The voices just don't shut up...
I refuse to waste the words that mean the most...
...so if I ever say I love you...
...I'll mean it.
...but I've learned to love them
Okay so there's this boy… Apparently he's complicated.People who've known him forever. Don't know him. Apparently he's hard to figure out.But I think I already have.He's quiet.He listens to music 24/7.He thinks a lot more than he talks.He doesn't wanna mess things up,he doesn't realize that there's absolutely no way he could.He's reserved, he doesn't say much,but everything he does say is perfect.Sometimes he's very open. Maybe it was food or sugar or caffeine, But sometimes he opens up and says a lot.Once in a while something will pop out that he regrets,But what's said is said. He's not afraid to cry if he has to. He's not afraid of much that I can see. Wait! He's afraid of getting hurt. He would never admit it, but I see it. He doesn't take many risks, Maybe it's because he's smart.
Believe me. He is, but maybe there's something there it's fear. I have it too. No one wants to get hurt. No one sees how afraid I am after all I've seen. Maybe he's not afraid at all. Maybe it's all me… But either way He's amazing. He doesn't know just how amazing he is. He doesn't believe in himself as much as I believe in him. But I wish he did.
Sometimes it takes more than words to describe someone.
He's funny, he doesn't mind looking stupid, but then again its never a bad stupid… Not to me anyway
Nah … These don't happen much
It's awkward. Too many people around. It's quick, but I remember it. It's a cute awkward. I've come to expect it. He's taller than me so it works perfectly. Every second seems amplified, I don't let it show in my face but, I really don't wanna let go So much detail for one hug eh? I must be insane… Yup…
A text message?
This is most of it. I talk to him more here. The funny thing is… I can't see his face, its just words on a screen but, this is where I can see him. He says things he'd be too afraid to say in real life and he means every word… I hope.
I hold onto short little things,
I don't think he knows how much little things affect me. I don't think he realizes that I won't ever forget any of it. I don't think he knows that my diary is full of things I refuse to forget.
A phone call?
He doesn't talk much… Neither do I. Not on the phone anyway. Not to him. His silence makes me silent and strangely I'm okay with that. I'd rather have silence.
So much to write…
Well this boy is quiet. I've written this several times,
Several different ways.Some people don't like it. Some people wish he'd speak up. But I like him just the way he is.Silence makes him who he is. Silence gives him time to think of what he says. Maybe that's why what he says is so perfect?
I don't know.
But I'd rather sit in silence with him then have the most interesting conversation with someone else. Look what this boy has done? I've never been this crazy, but I guess I am now… Nothing I can do. So I'll just have fun with it. I'm not one to express emotions. Never been good at it I'm not good at it I probably never will be good at it. That's fine. Just coz I can't show them, doesn't mean they're not there. And as much as they annoy me.
They keep me happy.
The smile on my face isn't fake and hopefully it'll never have to be.
If I cry. I mean it. It's not a show.
If I laugh. I keep laughing.
And all of this happened
Coz there's this boy…
send me something?teehee