About myself and other people

About me eh?...I am strong, independent in many ways, athletic, beautiful inside, and I am me, if you can't accept that then get off my page and stay out of my face! I am a life loveing person I can be your best friend but trust me you mess with me in the wrong way hurt me or anyone else close to me I will be the bigest b***h you will ever meet so be nice or get lost. I am very hard person to get close to but if you try hard enough and you have enough patients you might get close (friend wise!)

I LOVE WRITEING OBSERVE BELOW vVvVvV


Death And Life

I hold your hand as you whisper to me goodbye
my eyes fly open as I scream out your name
looking about a dark room searching for your face.
The shadows silently comfert me back into the world of rest.
The next day I hear tears falling down the steps
I rush to see what is wrong seeing my mother crying
She sits at the table her shoulders shakeing with each sound escaping her lips
I step twords her my hand raising to her shoulder
Her soft green eyes stareing into mine she whispers she is so sorry
There on the floor I lied dead, my pride and joy of life
laying in theform of my body there I watched myself bleed across the floor
My pride being who I am gone, My happyness laying infront of me
Dieing on the floor me as a person was standing befor the mirror
Watching my own death I run to my side holding onto my own hand
I hold my head in my hands pooring from my scalp is the deep purple liquid.
I can hear myself crying for help I ask again and again;
who has done this to you! to me!? And all I can is "mother"
then it all hit me, I wasn't the one dieing it was my anger and rage
for my lost mother for myself all the guilt left me at that minute.
I relized it wasn't suicide it was murder, my mothers own hands was the killers.
Slowly over sixteen years she finally got what she wanted, she
finnaly got the drama and pain out of me all the hate boiling up at her to make her look
inocent and perfect, to make herself feel better about herself!
I was done with it no more would I let her get away with this murder. She was
going to pay now for I was done dealing with all of this
I wanted to be myself again not my mothers horrible over weight
imbarasment of a daughter fallowing her around. I was threw with it I stood
Reaching my arm out pointing to my mother and softly whisperd
"I am done" She colapsed to her knees wrapping her arms around
my legs begging me to please forgive her to not leave, I knew this was apart of her
little game that she wanted so I kneeled down infront of her
and softly unwrapped her arms from around my legs and whispered "No more games"
I left her there on the floor and I walked away I was done I couldn't
stay there anymore, so I called up my gradien angel.
He pulled up into the drive way and helped me with my bags
He could see the death in my eyes, the death of the love for my mothers evil games
the death of myself, but he also saw the revived in my eyes the life I was
going to hold, the smile I could whear, the joy I could own.
No words were said on my way to my new hospital.
My angel would lean over everynight and heal a little more of
my wounds helping me walk a little farther in life bit-by-bit. He held me close
when I cried and when I didn't, I could see once again, I could see the life
I had the life I have now, my life with my father my angel, my savior.
He was there for me threw thick and thin, ready to let me spread my wings
and fly but still prepaired to catch me when I would loose balance and fall. I knew I didn't need to cry anymore that everything would be alright, that it was okay to fly away and be freed from my mothers games and killings.




~Friendship or Love~

They both like each other but were just too shy to say anything to one another...

There I layed on my bed thinking as I watched the mornings glory rise in my window. My thoughts ran wild like a swarm of hungry bees; 'I like him but I am so afraide of speeking to him, or anyone else around him for that matter.... that makes me look like a silly little shy girl, what if her's not into silly shy girls!?' The sun finally peeked over the mountains blinding me,telling me it was time to get up. I rolled out of my bed maying on the floor moaning to myself . Quickly I picked myself up and draged my feet to the bathroom and started the water. Looking in the mirror I growled "I am such a mess," I striped out of my way too big for me tee, underpants, socks and sliped into the hot water. The water felt good runing down my back threw my hair and across my chest, it was almost like a hug from the morning rain. I leaned my head back into the water thinking of him trying to memorize his face like charactors in a book do. His blue eyes, dark skin, and pink lips shimered in my mind. I heard a knock on the bathroom door "Charlie breakfest in five!" my father yelled disturbing my thoughts. "Alright dad" I yelled back forgetting his face and turning off the water. Quickly I pulled my hiar up into a pony tail and sliped into a pair of my old riped blue jeans and another too big for me tee. When I made my way out to the breakfest table my dad already had his food on his plates and he was sitting down skimming threw a news paper. I sat down and poored some cearial into a bowl and began to crunch into my Fruity Pebbles. I started to day dream again about him my father was saying something to me threw his news paper but I payed him no mind. Eventually my father asked a question and glanced over his paper to see my responce but all he really saw was my glazed eyes proped up on my hand. "Charlie? Come in Charlie, Charlie!" my father waved his hand infront of my face breaking my concentration. "huh? What?" I exclaimed with great inteligence as usual"Are you going to want to go to grandma Lains?" Oh God grandma Lains, where it always smells like cat pee how could I possably say no it's my fathers mother, he would be hurt if I said no. "Ofcorse I'd love to go" What was I thinking!? 'I'd love to go?!' My father stood up with a big grin crossing his face "Great I'll go call her right now" he moved to the phone them to his office and shut the door. I picked up my cell and called my best friend Randy she answered the phone with a bubble filled "Hey Charlie!", "Hey Randy what you up to?Wanna go hang by the lake?." There was a small giggle over the phone as she guessed "you goin' to grandma Lains huh?" I moaned slumping down into my chair and she let out a cheerful smile in her voice "Be there in five" Click. I loved Randy like my own sister she was always happy and I don't think we have ever not been there for each other she knew my family well and I knew hers just the same. We were considerd daughters in eachothers family almost twins. Just then I heard a honk from outside it was Randy I yelled down the hall to my fathers office "goin' out for a bit with Randy be back soon!" I ran outside befor I could hear my fathers responce and Jumped into the 94 Volvo. Randy sat across from me smileing as usual she pulled away and turned faceing me as she drove down the street "whats up?" She had big brown eyes tan skin and thick black hair she was absolutly stunning even in a baggy dirty tee shirt and shorts. Randy always reminded me of one of those exotic forgin modles on tv. "Just alot of stress, wanted to just get away and be a girl for a bit" She nodded faceing the road as we turned onto the highway. I turned the radio to K47.6 and started to rock my head to a new song ofcorse Randy heard it befor and was singing along to the tune, she even had a lovly voice.