knew all the endgames, who knew the strings he pulled -- arrogance, and the smirk that accompanied it. Ah, how angry, how bitter his dragon seemed, when given such a heavy decision, when all distractions had to be pushed away for this. Maybe the dilemma wasn't as complicated as the dragon was making it, maybe it wasn't as heavy, but to see it placed on Zephyr's shoulders was interesting on it's own.
  
  Instead of an answer, Noir was momentarily astounded by lips on his. Yes, this was one of the reasons why he adored his dragonling so much -- however some things may have been predictable, the things that mattered -- Zephyr surpassed his expectations.
  
  A growl mixed with a groan pushed its way past Noir's now bleeding lips, the pain throbbing but not enough to be more than irritation; a rush.
  
  It was all a rush -- quick, without thought, and all like the Zephyr Noir knew. Noir didn't say anything for the longest time as he stared back at Zephyr, relinquishing nothing but the absence of his retaliation -- he was being caged, willingly, in the prison of the dragon's arms, and that was just fine.
  
  Features slackening, Noir's smirk shifted into a tender smile. Raising his arm he placed a palm on the back of Zephyr's head, pulling his fingers through the dragon's hair. Softly, slowing, he repeated the rhythm for another short while before he answered, quiet too, "I know." Pressing his lips to Zephyr's cheek, Noir looked up at the dark panels of his ceiling. "To give you the weight of that decision was cruel of me."
  
  Hushing whatever complaints Zephyr might have had, Noir used his hands to pull Zephyr's face out of his neck, where he could gaze up at him. "It's just so precious to see you so vulnerable like this." Noir kept his hands on either side of Zephyr's face, fingers pressing against the softness of the dragon's cheeks. "I'm sorry. I was trying to give you freedom to choose, but it backfired." Noir sighed, exasperated. "I love you too, Zephy. I'm not going anywhere, not this time. Never again. "
  
  "Take me, own me, I don't care. Make me forget everyone, everything else." Leaning up to press his lips to Zephyr's ear, he murmured, "Make me yours."
  
  

[dragon of silence]

• The warmth of Noir’s presence was almost enough to calm him down. Almost. Zephyr closed his eyes, lost in the feeling of Noir’s fingers combing through his year. He was a calming presence -- soothing -- the tension he could feel in his bones slowly dissipating.
  
  He didn’t resist when Noir lifted his face up. Surprisingly, his face was dry. He did not want to cry and he did not cry, but Zephyr’s voice hitched in his throat anyway. There was so much to say, so much to lay bare. He decided not to speak -- not yet -- he had already shamed himself enough. It was sickening to lose control like this… to show such vulnerability, such weakness. It almost disgusted him if it weren’t for Noir’s constant reassuring presence and the softness in his eyes. The steady, rhythmic motions of his hand did wonders for Zephyr’s frazzled state of mind.
  
  A choked up sob, or something akin to it, managed to slip past his lips. His eyes remained dry, but it seemed as though his voice wanted to betray him.
  
  ”Hah,” he said, voice unsteady. ”You are my only weakness.”
  
  He chuckled, slightly bitter, but not entirely hateful. He only wished that Noir didn’t make him feel so vulnerable. But then, he supposed they were alike in that respect. Their vulnerabilities laid bare: each other.
  
  ”Truly?” There was a hopeful note in his voice. He feared to chase after it, knowing it would only lead to pain. Yet he couldn’t stop himself from doing it anyway. ”You will stay?”
  
  With a wretch like me?
  
  They were both wretches, he decided. Neither of them were free of fault. Both shared sins equally, or at least, to the same extent.
  
  ”You are mine,” he said, matter-of-factly, like it was a universal truth. Common knowledge. And maybe it was. Maybe the more he said it, the truer it would become. Quieter this time, he said, ”...and I am yours.”
  
  He claimed Noir’s lips once more, thoughts muddled, lost in bliss.
  
  TIMESKIP CAUSE SEX YA KNOW?? DON’T BAN THIS THREAD PLS GAIA FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY??
  
  He laid next to Noir, facing him. The afternoon sunset streamed through the cracks in the door. Zephyr remained silent as he laid there, lost in thought. He looked at Noir, but his sight didn’t rest solely on him. Instead, it seemed as though he were looking through him and not directly at him.
  
