GakuenMonogatari manga

[kin-chan1]

Have you ever wonder what is the highschool juvenille delinquent's unexplored wold is like? what they do when they are not making any mayhem? what they do on their free time? They are making even more mayhem!! This story follows the misadventures of Sakurai Taro as he strives to become Japans #1 Bancho, in an era of chaos, 5 years after World War 2 along with his group. Taro desires to rid Japan of its unsafe streets, shattered families, and bring Japan an era of happines, by destroying the most powerful criminal organizations, with his own criminal organization, fight fire with fire!
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[IronSpike]

Never mind all the other problems with this comic. If you're going to set a comic in a well-documented historical time period (like post-WWII Japan), you need to do research.

A Nintendo DS? Really? Really?

[devilyoudont]

Maybe the dates are a mistake? I don't see any reason for this comic to be set in the post war time period.

Weaknesses:

- Please proof read. Sometimes your grammar makes it hard to follow the text. Sometimes things are not grammatically incorrect, but still phrased incredibly awkwardly. This is something that will be easy to fix with little effort.

- It's clear that you don't know much about day to day stuff in Japan. Even if this is a modern setting, many things just don't make sense. Japan is not a fantasy setting like Middle Earth or Narnia where anything can happen.

For example a random student from Gunma showing up at a high school in Saitama is really weird. Like, a student from Connecticut randomly showing up in the middle of the day at a school in Rhode Island. This even is ignoring how difficult it would be for teenagers to travel between prefectures (Do they really have access to the family's car in the middle of the day? Are they all even old enough to drive in Japan?). It's even worse if this is actually supposed to be set in 1947 (railway systems were still messed up from the war).

- Layout and flow do not work for right-to-left reading. For example on this page :http://www.mangamagazine.net/read-manga/GakuenMonogatari-Chapter-1-Delinquents-Lesson-1-German-suplexs-are-not-greeting-etiquette/297/0/3

Look at the bottom two panels. The higher placement of the word balloons and the panel border of the left panel all imply that the left panel should be read before the right panel. Either go with Left-to-right instead (because your art clearly lays itself out left-to-right) or thumbnail your pages several times before you draw the final page and make sure you are making layouts that work in a right-to-left format.

On top of that, your site navigation is set up for left-to-right reading, and English naturally reads left-to-right. Left-to-right is probably just a better choice for this comic in general.

- Anatomy needs a lot of work. There are places where some body part is randomly too big or too small. Character designs fluctuate between panels, and no one has a unique silhouette anyway. Doing focused anatomy studies will help with these things.

Strengths:

- This comic has a descent amount of contrast compared to works at a similar skill level. You do a good job combining hatching, tones, and spot blacks.

- You also seem to have a descent grasp of line weight.

[Fansub]

is that... comic sans?

[lune argent bleu]

After reading Barefoot Gen, a comic also about post war Japan, I find this deeply revolting.

Pardon my language, but if you have seen a copy, you might see what I mean.