pyukumukus
O.G. Elder
WE ARE THE
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100.0% | [ 207 ] |
| Total Votes: | [ 207 ] | ||
onyx_moonz
So I know that I wasn't here for this whole conversation that happened a week ago and I am a sucky person for bringing it back up, but as it stands I am Bringing It Back Up.
I feel like it's super important to address?
So I am in turn both VERY SORRY and NOT SORRY AT ALL.
It's probably just the sad talking, but I'm not really sure about the last statement. Even if a part of this thread is mine, I often feel like I don't belong. I feel more like a commentator in the conversations rather than a participant. It's my fault since I don't post here often, though so what else should I expect, right?
PART A. Not belonging. (I want to add scare quotes because I am OUTRAGED. AT. THIS. but I won't because I also very much understand the sentiment.)
This thread, in my view since I am obviously not a spokesperson for all beings in here, should, at its core, be utilized to:
Keep in contact with each other,
Express ourselves freely (obviously not utterly freely because When Does Anyone Do This? but at least as close as possible)
In other words, this should be a safe environment. Obviously it isn't totally safe but hopefully (!) it is approaching that idea.
All these wordy things meaning that OREO I LOVE YOU. And obviously you are not alone in feeling this way.
Regardless of whether you always have that lurking in the back of your mind or if it only comes up once in awhile like it did last week, you have those feelings
and even having those feelings once means I CAN'T allow myself to negate them.
I am so, so sorry that the way this thread has turned out and been shaped means things happen to bring upon that sense of not belonging. Or belonging, but not necessarily having a place that is your own and uncontested.
I don't know how to fix that.
I'd like to try though.
BECAUSE, belonging is important. And I know people saying that you belong doesn't matter if you don't believe it, but I really think you do. For me at least I feel like you have a place here.
I mean I could say I relate (which I do! Very much.) but I feel like that would be redirecting the heart of the matter to how I feel which is not the goal here.
PART B.
Commenting status VS Participating.
SEE THIS IS REALLY INTERESTING and I love that it got brought up because this is also Very Important.
I could get all willy nilly about "But what does commenting mean? Isn't it all subjective?" but that is not the heart of the matter, nor is it relevant to the conversation.
The way I'm going to take that for the sake of the discussion (just so my view of the matter is very clearly On The Table) is that as a Commenter you are simply seeing things as they happen, without feeling overwhelmingly connected to the events themselves OR feel that you are connected but doubt your ability to truly be a part of due to the acceptance of you or lack of from the others in the events.
And that as a Participator you have uncontested ability to remain and converse regarding such events. You are close to those who are also within the events and feel no sudden indecision over whether this is truly something you may have an opinion on.
In other words, if the forum were a Round Table then every Participator would have a chair while the Commenters would simply sit on the arm of a chair in someone else's absence and doubt themselves before speaking up.
SO! The matter of Who Has a Chair in our Table.
Oreo, you have a chair.
We all do.
Everyone on the first page has a chair that may sit and rot every so often from lack of use, but never fades, never gets pushed out of the room, never gets burned or taken away. That spot will never go away, regardless of how worn it is, if it creaks from use or still looks good as new.
The people who aren't on the first page but are still Presences in the thread also have chairs.
Again, this is all circling back to PART A, because that is the crux of the matter, but I feel like it's still important to talk about.
If anyone's willing, we could have a thread discussion to lay it all on the table because I'm sure other people feel like they're more of a commenter than a participator too.
I sure as hell feel like it. And no one has done or said anything to make me feel like that, it's all me, but that doesn't change the fact that the feelings are there.
I'm not sure what else to say. I don't have the right to force you to believe something or Tell you the Ultimate Truth and have you just accept it.
All I can say is I see a chair that has a cute little placecard in front of it with your name on it, and I've never doubted it being there.
It's probably just the sad talking, but I'm not really sure about the last statement. Even if a part of this thread is mine, I often feel like I don't belong. I feel more like a commentator in the conversations rather than a participant. It's my fault since I don't post here often, though so what else should I expect, right?
^ This just seemed important to highlight.
IN CONCLUSION.
As a thread we could address this and have a conversation speaking to whether we feel any of this applies to us (only of course if this is something each of you is comfortable talking about) because I don't think this is a one time issue and obviously it can be very nice to have something out in the open so it doesn't fester or turn into something someone is ashamed of feeling when there doesn't need to be any shame at all.
And Oreo, I love you v much and wish you all the non-sad and hugs and oreos you want in your life right now.
I'm sorry I missed this when it happened, and I'm sorry for bringing it back up again if it triggers you, and I'm sorry I'm gone so much.
