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xMercutio Tx

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Birthday: 03/15


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uh. . . . this first entry is just for sex-ed class


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Beloved Carmine Report | 11/16/2010 8:28 pm
Beloved Carmine
dude call

Sometimes when s**t happens, you want to be able to articulate the experience more than just you've, taken a s**t. Here are some s**t definitions to help you explain the situation better to your friends and family...

Ghost s**t

You know you've s**t. There's s**t on the toilet paper, but no s**t in the bowl.

Teflon Coated s**t

Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of s**t on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey s**t

This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your a** 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This s**t leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought s**t

You're all done wiping your a** and you're about to stand up when you realize've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead s**t

This kind is the kind of s**t that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly s**t

You s**t so much you lose 5 kilos.

Right Now s**t

You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

King Kong or Commode Choker s**t

This s**t is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of s**t usually happens at someone else's house.

Wet Cheeks s**t

This s**t hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your a** wet.

Wish s**t

You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no s**t!

Cement Block or Oh God s**t

You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you s**t.

Snake s**t

This s**t is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork s**t (Also Known as Floater s**t)

Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This s**t usually happens at someone else's house.

Mexican Food s**t (also called Screamers)

You'll know it's alright to eat again when your a*****e stops burning.

Beer Drunk s**t

This happens the day after the night before. Normally your s**t doesn't smell too bad, but this s**t is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of s**t also usually happens at someone else's house.

The Frightened Turtle

The kind of s**t that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in

The Bungee s**t

The kind of s**t that just hangs off your a** before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire s**t

The kind of s**t where you eat really spicy food and your a*****e feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler

The kind of s**t where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber

The kind of s**t that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang

The kind of s**t that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Incredible Hulk s**t

The king of s**t that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

The Jack the Ripper s**t

The kind of s**t that yanks out the hair of your a** as it pushes its way out.

The Party Pooper

The giant s**t you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas s**t

The kind of s**t that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

Dirty Bowl s**t

The kind of s**t that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City s**t

When you sit d
X_iiHinataiihyugaii_X Report | 12/05/2009 9:34 pm
Hey its me Miku <3
Chaotic Aftermath Report | 08/27/2009 3:05 pm
Chaotic Aftermath
stressed scream HURRY UP! scream
Chaotic Aftermath Report | 08/27/2009 2:54 pm
Chaotic Aftermath
iI hAwAiIaN BoI iI Report | 08/09/2009 4:14 pm
iI hAwAiIaN BoI iI
Dude ur freakin krazy selin ur gloves for 50,000g!!!!
X_iKiNKY-AZN_X Report | 07/30/2009 12:18 pm
NO Hiz NOt.
Dark_light_alls Report | 07/30/2009 11:17 am
I love both they are my equals!!!!!!
Dark_light_alls Report | 07/30/2009 11:10 am
Exactly ^^ I like Apple pie!
X_iKiNKY-AZN_X Report | 07/30/2009 11:09 am
Hiz NOt MAd.
Dark_light_alls Report | 07/30/2009 11:08 am
Do I ever make sense? I mean really




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