Symbolism of number One

Symbolism of number One's avatar


  • Add to Friends
  • Send Message
  • Trade Items

Equipped List

Wish List



Number One symbolizes many things - but the most important one for me is - solitude. What am I doing on Gaia, then? That's a good question. I'm not sure I can answer that. But I'll try. There's a sentence that keeps coming back to me lately. It's not something I've come up with by myself, it was something I heard at one of my classes, actually. One of my teachers said, quoting someone else: "Without interaction with other people nothing makes sense." I kept thinking about it, because if it's true - then things aren't looking very good for me. So, I guess that would be the answer to the question posed above - I'm here to check whether that statement is true. At least whether it's true for me.

And now a new... well, it's not a song. I'm not even sure if it can be called a poem. It's a piece of text, for lack of a better term.

Als mein Vater
mich zum ersten Mal fragte
was ich werden will,
sagte ich nach kurzer Denkpause:
„Ich möchte glücklich werden.“
Da sah mein Vater sehr unglücklich aus,
aber dann bin ich doch
was anderes geworden
und alle waren mit mir zufrieden.

Liselotte Rauner

The profile description above was written in 2008, when I first joined Gaia. I was much younger, angstier, but also more hard-working and conscientious.
Not sure what to say now, except that I still come on Gaia to dress up my avatar and talk to a couple of friends that still use this site. Oh, and also WG subforum is cool.


View Journal

My shopping list

I'll be writing about the items I want to get, and strategies to get them.


View All Comments

RainbowBubbles Report | 06/07/2017 9:40 pm
oy! >.< Just how poor do they want you to be in order to be a "hardship" case?? geez. It's pretty staggering to think that it'd be twice as cheap back in your home country, though. I hope you can get something figured out!

Ugh, yeah, the weather is being hot & sunny, warm & overcast (now), and next week, cool and rainy. What a strange time of year.

Magic the Gathering? Oh boy. That wasn't very sporting of them! I mean, if I were new to a game, I'd at least play a bit more accommodatingly (if I wanted that person to enjoy the activity with them, that is). I mean, in playing with other people, the goal is to: 1.) Enjoy the activity together or 2.) Win at all costs even knowing that one person is new to the game
The 2nd is probably what your bf and his friend had in mind, apparently. To me, what's the fun in beating a newbie? Rude and cowardly. It certainly doesn't make you want to play the game with them in the future, I'm sure. I mean, I'd be hella pissed if my SO did that to me. "Wow, if you guys didn't want me playing with you guys, then just be upfront about it!" or something. I mean, that certainly doesn't seem like your bf had your enjoyment in mind, which makes me kind of mad. evil I hope you were able to talk to him about it.

And yeah, that pair of glasses were just overall terrible, I asked for my money back, which they did without any problems, and Matt called him mom and arranged for me to get her costco membership so I could order glasses, which I got yesterday. They're purple! And coated with a blue light filter thing that's supposed to cut down on eye strain when looking at computer screens and such. But it makes everything look yellowy, haha. sweatdrop OH and I only found out afterwards that my frames were actually kid's frames. >.>;; But day 2 of wearing them, and no problems so far? But I'm realllly hoping these don't pinch my head like the last pair, since I'm tired of looking for glasses. -_-; Oh. and now I have to find dental care with no insurance. gonk now I'm cursing my past self for neglecting my teeth care too. emo
RainbowBubbles Report | 05/28/2017 3:54 pm
A QUARTER?? geez, that's pretty stingy!! And after doing all that to show that you can't afford it, wtf. gonk Wow, that would be pretty sad if it were cheaper for you to get it done back home... Well, at any rate, I hope that you can figure something out soon! heart heart

hmm, they're medium sized fancy rats, so not super huge? though matt keeps on trying to feed them, so the white one is quite large now. stare I've posted pics a few times on facebook, but I have a couple of pictures on tumblr if you'd like to see!

oh, I actually didn't pay any attention to Guardians of the Galaxy either until very recently, when matt started to bug me about watching the first one so we could watch the 2nd one in theaters. I find both movies both funny and action-packed, with some nostalgia and feels. I love how they included a love for the old 70s and 80s music, cassette tapes.

whoa, ouch, that's quite warm! I'm lucky, it won't be that warm for a little while longer, but when it does, ugh, it's going to be 32.2-37.7+ degrees C during the hottest times.

