Behind the Steel Girdle, Lurks a Creep ~

I'm a boy! Stop calling me pretty! >O<;;



Hey you! Yea, you…I see that you’ve stumbled onto my profile. Think you’re pretty clever, don’t you? Eh, more clever than me and my tacky profile introduction, I can promise you that.

Ahem, I believe it’s time for the famous obligatory one-sided internet introduction that is all the rage these days…and so, without further ago; The name’s Ducky. Or at least it is on the information super-highway which I prefer to badly spell as Teh Interwebz. I suppose I could tell you my life-story of how I was sexually abused as a child, dropped repeatedly on my head, obtained burns from being shoved into a microwave on a daily basis, how Marilyn Manson and Tim Burton make up the very air that I breathe, and how my cat, my parakeet, my puppy, my boa constrictor, and my koala were all tested on with radiation and spontaneously combusted yesterday morning before I drowned in my own tears…However, I’m not the typical emo / scene kid that I’ve been called. So, you won’t get any stories like that. And guess what, I don’t even own a koala, but my mom used to have a monkey ._. *Obligatory keyboard face*

As for what facts I’m really going to tell you, well now…that’s the tricky part, for you see, I’m an immensely complicated individual of the naturalistic variety ~ Okay, so really not so much.

Time for the most popular question to ever grace the surface of a computer monitor…

*Drumroll plox*

"Gender...?"

~ Oooh boy, where do I start? Biologically, I am what you call female; I’ve got breasts and girly parts, and every single day of my life I wish that I could go to the butcher and get my chest removed and then scrape out everything else that dubs me as a ‘chick,’ with the aid of a rusty spoon. Okay, so I’ve had to get used to living as a girl but the truth of the matter is that I identify very openly as a male. God, I wish there was a way to delete myself and change my sex option to male >.<; Alas, there is not, so I will express myself with unhappy faces made with numbers and punctuation signs >3 Ah, that’s a good one >O<; can’t forget that one and of course, this one DX That’s right, Ducky is a very sad and miserable clam because she was born as a SHE. So…am I a transgender? Ding ding ding! We have a winner folks! As of Thursday May 13, 2010, I 'officially' began identifying as a transexual - aka, a male in a female's body. I'm just a cool enough boy that I was born with a v****a, how many guys can brag about that, huh?! n______n

“Wut is with yur siggy pixor? Srsly?”

Well, first of all deary, what’s a pixor? Other than a badly spelled word that reminds me of the street-slang ‘penor.’ Heh, penor. Anywhosists, as you may or not be able to tell, I always wear wigs in my signature pix. Why? Well I’ll tell you why not, I do not wear wigs because I have cancer, am cosplaying an original character, or because my niece came at me with a razor last week, no no no, simply put, I suppose that I enjoy looking like an old person. Yup, cus old people rock mah socks. Actually, that’s a lie, old people scare me, especially when they reach over and say things like, “C’mere Uncle Mike, let’s go have some fun together, huh?” and then you look over at said grandfather Chuck and have to say, “But Uncle Mike’s been dead for thirty years,” O______O;; Ah yes…old people. But anyway, yes…my wig, that’s the explanation.

“And what about those fancy blue eyes? Them things real?”
Course they’re real silly, I was blessed with them from the great pink-clad fairy that resides in the back left burner of my stove n____n Where else would I get them, huh? ~*~CoastalContacts.com inevitable endorsing!~*~ (( I control your mind, the contacts, buy them! @__@ ))

“The rest,”

As far as other things about myself. I live in America --- I wish that I didn’t. I also live with my sister --- and guess what, I wish I didn’t live here either. I wish that I lived with my friends --- unfortunately, they live over five hours away from my current location. No, you don’t get to stalk me and my friends, but we all know that you want to. You’re a terrible liar and a horrible person. How do you sleep at night?

“How old am I?”

Ah…the other must-answer question of teh interwebz. I am twenty years old, ah yes, my grammar and horribly short attention span deceives you, doesn’t it? No body believes me T____T Really, I'm not fourteen, I promise!

“So if you're a he-she, then who do you do?

Sexuality. As you can imagine, the answer to that is just a touch-bit complicated @_@ Considering the ‘I'm a transexual’ factor, but the fact of the matter is that that doesn't really have anything to do with my sexuality. I've always liked girls. I just have. They're pretty, and soft, and snuggly, and usually aren't buff, and plenty of them make delicious cookies, while the others are fun to watch while they fail at making cookies. So do I like girls? Yes, ma'am! But...there are certain guys that I like, though I don't really like saying that I like all guys - then again, I don't like all girls either. The more that I think about it, the more that I tend to think of myself as pansexual - I really don't like the term bisexual, so please don't use it on me. Honestly, I like girls, I like guys, and I am in fact attracted to members of the third gender along with other transgenders and transexuals, but that doesn't mean that I don't have preferences. As shallow as it may sound, I'm very likely to turn a guy down if they're not Asian - I'm just not attracted to men of any other race, I don't know why o.O;; It's not that I'm racist, cus I'm not. I have plenty of male friends who are white, black, and everything in between, but I'm just not attracted to any of them like that. And now, the other thing about my sexuality. I'm deathly afraid of heterosexual relationships. I have no clue why at all. While in a female's body, I've been dating women, I had my try at men, but I didn't like it. It was like a total seme vs seme thing and it totally was not my bag. Now say, when I get my sex change, I have the feeling that I might become more interested in dating men, but I might date girls too.

In short, I'm a pansexual male, with homosexual tendencies who is rather heterophobic when it comes to who he happens to be doing *I'm not against straight people, I just don't want to be in a straight relationship! >O<;;*

Whoooo...well that was long and annoying. Yey! >w<

“We interrupt…!”

Guess what, my creativity is running low and so is my attention span! So now I get to list off my random interests!

JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN! Guess what! I’m a nerd! A BIG nerd! I love Japan and all things Asian. My biggest goal in life is to get to Japan. If it’s at all possible, I’ll probably end up living there one day. My heart would orgasm itself to death, yes it would. I also love the colors; Pink, orange, black, lime-green, and yellow! Drawing is my life, cosplay is my air, and creativity is my blood! And Idaho is my liver! I live on Moutain Dew and Cup Noodles *Hearty chicken flavor, cus dehydrated vegetable pieces are disgusting* I’m surprised that I don’t weight 400 lbs and I wish that I wasn’t American. Last but not least, Sarcasm is my defense mechanism…along with a small knife-bearing gremlin named Emmy-Marie.

~ Congratuations! I’ve wasted about three minutes of your life! Yey!!! Warm-fuzzies and sparkling champagne all around!