Skuzzi
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Savage Strawberry
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- Posted: Tue, 08 Jul 2014 22:48:53 +0000
I dated/had a fling a guy who always made me feel like he was entitled to my affection and manipulated me.
This is what happened(bear with me):
I met this cute boy and we clicked. I really liked him. Until we had bed issues. Then obviously things wouldn't work for me and I had to end it even after a couple months. But then, oh then, he went NUTS. He posted a picture of himself on instagram with two fingers like a gun to his head saying he was going to kill himself because of me, and that he'd be in the news headline saying he would be dead. I flipped out, was crying and worried, called 911 so that police could go check up on him. I would be devastated if anyone died because of me. I felt my heart race and almost had a panic attack.
They take him away, thoroughly question him for signs of mental illness (he was in there for AWHILE, about 5 hours). They let him go, and his parents took him home. Here's the kicker, though. He apologized for everything, but used his emotions as an excuse for his actions. One word he used was "blind sighted" by my decision not to be with him. Like he was "entitled" and "allowed" to act and do a bad manipulative thing because he just felt a certain way. I understand that getting dumped hurts, but this was extreme. He didn't even want to kill himself (at least not in this moment), he was just trying to see what my reaction would be. Turns out, I would never take suicide lightly. Ever. This was a concept he also failed to understand. He didn't understand why I did what I did. Almost as if he assumed that I didn't care for him because I didn't give him the "love" and "relationship" that he felt entitled to have from me. I found his actions disturbing as most normal people would, and proceeded to contact him with caution. I told him that night that I did not know if I could still be friends knowing the extent of his actions before. He understood that for the time being, but it was only a matter of time before he texted me saying "You don't even like me do you" but then contradicting this with an "I miss you when can we hang out again?". Yet again, this boy felt entitled to have me for some reason I could not understand.
My conclusion links back to even before we saw each other. In the winter, he went through a very difficult depression spell that made him miss a whole semester of school. So I'm thinking his mental health is very much in a bad place, but perhaps it's something more complicated than depression. This sense of being "entitled" and a feeling of deserving me even when I had rejected him comes to mind. Perhaps it's something else, I don't know. But I think about what happened a lot, and something is obviously very off with him. I don't talk to him anymore but I'm wondering if I should contact his parents personally and talk about it, because they knew about the incident and didn't do anything. Either they didn't care, or they just didn't get the full story. Either way, I feel like I should do something. I do understand, though, that I cannot control his actions. He is an adult and in reality I have 0 control over whether he receives help.
His friends were surprisingly not shocked at all. They thought it was funny and even laughed it off, which really offended me.
This kind of got me thinking creepy thoughts, and reminded me of the Isla Vista shooting when that boy "didn't get the girls he wanted" and through his emotions just reacted and felt entitled to do so. I'm not saying this boy would do any of that. I'm just saying that I see a link between these behaviors.
I desperately want WELL thought out advice.
exclaim PLEASE remember that this is a SERIOUS TOPIC. Please treat it as such and remember that I do not take suicide lightly. My intention of this topic is to discuss this scenario and to receive advice from other people.
This is what happened(bear with me):
I met this cute boy and we clicked. I really liked him. Until we had bed issues. Then obviously things wouldn't work for me and I had to end it even after a couple months. But then, oh then, he went NUTS. He posted a picture of himself on instagram with two fingers like a gun to his head saying he was going to kill himself because of me, and that he'd be in the news headline saying he would be dead. I flipped out, was crying and worried, called 911 so that police could go check up on him. I would be devastated if anyone died because of me. I felt my heart race and almost had a panic attack.
They take him away, thoroughly question him for signs of mental illness (he was in there for AWHILE, about 5 hours). They let him go, and his parents took him home. Here's the kicker, though. He apologized for everything, but used his emotions as an excuse for his actions. One word he used was "blind sighted" by my decision not to be with him. Like he was "entitled" and "allowed" to act and do a bad manipulative thing because he just felt a certain way. I understand that getting dumped hurts, but this was extreme. He didn't even want to kill himself (at least not in this moment), he was just trying to see what my reaction would be. Turns out, I would never take suicide lightly. Ever. This was a concept he also failed to understand. He didn't understand why I did what I did. Almost as if he assumed that I didn't care for him because I didn't give him the "love" and "relationship" that he felt entitled to have from me. I found his actions disturbing as most normal people would, and proceeded to contact him with caution. I told him that night that I did not know if I could still be friends knowing the extent of his actions before. He understood that for the time being, but it was only a matter of time before he texted me saying "You don't even like me do you" but then contradicting this with an "I miss you when can we hang out again?". Yet again, this boy felt entitled to have me for some reason I could not understand.
My conclusion links back to even before we saw each other. In the winter, he went through a very difficult depression spell that made him miss a whole semester of school. So I'm thinking his mental health is very much in a bad place, but perhaps it's something more complicated than depression. This sense of being "entitled" and a feeling of deserving me even when I had rejected him comes to mind. Perhaps it's something else, I don't know. But I think about what happened a lot, and something is obviously very off with him. I don't talk to him anymore but I'm wondering if I should contact his parents personally and talk about it, because they knew about the incident and didn't do anything. Either they didn't care, or they just didn't get the full story. Either way, I feel like I should do something. I do understand, though, that I cannot control his actions. He is an adult and in reality I have 0 control over whether he receives help.
His friends were surprisingly not shocked at all. They thought it was funny and even laughed it off, which really offended me.
This kind of got me thinking creepy thoughts, and reminded me of the Isla Vista shooting when that boy "didn't get the girls he wanted" and through his emotions just reacted and felt entitled to do so. I'm not saying this boy would do any of that. I'm just saying that I see a link between these behaviors.
I desperately want WELL thought out advice.
exclaim PLEASE remember that this is a SERIOUS TOPIC. Please treat it as such and remember that I do not take suicide lightly. My intention of this topic is to discuss this scenario and to receive advice from other people.