ugh, I finally got my new eyeglasses prescription and glasses, but the outer edges are so thick that it creates a a slight but noticeable warped "fishbowl" feeling. Even when my eyes adjust to the sides, it looks weird looking down at the ground, so I feel like I may trip walking down stairs or something. I have 30 days to return it, I think, but it makes me wonder if my eyes can or should get used to such distortion, however minor. I just want to use my old glasses, but I'm forcing myself to at least try and see if I can adjust to these. I just hate the transition period to new glasses.
RainbowBubbles Report | 05/26/2017 8:11 pm
aww... I know insurance-related stuff takes a while over here too, but I hope that they get back to you ASAP!
hahaha, they're actually brothers, I think, they're part of the same litter. wink Some yaoi fangirl might anthropomorphize them and make a doujinshi about forbidden rat brother love rofl But in all seriousness, I only see them either fight or cuddle, but haven't seen any mating behavior... yet. lol

I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2, it was pretty enjoyable. Have you seen that, and/or the first one? I actually haven't seen many Marvel movies, a while back, I gave up watching Iron Man after the melodramatic beginning of the first one. rolleyes Maybe someday I'll give that one another try. But I received recommendations for other movies that are supposedly more lighthearted and fun (my preference), so I'm going to try watching the first Captain America, The Avengers, and Thor next. I've never really been a huge movie person, but lately, Matt has been getting me to watch more.

urghhh.. 31. I actually feel OK with telling people (like the person at the eyeglass store today) that I'm 30, but 31 feel so wrong = 3 =;;; Maybe starting from next year, I'll pretend not to know my age anymore, haha. blaugh

ugh, I've had a bad headache from last night, probably from another temperature/weather change that started today, another 5 days of hot and sunny weather.
RainbowBubbles Report | 05/21/2017 12:11 am
ooh, it sounds like things are at least proceeding, so that's a good sign!! Hope the wait isn't too long!

ah, yeah, my two pet rats are both boys, so they wouldn't wildly reproduce on their own, unless they found a wild rat nest xD but realistically, they'd likely be eaten before that happened sweatdrop but yeah, very strict rules about what animals come into the state. YET there always seems to be some boa constrictors and wild animals that show up anyway. >_>

thank you!! since I wasn't feeling very well at all prior to my birthday, I was really worried that I'd spend it feeling unwell and unable to do much, but it seems my wish for just one nice day was granted, and I did quite a bit! I even went to the movies, which I never do.

oh, but a thought hit me the day after my birthday... I may be OK with the realization that I'm 30, but next year, 31...... gonk I spent so much time trying to brace myself for 30, I didn't think about after 30. I'm sure it'll take some time, but it was kind of funny how "30" was just some kind of emotional wall beyond which I did not contemplate. I was so preoccupied with the simple fact of arriving at that milestone that my brain goes ????? at the thought of going past it. sweatdrop
RainbowBubbles Report | 05/16/2017 4:32 pm
urgh, sorry for the long delay in response, I've been really dizzy and unwell these past couple of days sweatdrop
oh, I hope that after they see your bank statements, you can get coverage! I hope they get back to you soon, if they already haven't.

yeah, I actually didn't like rats either, I hate their tails, but after doing considerable research on the most low maintenance pet for apartments, the answer was either fish (which I didn't really want to deal with anymore), or fancy rats - they're cheap, clean(er than other rodents), intelligent, some are actually affectionate, etc etc. And they aren't susceptible to some diseases that other animals are (like rabies, I think). Aside from cats and dogs, they're one of the few animals that I could feasibly bring back to Hawaii. But yes, my parent's dogs stayed back home, haha. Hawaii isn't very friendly with bringing animals out or into the state, since there are many endangered and endemic species there.

Oh wow, the weather sounds like ours right now, some bits of sort of warmishness, then back to chilly.
And hmm, tomorrow is my 30th birthday, but I couldn't care less in a way. I feel more concerned with cleaning up the apartment this week, haha. Sigh, maybe I really have hit that point in life already sweatdrop
RainbowBubbles Report | 05/07/2017 11:00 pm
holy cow, teeth-related stuff is so expensive gonk Really hoping that your insurance can help you out with that!!