But I really care about you a lot.
Very much.
I feel like it's super important to address?
So I am in turn both VERY SORRY and NOT SORRY AT ALL.
Orehiroda
Semper Tigris
- What? Not at all! You're never sad in here, or vibe killing. But also, this is your thread too, so you're allowed to come in here and talk about whatever you want
It's probably just the sad talking, but I'm not really sure about the last statement. Even if a part of this thread is mine, I often feel like I don't belong. I feel more like a commentator in the conversations rather than a participant. It's my fault since I don't post here often, though so what else should I expect, right?
PART A. Not belonging. (I want to add scare quotes because I am OUTRAGED. AT. THIS. but I won't because I also very much understand the sentiment.)
This thread, in my view since I am obviously not a spokesperson for all beings in here, should, at its core, be utilized to:
Keep in contact with each other,
Express ourselves freely (obviously not utterly freely because When Does Anyone Do This? but at least as close as possible)
In other words, this should be a safe environment. Obviously it isn't totally safe but hopefully (!) it is approaching that idea.
All these wordy things meaning that OREO I LOVE YOU. And obviously you are not alone in feeling this way.
Regardless of whether you always have that lurking in the back of your mind or if it only comes up once in awhile like it did last week, you have those feelings
and even having those feelings once means I CAN'T allow myself to negate them.
I am so, so sorry that the way this thread has turned out and been shaped means things happen to bring upon that sense of not belonging. Or belonging, but not necessarily having a place that is your own and uncontested.
I don't know how to fix that.
I'd like to try though.
BECAUSE, belonging is important. And I know people saying that you belong doesn't matter if you don't believe it, but I really think you do. For me at least I feel like you have a place here.
I mean I could say I relate (which I do! Very much.) but I feel like that would be redirecting the heart of the matter to how I feel which is not the goal here.
PART B.
Commenting status VS Participating.
SEE THIS IS REALLY INTERESTING and I love that it got brought up because this is also Very Important.
I could get all willy nilly about "But what does commenting mean? Isn't it all subjective?" but that is not the heart of the matter, nor is it relevant to the conversation.
The way I'm going to take that for the sake of the discussion (just so my view of the matter is very clearly On The Table) is that as a Commenter you are simply seeing things as they happen, without feeling overwhelmingly connected to the events themselves OR feel that you are connected but doubt your ability to truly be a part of due to the acceptance of you or lack of from the others in the events.
And that as a Participator you have uncontested ability to remain and converse regarding such events. You are close to those who are also within the events and feel no sudden indecision over whether this is truly something you may have an opinion on.
In other words, if the forum were a Round Table then every Participator would have a chair while the Commenters would simply sit on the arm of a chair in someone else's absence and doubt themselves before speaking up.
SO! The matter of Who Has a Chair in our Table.
Oreo, you have a chair.
We all do.
Everyone on the first page has a chair that may sit and rot every so often from lack of use, but never fades, never gets pushed out of the room, never gets burned or taken away. That spot will never go away, regardless of how worn it is, if it creaks from use or still looks good as new.
The people who aren't on the first page but are still Presences in the thread also have chairs.
Again, this is all circling back to PART A, because that is the crux of the matter, but I feel like it's still important to talk about.
If anyone's willing, we could have a thread discussion to lay it all on the table because I'm sure other people feel like they're more of a commenter than a participator too.
I sure as hell feel like it. And no one has done or said anything to make me feel like that, it's all me, but that doesn't change the fact that the feelings are there.
I'm not sure what else to say. I don't have the right to force you to believe something or Tell you the Ultimate Truth and have you just accept it.
All I can say is I see a chair that has a cute little placecard in front of it with your name on it, and I've never doubted it being there.
treint
Orehiroda
It's probably just the sad talking, but I'm not really sure about the last statement. Even if a part of this thread is mine, I often feel like I don't belong. I feel more like a commentator in the conversations rather than a participant. It's my fault since I don't post here often, though so what else should I expect, right?
- THIS MAKES ME EXTREMELY ANGRY. YOU, AND EVERYONE ELSE, IS JUST AS MUCH A PART OF THE THREAD AS ANYONE ELSE IS.
And 'good vibes'? Have you seen some of the depressing things we talk about in here?
This is basically our personal cry thread, j/s.
You should always feel welcome. And I guarantee that everyone else in here feels the same way.
^ This just seemed important to highlight.
IN CONCLUSION.
