Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023]

Before I go, I've got to know:

Is that what you mean to say?	29.2%	[ 743 ]
Before I rise to my defense,	5.0%	[ 127 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,	5.6%	[ 142 ]
Before I build that wall of words,	4.3%	[ 110 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?	10.2%	[ 260 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,	9.8%	[ 249 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.	6.1%	[ 156 ]
When I speak and when I hear,	2.9%	[ 75 ]
Let the love light shine through me.	26.8%	[ 681 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2543 ]

[top_spy]

Vagabond Hero

[kaycikins]

I sounded stupid, probably.

[Vagabond Hero]

Relationships...
They really just wear you down sometimes.
I'm just not in the mood for another unless I find someone amazing.
If I just like someone a little, I won't try for it.
I don't think "well maybe things will warm up, maybe this will be great'
I'll never give it a try like most would
(And I'm not trying to say that's a bad thing)
But you have to be pretty damn special for me to even attempt something.

[top_spy]

It sounds rather silly of me to say things like this.

It's as though I cannot make up my own mind about who I am, what I am, what I want, what I hope to get out of life.
I'm so focused on trying to survive, trying to get through each day without trying to kill myself or wnating to kill myself. It's as though I'm missing the point.
So here I am, asking like a desperate, clueless idiot - What's the point?
I seem to cause nothing but trouble, but at the same time, I don't live to please people.
Funny; I can't even please myself.
Yet here I wander, in my mind as well as in this whole world outside my head, like some kind of vagabond in search for answers that will never appear; search for satisfaction or love which doesn't exist. Yet I get hopeful at the thought of finding someone who is in the same path as me; just a simple person, with profound thoughts and beautiful dreams. With hopelessness, yet also with ambition. Someone with a split in there somewhere, with various personas battling it out within, instead of simply "one person".
It's impossible though. I know it. But I guess that's the only part of human nature which I can fully understand, and relate to.

We always hunger for, and yearn for, something we cannot have.

[jaime seamonkey]

It's so much fun being left out of plans.
Oh no, it's even more fun when you're part of the plans but they "forget" about you.

[kaycikins]

So...tired...

[FrangarNonFlectar]

top_spy

Vagabond Hero

[kaycikins]

I worry about you saying you're bisexual...

I know how your people, your country is about that kind of thing.

I don't know you well, but I hope all works out.

[top_spy]

Vagabond Hero

Relationships...
From my impression of them, they just seem to really just wear you down sometimes.
I'm just not in the mood for one unless I find someone amazing.
If I just like someone a little, I won't try for it.
I don't think "well maybe things will warm up, maybe this will be great'.
After all, for me, that's not realistic. Or, it's not realistic anyway. And I'd like to think I'm a realist.
I'll never give it a try like most would
(And I'm not trying to say that's a bad thing)
But you have to be extremely damn special for me to even attempt something.

[Oh snap its you]

I starve myself for days on in,
And throw up whatever I eat

[kaycikins]

Indeed.

You say you trust me a lot.

I can't say the same when it comes to you.

[tokyo dolls]

Ugh going to that club last night was an awesome idea.
I'm so glad D.'s willing to push me into things.
I get that my other friends don't want to be overbearing but sometimes I need someone to urge me on.
I wouldn't have gone if he didn't lecture me. :P
And I also wouldn't have danced with that girl or gotten her number if he didn't push me to.
Sometimes I just need someone to light a fire under my a** a bit.

[top_spy]

It's true. Lonely people are always still up at ungodly hours in the middle of the night.

[HaveADrinkOnMe]

I saw him . The man I've been pining over since I was 15. The man who I've never talked to outside of a shop. The man who can make my heart stop no matter how much time has passed since the last time I saw him.
I can't decide if it's the worst, or best, part that I saw the recognization flicker across his face.
He remembered me too.

[Doccubus]

The carnival by my house opened up today.
I think I'm going to take my sister. ~ heart