Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023]

Before I go, I've got to know:

Is that what you mean to say?	29.2%	[ 744 ]
Before I rise to my defense,	5.0%	[ 127 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,	5.6%	[ 142 ]
Before I build that wall of words,	4.3%	[ 110 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?	10.2%	[ 260 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,	9.8%	[ 249 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.	6.1%	[ 156 ]
When I speak and when I hear,	2.9%	[ 75 ]
Let the love light shine through me.	26.8%	[ 682 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2545 ]

[[Stained in Satin]]

I should leave before I get too sentimental.

I should have disappeared.

[Dork Of Your Dreams]

dls, I spent the past hour trying to learn the dance to Single Ladies.
I feel great, I feel powerful scream
I feel like I could kill a man.

but like, I feel like it...but I probably don't look like it
I've always been so embarassed to be part of dance numbers
because my body just does not seem to move that way,
or it's just being around people that makes me tense up and freeze.
all I know is I'm a shitty dancer, but it's fun to do from time to time

so yeah, in my room alone, shall I do it
but I'd love for M and A to learn it with me this summer emotion_awesome

[Draugma]

[Stained in Satin]

I should leave before I get too sentimental.

I should have disappeared.

[shiny spoink]

me rn:

[Jemnu]

Get a good sleep, man. o 3o

[Everyday Arson Man]

I'd rather not be lied to, either. Just tell me, "You're friggin' boring."

Is it so hard? Say it. Ugh.

[Draugma]

It still hurts sometimes, you know?
When you get that attatched to someone, and things go that far south, that fast... And you know the whole time it's your fault and you never saw it until it was too late.
When you know that, if you'd stopped for one second and looked at the situation, you'd realize that you, yourself were the reason things were falling apart, but you were too stubborn to change your ways...

It ******** hurts. It's a wound that doesn't just heal.
It's something you'll carry for the rest of your life, I guess.

It's the kind of thing that makes you hate yourself. Makes you doubt yourself.

[Lvl 15 Blastoise]

[ // яej ]: I wanna know what love`s like

i hate sad dramas.
especially when they bully grannys. scream

[Draugma]

Maybe someday I'll be someone I can be proud of...
Someone -you- can be proud of.

I'm sorry.

[Dork Of Your Dreams]

Sleep deprivation will likely kill me,
but for once, in what seemed like the longest time,
I will go to bed happy.
And knowing I made myself happy, all on my own, is ******** great.

Night/ morning/ afternoon dls,
hoping you all feel better~

[mewkittyy]

Draugma

It still hurts sometimes, you know?
When you get that attatched to someone, and things go that far south, that fast... And you know the whole time it's your fault and you never saw it until it was too late.
When you know that, if you'd stopped for one second and looked at the situation, you'd realize that you, yourself were the reason things were falling apart, but you were too stubborn to change your ways...

It ******** hurts. It's a wound that doesn't just heal.
It's something you'll carry for the rest of your life, I guess.

It's the kind of thing that makes you hate yourself. Makes you doubt yourself.

[Jemnu]

mewkittyy

Draugma

It still hurts sometimes, you know?
When you get that attatched to someone, and things go that far south, that fast... And you know the whole time it's your fault and you never saw it until it was too late.
When you know that, if you'd stopped for one second and looked at the situation, you'd realize that you, yourself were the reason things were falling apart, but you were too stubborn to change your ways...

It ******** hurts. It's a wound that doesn't just heal.
It's something you'll carry for the rest of your life, I guess.

It's the kind of thing that makes you hate yourself. Makes you doubt yourself.

[spica dvir]

cleaned & dusted my room at two in the morning for no reason other than because I was sick of looking at the mess
first thing whenever I wake up tomorrow, I'll vacuum


if I even go to sleep ... I'm feeling oddly energized right now

[Everyday Arson Man]

I kind of sometimes wish Arlene and I worked out, sometimes.

Three. Friggin'. Years. I was terrified of her, for a good portion of it. But even so? Three years, she stuck around - no. She fought for me. Through every fight, through every death threat her husband made to me, through every ounce of drama her family threw out her for having an affair with a high schooler, for every time she threatened to show up at my front door and expose everything to my parents. She still tried her best for me, and she has shown me more dedication than I honestly ever thought humanly possible.

...Especially for me. Plain, boring, generally unattractive and unnoticeable me.

You know, when I left? She said, "I hope somebody does this to you, someday. Not even out of spite, just so you can understand how I feel right now." Some nights, I genuinely think I've been cursed. Sam did it to me, without a second thought. That was my fault - I got attached to nothing. But when Ellie walked out, after I tried my hardest, and did everything I could... I really wondered.

From there on? Well, I've tried to make myself "better," and in the process? I've lost sight of who I am so many times. Crises of self are commonplace these days, as I struggle to understand how I got by before. I desperately grasp at who I was, because some things just consume me these days. Work. Bills. Ghosts. A ticking clock. And I find myself needing others more and more, which scares me, because I know that the only thing I can give back is me. And if I don't even know who I am, that's not really any kind of bargaining chip. So I try to stay alone, because I don't want to even try.

But, ha. I end up trying every now and then, anyway. And all seems pretty well, for a little. I get a glimmer of, "Hey. Someone else /can/ see me for who I am." And I let my guard down, just before life reminds me, "No. They can't."

It's not even K that has me down. No, it's me. It's always been me.

[Jemnu]

i feel empty. i want someone here, beside me. helping me sleep. taking away the nightmares.