[NPC] Dr. Singh
(?)NPC
- Posted: Thu, 14 May 2009 20:55:34 +0000
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Things are evolving a little early this week! We've got a colorful new look for the Gogh Reed, plus an early evolution from the Reve Rouille. We'll also be moving next week's EI report up to Thursday the 21st, so keep an eye out for it a day early!
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And now, with the help of a very special guest, Timmy prepares to confront the shocking decision that will change his life forever... read on for the full Evolving Item Report!
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Dr. Singh: Hi, everyone! Welcome to the Evolving Item Report, your up-to-the-minute source of EI news. We're doing the show a little early this week-- as you can see, we've got a very special guest joining us. Please give a big round of applause for Timmy's idol, the maudlin pop hero from across the pond...
- Timmy: Holy goodnight! It's BORRISSEY!
- Timmy: Doc! You... this is the nicest thing you've ever done for me!
Borrissey: Ah, the "Anima." The soul; the essential bit of man, so they say-- but why has nature thrust it into so wretched a body? Have I no choice in the matter? Tell, me, Dr. Singh, must we--
Dr. Singh: Please save your bizarre interludes for the end of the show, Borrissey. We've still got another lovely evolution to show off: the ever-popular Gogh Reed is back with a burst of rainbow color, plus the most fantastical little animal companion yet! We should note that the Gogh Reed's creator will be away for a while, and the next couple of evolutions will be in the hands of some excellent guest artists-- but after that, the original artist will return to finish things up!
- Timmy: I can't wait to see what they come up with, Doc! So, uh, can I talk to Borrissey now?
- Timmy: Hey Borrissey! Hey Borrissey!
- Timmy: Do you like my shirt, Borrissey? It has your face on it! I have all your records, Borrissey! Hey! Did the Doc tell you about my weird medical stuff?
- Timmy: So you're saying I should stay a child forever? Golly, Borrissey, thanks for the advice!
- Timmy: Aww, don't worry, Borrissey! The world's not gonna lose me! I mean, it's not as if I'm dyin' or anything...
Dr. Singh: This is... uh... obviously some kind of misunderstanding. Timmy's not dying, exactly, he's just... well, there's this puberty thing, and...
Borrissey: If he's not dying, Dr. Singh, what possessed you to call the Final Wish Foundation and tell them that it was this child's dying wish to meet Borrissey?
Dr. Singh: Well, I tried calling your booking agent, but he said you were busy with another thing, so... uh...
Borrissey: I should perhaps inform you, Doctor, that the Final Wish Foundation is not a toy, and the time I'm spending here comes at the expense of an actual dying child, who even as we speak is dwindling into lonely oblivion while crying out my name: "Borrissey, oh, Borrissey, why did you not come for me in my dying hour, like I so dearly wished?" But no, little dying boy, I won't be there to comfort you whist your final sputtering breath is expelled, because I've been conned by a soulless harridan and her... blue-haired manlet.
- Timmy: I love how you talk, Borrissey! Will you sign my shirt?
Borrissey: Alas, it is a choice we must all face sooner or later-- but not a matter that requires the attention of a lugubrious pop singer, I'm afraid. Growing up is a dreadful thing, Timmy; a fleeting period of teenage clumsiness, then a long, dolorous walk through the cemetery of dead dreams. Oh, Timmy, perhaps death would have been a blessing--
- Timmy: Nah, the Doc means it literally! I have this medical thing called "megapuberty," and to fix it I either have to skip straight to adulthood or stay a kid for the rest of my life, but I don't know which to choose! Help, me Borrissey! You're my only hope!
- Timmy: So you're sayin' I get the fuzzy side of the lollipop either way?
Dr. Singh: Well, you're absolutely no help at all, are you?
Borrissey: I'm surprised it took you this long to notice, Dr. Singh.
- Timmy: Don't be so hard on Borrissey, Doc. He may be depressing, but he's got the tortured soul of a poet, just like me! I guess I'll just have to think on this decision a little more...