Symbolism of number One

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Number One symbolizes many things - but the most important one for me is - solitude. What am I doing on Gaia, then? That's a good question. I'm not sure I can answer that. But I'll try. There's a sentence that keeps coming back to me lately. It's not something I've come up with by myself, it was something I heard at one of my classes, actually. One of my teachers said, quoting someone else: "Without interaction with other people nothing makes sense." I kept thinking about it, because if it's true - then things aren't looking very good for me. So, I guess that would be the answer to the question posed above - I'm here to check whether that statement is true. At least whether it's true for me.

And now a new... well, it's not a song. I'm not even sure if it can be called a poem. It's a piece of text, for lack of a better term.

Als mein Vater
mich zum ersten Mal fragte
was ich werden will,
sagte ich nach kurzer Denkpause:
„Ich möchte glücklich werden.“
Da sah mein Vater sehr unglücklich aus,
aber dann bin ich doch
was anderes geworden
und alle waren mit mir zufrieden.

Liselotte Rauner

The profile description above was written in 2008, when I first joined Gaia. I was much younger, angstier, but also more hard-working and conscientious.
Not sure what to say now, except that I still come on Gaia to dress up my avatar and talk to a couple of friends that still use this site. I use a male base and often try to make my avatar look feminine or androgynous, which is a way for me to live out my genderqueer identity, at least to an extent, since I can't express it safely in real life.
Oh and also, WG subforum is cool.


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Paula with Love Report | 07/18/2019 11:58 am
Paula with Love
Love your style heart
RainbowBubbles Report | 02/20/2019 9:34 pm
hey dear~! sorry, haven't logged in for a long time, but thanks! <3 I love your avvie and color scheme! heart
MelficeDemon Report | 12/10/2018 4:44 am
Hey there. Here I was, finally managing to send you a "proof of life" only to mess up to reply in time again. ^^°

Seriously hope your year has been better then mine, 'cause mine probably has been cursed or something. But I spare you a long text of me just ranting on and on. xD
Just glad you still remember me. cat_whee

How has it been going for you?
MelficeDemon Report | 11/28/2018 3:03 pm
Melfice was here >29.11.2018< cat_ninja
Stroika Report | 10/15/2018 11:49 am
xp I've figured out the profile chat again!! lol!

It never gets cold in the Caribbean, so that's not the reason... but the flu seems to be going around in my household, because two of my sisters are sick..No sore throat today, only sniffles.

One day you'll be convinced to have a smartphone.... that reminds me, I dated a German guy who refused to use one... so when we organised our dates we used email mad .... if I had any emergencies along the way, guess what??? No way to tell him. SMH. Even a burner phone would suffice to communicate! (Not pointed at you, I mean him!!)

Oh noooo! What in heavens name did he eat? Is he still vomiting now?

Yep, I decided to work on my life, I don't miss dating so much, and I have always been one to be comfortable with my own company... It strikes me odd when people hop from relationship and person to person! Give yourself the time!

I don't even miss that short guy ex now that I think about it. But that was the worst heartache ever! Sadly, another ex recently tried to pop back into my life; I guess he wanted to see if he had any hold on me still? But it didn't work! Over him too!

He was very fit, yes, his obedience was probably 7/10 because if he really did what I wanted him to do, he would have wifed me up! LOL. But overall he was a really gentle guy, I still wonder what drove him to join the army, but when we were together there wasn't much talking going on lol.

I haven't changed my appearance for a guy per se .. I just put on lots of weight and I look like a potatoe...

I hate that sometimes my boss throws me to the wolves and she knows I'm still a noob! Otherwise, if I knew what I was talking about, I would barely have a problem to speak. xp gonk
Stroika Report | 10/13/2018 7:55 am
I somehow managed to reply to your profile comment on my own profile rather than yours.... wtfff is going on lmao
Stroika Report | 10/13/2018 7:53 am
I seem to have come down with something, I had the chills last night, cold sweating even though it's warm...
(as of writing however, I seem mysteriously fine minus the sore throat )

whaaat? How do you survive without a smartphone?!

a 'BF'?? What is that even?? Hun, I haven't graced my eyes on the male figure since 2016! They have collectively been total wastes of my time AND the purveyors of heartache. I gave up on dating since then and have focused on my career ever since.

I got burned badly. I decided to come out of my comfort zone and date a guy who wasn't my type. He was this short, stocky builder guy with an anger issue and even bigger napoleon complex. Anyways we dated from like January 2016-June of the same year.. met the parents even. He was obsessed with wanting children with me and begging to have one as soon as the "time was right". Yuck. As you may know, I don't really like children, and in my heart I knew he wasn't the one for me. So one random day, as I was preparing for my final law exams that I agonised over and told him about for weeks beforehand-so he knew how important they were- he randomly picked a fight with me and decided to end it over the phone. The fight was soooo petty, I didn't think it would lead to that outcome. Imagine being stressed to your wits end, and having some ******** decide to s**t on your feelings in the midst of it all! And to top it off, not barely a fortnight later he was loved up with a young lady, sharing their DEEP LOVE all over instagram, with the saccharine puke-worthy captions..! If i was so constituted I might have sent the lovebirds something in the mail... But I digress...I barely passed my exams but I did anyways! I then decided to take a trip to Japan a month later, and on the way back as the plane layover in Dubai I met an Arab-English bloke. Very nice and lovely guy but the recent heartbreak was too much. I still went for dinner with him though, lol,free food. He still chats with me now and then though. After that I met an AMAZING Scottish solider, gawd he was a delight!!! But it fizzled because he had to go to Afghanistan and I was returning to Trinidad. I still have him on my whatsapp and I still (literally) dream about him, but I know its never to be since he's got a gf now, maybe she's his wife too.

So I don't date, don't care for it, I flirt a lot online, that's about it.

Oh and i got way uglier and put on weight.... it's tragic.

Hmm. I can't say I'm happy with my job. Its pushed me to talk before an audience everyday and I HATE IT.
But it could be worse. There's flexibility you don't get with other jobs. I'm looking for an in house counsel job nonetheless.

Yes, it seems a lifetime ago.. that's why we shouldn't waste our times on the petty things.... life and time wait for no one.
Stroika Report | 09/26/2018 9:46 am
Hey hun, what kind of sick are you? Is it the flu??
Also are you finally on whatsapp??

No I didn't know that you started your PhD but I'm so glad to hear it!! And what is your life like in Berlin?! I'd love to visit one day.
I went back to England AGAIN (lol) for about a year, then came home to Trinidad in 2016, qualified as an attorney (yippie!!) and have been here ever since working in a law firm... itching to go somewhere again though...I MISS MY EUROPEAN LIFE!!! gonk gonk gonk
Stroika Report | 09/19/2018 8:45 am
Yes, I have (and I think now for good reason, considering the furore surrounding FB and their security...).
Stroika Report | 09/19/2018 5:34 am



[b:08955bcb88]This is absolutely meaningless and preposterously inconsequential.[/b:08955bcb88]

(If you know where this sentence is from, PM me. ~_^)


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