Ah, I see, taking it one day at a time is good!!

oh, yeah, over here, before renting an apartment, you need to show that you're totally committed to paying for it/honoring the rental contract, so yeah, you put down some deposit money. But yeah, in the end, I'm just glad that we don't have to move all of our stuff and our furniture to another area of the apartment complex, which is practically the size of a small village, so we would have needed to rent a moving truck to lug the stuff to the other apartment. I'm most happy that we don't have to move to a foreign country because we didn't have any arrangements for my 2 pet rats, I might've needed to give them away to an adoption place, but who would want to pay money to adopt half lifespan rats when you could get brand new ones from the store for so cheap?

also, I get more time to use up all my fabrics that I've accumulated here. sweatdrop

thankfully, the 2 abnormally hot days passed without incident, and it's now cool again, probably until another couple of weeks (hopefully). How much longer until it gets warmer over there? (if ever)
RainbowBubbles Report | 05/04/2017 1:57 pm
mostly healthy, aside from your teeth? scapegoat found! razz but in all seriousness, I hope it's just a aesthetic thing!

oh, hmm, yeah, I see, that would make things considerably more difficult. what do you plan to do now?

as for me, yesterday we got news from matt's advisor that he doesn't need to go to Sweden in order to graduate!.. and then we found out from out apartment leasing office that someone put a deposit on our apartment LOL. sweatdrop But Matt talked to them and they talked with the person (who is apparently "picky"?? but then if she is, then we'd be doing her a huge favor cause lots of things about this apartment bother us haha), and that person agreed to switch to another unit. Otherwise, we would have had to move all our stuff via rented truck to some other unit. part of me is kind of disappointed in a way, due to the aforementioned irritations. But I'd really rather not have to move all our stuff around so maybe it worked out for the better?

And ugh, yeah, idk why the weather is being randomly hot for 2 days, but hopefully the forecast is correct and this is the last day that it will be this hot for a while. Just gotta tolerate it for one more day!
RainbowBubbles Report | 05/02/2017 6:44 pm
thanks! I'm finally starting to feel a lot better and went out without feeling terrible. And then tomorrow the temperature is going to jump 20*F and I'll probably feel like death again haha. x,D
yeah, but I think the cleaner they used was just clorox bleach. Whoa, that's weird that your spray didn't work, that would be pretty extreme if it actually did merge with the limescale, is it a very old building? at any rate, I hope it doesn't adversely affect your health.

oh no! sad if you haven't been accepted, then does that mean that you have to go home?
RainbowBubbles Report | 05/01/2017 6:30 pm
oh, the coast ride was kind of nice, I loved seeing the views, it was just a very taxing journey on my body and my stomach was hurting near the end. And I feel like my physical stamina and energy has been cut down significantly since.

ohhh, ok, that makes perfect sense! But don't worry, I got the gist of it biggrin
so far, so good with being leak free, but my only complaint is that the corner near where I sleep still kind of smells like chemicals, since they treated the walls for mildew/mold after all the water damage.
ugh, I remember back after I was 25, I didn't feel like it matched, and when I was 27 or so, I started to feel comfortable with it, and now, I don't really care, haha. Maybe I'm too much in shock. 30 doesn't feel right at all, so I'm probably having a "whatever" attitude toward it as a mental defense, haha.
Happy May!
so, any news about your application and stuff? o.o
RainbowBubbles Report | 04/27/2017 1:48 pm
ugh, sorry, I meant to hunker down yesterday and work on stuff, but matt kidnapped me to go driving to the coast in the loaner car since it was supposed to be the last day before we returned it. Turns out that it'll be another day, haha.

but hmmm, so if I understood that correctly, as a result of your early life upbringing, people develop a Sisyphus life script? When I first read that, I was utterly confused about how that could be, but thinking about it again, it makes a lot of sense (if my understanding of transactional analysis is correct, that is xD ).

I finally moved the bed back to the bedroom, and the couch back to the living room! it's kind of nice and convenient having bed in the living room since it's right in front of the TV, but we have a washing machine, dish washer, and dryer in basically the same "room" (since it's kind of an open floor plan and the kitchen and connecting areas are in one space), so it got pretty noisy sometimes.

and ok! I might think about the message that I'll write to them later on, I'll let you know!
ugh, I can't believe that it's almost the end of April already. gonk Now that I'm almost 30, it really does seem like time goes by so much faster, but it's kind of unsettling. Talking with my mom, it seems like that weirdness never really goes away. But I know what you mean about the cold being nice, I'm dreading the change to warm weather.



[b:08955bcb88]This is absolutely meaningless and preposterously inconsequential.[/b:08955bcb88]

(If you know where this sentence is from, PM me. ~_^)


Recent Visitors


Posts per Day: 4.69

Total Posts: 16884

Latest Posts