I'm Tannsy and this is my new account. Click here to find out what happened to my old one. (Journal entry is friends only)

User ImageI'm a thirty year old woman from the Ohio River Valley area. I'm a teacher and a musician but I've been a slave to academia. I love flowers (which is kinda obvious since my username is in reference to tansy, the flower) and my favorite flower of all time are sunflowers. I love sunflowers because they're tall and majestic, and even in the hardest rain, the darkest night, and the fiercest wind they stand strong and bright. I like to think that's how I am. My goal in life is to be a wife and mother, and one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through was giving birth to our stillborn son, Joshua Ryan, on May 30, 2007, an ectopic pregnancy, and several miscarriages. I will always wonder who those children would have been. In 2017, we were extremely thrilled to announce that we were expecting our rainbow babies, twin daughters we plan to name Anastasia Rose and Gabrielle Rian. Check out our announcement here. Anya and Brie were born very prematurely, each weighing just over 1lb. Anya fought hard for 60 days and went to Heaven after battling sepsis. Brie, our surviving twin, continues to fight very hard in the NICU. She is almost 8 months old, and up to 10lbs.

I met my husband, James, when I was thirteen and we've been together since August 2003, almost fifteen years now! He was diagnosed with aplastic anemia, and then leukemia in January 2009, relapsing again in Spring 2013, and each time we fought it together. We eloped on November 5, 2013, after being engaged for several years and pushing our wedding back twice. Our spur of the moment wedding was an exact week before he received his bone marrow transplant. Getting married and him getting his transplant gave us hope and a future that at one point we never felt was possible. After transplant, he had severe complications and almost died, but we were able to move to New York where he was able participate in a clinical trial that saved his life. We finally returned home in 2015 he is doing well! Teaching, coaching, athletic directing and enjoying his second chance at life. Since then we've renewed our wedding vows, bought land to build a house, and are excited to raise our daughters and any future children. James is a Gaian as well. His username is Enfynity. You should totally check him out, he's a pretty cool guy, even if his profile is really outdated! (And by outdated, I mean by 8+ years).

I made this account primarily for changing avatars (I never change my main account and now it looks like I'll never change this account either) and for playing zOMG. I was really bummed when Gaia took zOMG down, because while I did like the game, I also used it as an imaging tool, making it an ugly avatar that represented chemo and the bad guys representing cancer. Chemo isn't pretty and neither was that avi, but both still kill. Now that the game is back and things are better in my personal life, I'm starting to remember how fun the game was on another level. smile


Viewing 12 of 218 friends


Where flowers bloom, so does hope.

Flowers are the only thing God forgot to put a soul into.


Viewing 10 of 20 comments.

Usagii Tsukino

Report | 04/19/2018 8:40 pm

Usagii Tsukino

Yeah I hear you. My mom is that person that always says that "things happen for a reason" or "Maybe God has other plans for you" or "Maybe it just wasn't meant to be" type attitude. I mean I get it and all, but I always want to know WHY you know?
Even back then in High school when my mom would buy me stuff from Hollister or Aberecrombie people would be like "oh she's rich"
First of all I didn't work when I was in high school and it was my mom who always bought me those clothes.
Or anytime people asked for money for whatever reason and I never had money on me they would think that I don't want to help people to help them
with whatever struggles they had and what not. Its not like I don't want to help, I just never had cash on me. I never bought food from school.
To be honest I never ate at school until I got home from school at 4PM. Once in a while I would grab like a bag of chips and a gadorade.
I always asked my mom why people would be jealous of me and what not and she would tell me things like "because you are pretty' or "because my parents give me and get me things, that they wish they had that kind of life style and whatever"
Usagii Tsukino

Report | 04/19/2018 3:04 pm

Usagii Tsukino

Awww I'm so very sorry things didn't work out for you at times. ):
I understand its hard, my boyfriend had to go on trips for work before too, but there was nothing I can do about it. Believe me I wanted
to go with him to those trips, but his job way paying him to be there and they weren't allowed to being loved ones. Even people who were married
weren't allowed to bring their husbands or wives.
I always cried when he went away. I hated being away from him. Yeah he would text and call me, but its never the same
Yes its better then nothing, but still.
Usagii Tsukino

