Shiarka Jonless

Shiarka Jonless's avatar

Last Login: 03/19/2018 5:16 pm

Registered: 01/17/2004

Gender: Female

Location: Lake Balboa

Birthday: 04/27/1979

Occupation: Comedian

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Glimpse of the Character

I was born with only one head. This was very upsetting to my parents. Especially since they had bought all those fireproof double neckhole outfits for me. They were doubly saddened when I bared no resembelance to a dragon. Not even the single headed kind.

They suspected the egg I hatched from was not at all theirs. By then it was too late and they would never be having that omlette.

They raised me anyway--for a while--, untill my true nature was revealed. This took all of eight minutes, but a loving eight minutes all the same.

I pulled a salamander out of the fire and it turned into a giant demon. We battled for ages and I finally defeated him by spitting out my dislodged tooth straight into his forehead.

The real me:
I work in a theme park. Universal Studios, Hollywood, to be precise. It is my job to deal with live people all day, wrangling them into shows, telling them where they can and cannot sit, and hearding them. I'm a human border collie.(But now I make other people do that(yay promotion!))

In my line of work, I am in a love/hate relationship with the whole of humanity. Humans piss me the hell off, but I still love them, because they can be super-awesome.

If you visit, please try to keep your brain inside your head.

They fired me for offending senior management.

Now I can become a NEET just like in anime. Woo. Wait... s**t... I'm gonna go broke doing that.

Freed from the evil power of Comcast who had once devoured the massive corporation I had already been working for, I am now a dishwasher. Though my grasp of the Spanish language is weak, I am a damn fine dishwasher.

I shall use this new job to improve my stats so that, before long, I will have taken over the ship and we will travel the stars as pirates. Space Pirates!


View Aquarium


View Journal

The Journal of No Return

Whatever falls out of my brain! O_o Plus Art, poetry, and fiction.

What You Say?

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Locke103 Report | 02/01/2018 3:50 pm
Kyoji Kasshu Report | 01/26/2018 7:42 pm
Nice hair.
Locke103 Report | 07/09/2017 10:37 pm
Kyoji Kasshu Report | 12/23/2016 7:42 am
Locke103 Report | 11/01/2016 8:36 pm
BabyIGot7InspiritExoLove Report | 05/14/2016 7:14 pm
Thank you for your purchases!~ rofl yum_puddi yum_strawberry
Darien S. Report | 02/23/2016 11:05 pm
User Image
komBOOcha Report | 10/16/2015 2:47 am
Thank you for purchasing! 3nodding
Twisted Lady Report | 09/15/2015 8:13 pm
Thank you so much! I love it!
Kyoji Kasshu Report | 07/10/2015 5:26 pm
So, what do you think of my avatar cosplay?


I have a two-dimensional friend
His name is Bill


Yay, parking!

Meet-up and Rally