As a thread we could address this and have a conversation speaking to whether we feel any of this applies to us (only of course if this is something each of you is comfortable talking about) because I don't think this is a one time issue and obviously it can be very nice to have something out in the open so it doesn't fester or turn into something someone is ashamed of feeling when there doesn't need to be any shame at all.
And Oreo, I love you v much and wish you all the non-sad and hugs and oreos you want in your life right now.
I'm sorry I missed this when it happened, and I'm sorry for bringing it back up again if it triggers you, and I'm sorry I'm gone so much.
But I really care about you a lot.
Very much.
treint
onyx_moonz
I disappeared as I tend to do.
Apologies, all.
Apologies, all.
- Been busy, Nyx?
Also, I've already said my piece on the matter so I won't bother repeating myself, but I'd like to note that I heavily agree with everything in the post above.
onyx_moonz
treint
- Been busy, Nyx?
Also, I've already said my piece on the matter so I won't bother repeating myself, but I'd like to note that I heavily agree with everything in the post above.
Ehhhhh, yes and no.
College started back up on Monday, so my week's been kind of crazy. My new schedule is so interesting, I'm not sure whether I like it or not all I know is that it is interesting.
Also I've been working more? I mean, not a lot by "industry standards", but a lot for me. I'm babysitting 2 nights a week now as opposed to 1, and am doing the whole TA for $$ things 1-2 times a week in the morning, plus school Monday though Saturday and morning and night classes.
So it's all just been an adjustment.
And I'm supposed to be studying for the ACT and doing college work.
But I'm excited. My classes seem decent this quarter, and earning more money is nice.
treint
onyx_moonz
Ehhhhh, yes and no.
College started back up on Monday, so my week's been kind of crazy. My new schedule is so interesting, I'm not sure whether I like it or not all I know is that it is interesting.
Also I've been working more? I mean, not a lot by "industry standards", but a lot for me. I'm babysitting 2 nights a week now as opposed to 1, and am doing the whole TA for $$ things 1-2 times a week in the morning, plus school Monday though Saturday and morning and night classes.
So it's all just been an adjustment.
And I'm supposed to be studying for the ACT and doing college work.
But I'm excited. My classes seem decent this quarter, and earning more money is nice.
- Nice! Sounds like you have everything in order. I wish I could do college and work at the same time, aha, but that would probably result in me dying from trying to juggle so many things at once.
What classes are you taking?
onyx_moonz
treint
- Nice! Sounds like you have everything in order. I wish I could do college and work at the same time, aha, but that would probably result in me dying from trying to juggle so many things at once.
What classes are you taking?
Well, this first month or so is going to be a sort of trial period to see if it really does work. I agreed to the Saturday and Monday night babysitting gig, so I can't change that, but the TA work is really flexible. If things get to be too much I can do it less often depending on what I need, which is great.
It's crazy because lately I've been needing to do adult things like saying "Let me check my calendar" before scheduling something. Madness!
My classes are PreCalculus (Part 2/3), Introduction to Visual Technology, Introduction to Digital Photography, Story & Style (lit), and American Gov't/Econ.
Unknowingly I seem to have made this quarter out to be my "Learn how to use all the Adobe programs" quarter b/c in Intro to Visual Tech we're covering InDesign, Illustrator, AfterEffects, & Photoshop and in Intro to Digital Photg we're learning Lightroom.
pyukumukus
O.G. Elder
LATE-NIGHT RAINBOW CHICKEN TIME.
treint
- I still consider that to be my greatest accomplishment of my entire artistic career.
pyukumukus
O.G. Elder
You should consider using it as the logo for the PFL foundation.
And I, as your main opponent to this idea, will do this to you and your corporation when the time comes. There can only be one. * ^*
And I, as your main opponent to this idea, will do this to you and your corporation when the time comes. There can only be one. * ^*
pyukumukus
O.G. Elder
Semper Tigris
- oh bother
our basement flooded like three days ago, and now the carpet just smells super freaking bad and it's not drying and it's getting worse
Semper Tigris
- Well some middle aged dude hit on me at work today.
It went from a compliment to him asking if he had a chance.
Awkwaaaaard. I was so uncomfortable
Also the halo on this is super pretty. Too bad it's pink
pyukumukus
O.G. Elder
treint
- That's unfortunate, Jamie. e___e Super awkward, indeed.
Is your basement alright now? /super late reply to everything in the universe
I finally got back from the Phoenix conference yesterday. I have so much homework to catch up on now, ahahaha /dies
On a related note, it's 6 AM and my Linear Algebra homework is telling me I need to use Calculus I haven't touched in far too long in order to solve a problem I have no clue how to even begin to solve. burning_eyes