  ”Do you mean it?” Zephyr asked, breaking the silence, his voice hushed. ”You will not leave me?”
  
  You won’t leave me behind? Not again…
  
  Zephyr did not fear much, but the absence of Noir’s presence drove a nail into his heart. The mere thought of spending another twenty years… maybe more… by himself, bereft of the kitsune’s companionship. Now that he was well and truly alone, without even the irritating presence of the others...
  
  It was unthinkable. Especially when Noir was right there beside him, within reach.
  
  He reached out, fingers brushing against Noir’s face. Why should he spend the rest of eternity alone when the one he coveted the most was right there before him?
  
  IM DRUNK FORGIVE ME LMAO
  x

[the fatal drop]

no
　♛ 　♛ 　 ♛　 　 ❛ I COME ▬*TO YOU IN⊹PIECES
　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN

• Weakness and possession. Noir was a possession, a thing to clamor for and reach hands out towards -- it made Zephyr desperate, made his face slacken and his lips press into tenderness -- a tenderness unbecoming, no, unrecognizable, on a man who could be characterized by any other as cruel or indifferent. But Noir knew this. Knew that he was Zephyr's emotional vulnerability, the source -- it was, without words, Zephyr's biggest declaration of love. Noir did not have to be followed around anymore to know.
  
  If only Noir had such dedication to Zephyr; could admit to the same vulnerability. He was vulnerable, sure, but not in such a dramatic way -- not solely for the dragon and the dragon only. The only thing that was reserved for Zephyr was a limitless amount of second chances; of an endless amount of forgiveness, for what use was there being angry at Zephyr?
  
  Though his mind was clear, his body had a slow time recovering. Perhaps that was why it took a few moments for Noir restlessly to open his eyes, heavily leaden by exhaustion. "Never again." He said, voice like silk and languid; heavy honey underneath warmth and a small amount of joy. "It makes a mess of us both."
  
  Opening his eyes fully, Noir's gaze followed Zephyr's fingers before gravitating up to the strange expression placed on the dragon's face. Solemn? No, it was something deeper than that. Maybe a longing. There was a hesitation there, still. Ah -- Zephyr didn't quite believe him yet.
  
  Although not willing to move his body much, Noir could still speak reasonably well. "It was easy to convince myself I could live without you. After all, when I left I was angry, even resentful. I imagine you felt something like that, too. " Noir smiled, albeit tainted with its own sorrow. "But ... it is also easy to take what you're used to for granted. Your absence was something hollow in me. I've become dependent on your presence, you see. I, of all things, got lonely. " Noir snickered. "Thousands of years just fine on my own, and then, twenty without your company somehow is agonizing? It seemed dramatic. Embarrassing, even. But it is the truth." The kitsune sighed, reaching out to touch Zephyrs's hand; to interlace their fingers.
  
  "I may not ... be as openly possessive as you. Nor do I show my love the same way, if what we have can even be considered a human love, but ... for what is is worth, I can't imagine being apart from you again." Settling deeper into the covers, although Noir was used to getting up at the crack of morning, he did not want to this day. "So stop looking at me like that. I won't say something like this again."
  
  

[dragon of silence]

• The day was only half over and yet, it felt as though a lifetime passed by with the heaviness in both their eyes.
  
  ”My apologies,” Zephyr breathed out, feeling witless by his unintentional display of fragility. He cast his eye downwards. ”You’ve always brought out the foolishness in me.”
  
  Noir’s words dug up emotions he’d been forced to bury over the years and unearthing them all at once had been quite the exhausting experience. A myriad of doubt, fear, possessiveness swirled about his head in an incessant cacophony until he burst like a dam. His one source of comfort, however, had been the way Noir handled his outburst with such grace. Zephyr did not know whether he’d react favorably or turn away--as Noir implied he would if Zephyr chose otherwise--but it seemed fortune favored him at the moment.
  
  ”You’re right. Of course you are right.” He relented, sweeping his hesitation off to the side as he felt the warmth of Noir’s fingers within his own hand. Zephyr laughed, a bit chastised by Noir’s sincerity. Even after their earlier confessions and trysts, somehow he still found it in himself to doubt. That had to change; it wouldn’t be fair for either of them to remain in a constant state of uncertainty, wondering if their feelings were one and the same.
  
