AboutSilence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
its all fun and games ill sumbody gets hurt cause the its dead a** funny
always let me kno if yur offended cause i might wanna do it again
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good.
NOTES ON LIFE:
I get plenty of exercise: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
Like Daddy always said: If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit!
Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it.
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning 'to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet'.
I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I'm on my last one.
Everyone has the right to be stupid. Some people just abuse the privilege
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall out of a window...I laugh.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match it for me at kick boxing.
The most dangerous enemy is that which no one fears
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
If you can't beat them, join them. If you can't join them, bribe them. If you can't bribe them, blackmail them.
i admit nothing, deny everything, demand proof - then blame a Private.
The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.
If at first you don't succeed - cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!
Consciousness - that annoying time between naps.
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up."
A friend trys to help you when you get hurt, a true friends sits there laughing their a** off saying, 'Dude, you're an idiot!'
A friend will bail you out of jail, a true friend will be there next to you saying "damn that was fun!"
A friend will tell you when your wrong, a true friend will wait for you to screw up so they can laugh in your face.
A friend will encourage your choices in life, a true friend will write them down for black mail.
A friend will help you study for a test, a true friend will help you procrastinate studying for a test.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
I don't fight with idiots; they bring me to their level then beat me with experience.
I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...