My life is literally living hell. My step-father is abusive and a complete a**. I know mum tries but it still seems like nothing is happening. Constantly living in fear of not only my own but anyone around him when he goes off.... I try to hide behind an act. I act like everything is ok and that he is just annoying (like any other parent). only my close friends know differently.
There is know way I would win a fight with him. I may act tough and can some what pull it off but that is only because I know the basic areas to take down an attacker. they will not work on an fulley trained special forces soldier that is off his pills. I don't care as much for myself as I do for my mother, my older brother and sister, my ste brother, and most importantly my baby sister who isn't even talking yet.
I wish someone would come and save us by killing him. I have never wished death upon someone before.
My friends are the only people that keep me stronge enough to live with it and learn not to tick him off. But at the same time I am teaching my self to not stand up for myself. My friends keeps me from going insane. Each day I am given strenghth that carries me through the day of school and practice. By the time I get home everyday I am tired and my muscels hurt. I get home to him either on a rampage or fighting with my mum. I come in each day and pretend like nothing is happening. I do my chores then retreat to my room.
I am so stressed that I am not eating and I have considered suicide. As well as cutting myself.
I shouldn't be complaining. I should try to enjoy what can in life. I shouldn't be telling you all that I am but it feels good. to not have all of that wieght on me. I am almost positive though that it will come around to destroy me later.
I am not a depressing person though (whether you blieve it or not). I am really sarcastic. I do not think highly of myself so I do not have anything else to say.
Oh by the way this is meh dream avatar:
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If you want to help (cough cough) I would greatly apperciate it!!! (cough cough hint hint nudge nudge)
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