  ”I don’t know how you put up with my unsightly behavior.” The pushing and pulling, all the hesitance, and bottled up emotions waiting for the perfect moment to explode. It was exhausting to deal with even for him. He couldn’t imagine how it was for Noir to always be on the lookout of Zephyr’s mercurial moods. ”But thank you,” he finally allowed himself a small smile. ”For staying.”
  
  It was enough just to be there with Noir, their hands intertwined, the heat of their bodies mingling under the sheets.
  
  ”However…” Zephyr began as he slowly propped himself up on an elbow, unruly hair blanketing his face momentarily before he tucked his bangs behind an ear. ”I have not been entirely fair. You’ve cleared my doubts and I should return the favor.” He let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. ”I’ve always been flawed since the very beginning, I’m sure you know this. Temperamental, chaotic, always on the verge of flying apart… Yes, I’m lucky to have someone like you, willing to deal with my worst moments.”
  
  He never realized how difficult it was to be honest--to pour out his heart and soul even to someone he cherished. His skin crawled, yet he pressed on, unwilling to back down now that he started.
  
  ”I know you are sincere. I’ve always known, I just… refused to see what was already in front of me. But I see clearly now and I think that… I can afford to let my doubts go and throw myself wholesale into this. We are both changed for the better, I think. It’s time to put faith in us again.”
  x

[the fatal drop]

no
　♛ 　♛ 　 ♛　 　 ❛ I COME ▬*TO YOU IN⊹PIECES
　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN　 　　 　　 SO YOU CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN

• There is always disbelief, there, at Zephyr's apologies, which, in this moment, dropped from him as easily as a breath. Not so usually would an apology happen without repercussion, or would an apology happen at all -- perhaps, both, in their silly fumbling, a long lost vulnerability, there was some leniency for this. Noir knew that making fun of Zephyr now would be in poor taste, and, in some way, it was endearing.
  
  In the end, this is maybe what they had always needed. Honesty. An honesty lost to their youth, where betrayal and blood had been placed between them, a people who relied on Noir driving them apart even further. Then, it was all Noir could do to lie. He didn't think Zephyr could handle it. After all, in his mind, it was hard to let go of the Zephyr who seemed so much like a child.
  
  That wasn't fair. And he was very much not a child.
  
  Chuckling deeply, Noir's smile was playful. "I don't know. What is that saying? Ah, 'love makes you do crazy things?'" Noir's smile became cheeky, even as he whispered a very small 'you are welcome,' restlessness like a jitter at the tips of his fingers. Yes, he would stay. He had to stay. He had seen what leaving had done to them.
  
  Never again. That would be another kindness wouldn't it? Never leaving? But maybe it was what was expected. He didn't know. There was no relationship handbook. He had just done what he had wanted, mostly. They had both had little communication, so --
  
  Unable to veil his surprise, Noir was about to interject, saying there was no favor to return, but quickly could not reject the words he thought he would never hear. Or might never hear, again. For a while, Noir mulled over what Zephyr said. Faith in us. A strange sentence; a bonding sentence. "Us" always felt like a ball and chain, something to restrict Noir's freedom, but ... it was hard not to think of anything but that "us".
  
  Noir let out a resigned sigh. "I don't know. I don't think I can do that until you tell me that you love me." And there it was, back again, that cheeky smile. "I am too, not completely perfect. In a way, it is my choices that have made you this way. So for that, I'm sorry."
  
  Noir attempted to lift himself out of the covers, only to realize they were so entangled that he could only move just slight. A pout began to form, but he struggled to maintain patience. Cuddling was fine. Lounging around all day wasn't. Even if they were having a heart to heart to chat. ...So maybe he should stay a little longer. He couldn't make up his mind even a little. "But ... thank you. For not doubting me. I ... did not like it, your doubt. It hurt. So thank you. I know I'm hard to trust. I'll try to honor it." Noir paused, tilted his head, and then said, "No, I will honor it."
  
  Reaching his free hand to Zephyr's face, he pressed his fingers gingerly once again to the scar there. In a way, that was a promise, too. A mark on Zephyr that would never heal, that was made by him and only him -- a mark of possession. "So, new me, new you, new us. Do I get a kiss out of all of this?"