Report | 04/14/2018 10:26 am

Usagii Tsukino

Oh wow you really have had it rough.
I am so sorry for all you have gone through your life. I'm sure its hard to lose your children. I can't imagine until I become a mom one day.
Well I am always here if you need a shoulder to cry on. Its what friends are for (:
I would be mad at my boyfriend/husband if he has to go somwehere for work too, but on the other hand if he requested the
time off and they just couldn't give it to him, there is nothing me or him can do. Sure I can get mad and angry all I want
but its not in our control either.
I especially would be super pissed it it happened on our anniversary, or if we were on our honeymoon and he decides to come back early for work.
To be honest I wouldn't talk to him for a while from anger.
His boss at the time when he was a department manager went on vacation with his wife for an anniversary I believe and
they called him to tell him stuff was going on and I am not sure if they asked him to come back early or not, but he cut the vacation
short and came back early. His wife was so pissed they ended up getting divorced.
Its like dude come on you can call them on the phone and tell they what to do and not to do. You don't have to ruin your vacation, just because
s**t is going down and they will die without you...
Usagii Tsukino

Report | 04/13/2018 11:01 pm

Usagii Tsukino

Oh wow! Iv never been to the Grand Canyon,but Iv always wanted to go!!
Iv been to Vegas a few times with family, because my moms cousin and his wife live there.
I only started going more because of my boyfriend, since I rather go with him then my parents, I mean who would want to
go with their parents now a days? Especially when they are over 18. I know they can't drink till 21, but still
people love to go to Vegas with friends or loved ones. Believe me I enjoyed it a million times more with my boyfriend
then I ever did with my parents.
I wish I went to Vegas on my 21st birthday, but I didn't really have anyone who would go with me that were
21 or over. I was really bummed about that.
That sucks that your husband had to work. If my parents didn't care about me getting pregnant me and my boyfriend
may or may not have gotten pregnant by now.
How did having twins feel like?
I plan on getting as drunk as I can on my birthday! LOL
or maybe a little the night before if It becomes possible.
The first time I went to Vegas with my boyfriend was after being with him for 3 months for his bowling tournament at the time, and we
stayed and Caesers Palace and it was awesome! The room was nice and clean and just beautiful.
Iv always wanted to stay at the Venetian or Ballagio though, but its expensive.
I'm excited to see which Hotel it is!! lol
Usagii Tsukino

Report | 04/13/2018 10:57 am

Usagii Tsukino

I'm not exactly sure, because my boyfriend is surprising me lol
he wont even tell me what hotel we are staying at and what we are doing and eating at on my birthday on Monday.
I'm really excited!! The gift he got for me came in the mail the other day and the box
is huge!! I'm so curious on what it is!! lol
I know I'm going to drink like crazy on my birthday and probably the day before too lol
Usagii Tsukino

Report | 04/11/2018 10:54 am

Usagii Tsukino

Iv been wanting to bake and make fondant decorations, but being home alone
is really hard for me since I wont be able to get the stuff I need and put them back when I'm done.
Only time I would be able to do any of that is on my boyfriends days off and or weekends when my mom is home.
I'm happy though that my boyfriend got me a wheelchair for the month, that was it would be easier for me to get around when me and my boyfriend
go to Las Vegas for my birthday next week. I'm really excited to get the hell out of this house.
On the other hand I really don't want to be in a wheel chair being pushed around on the strip.
But I do not have a choice at this point..
I really thought I would have the boot by my birthday, so I could kinda walk, but no... oh well.
nothing I can do about it.
Usagii Tsukino

Report | 04/09/2018 1:58 pm

Usagii Tsukino

Yeah, I hear you! I will make sure I tell the therapist that I want to be
a pro mermaid one day and start swimming and getting practice on holding my breath underwater. Maybe in a few years ill become one.
slowly, but eventually. Plus I have to sell myself on social medias as well.
The last time I went to get that big splint off.. I thought I was getting the boot, but I was put into a hard cast instead...
I was so mad... I still cant put pressure on it and it frustrating...
But on the plus side my boyfriend got me a wheelchair, so I can actually go places and do more, without having to use the walker and get
my left leg super tired, since all the pressure is on my left leg.
The problem also is that anytime I stand I always put my weight on my right side, so you can imagine how hard it is for
me to not be able to use my right side like that.
In 2 weeks ill be getting my boot finally and hopefully will be able to put some pressure on it before starting therapy.

Report | 03/30/2018 11:51 pm


mhm! smile

Report | 03/29/2018 8:00 pm


it definitely doesn't xD well i guess things have to evolve for the better i miss them old days though

Report | 03/26/2018 3:58 pm


Thank you!! and its okay xd kinda hard to get on much these days anymore


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