"Once upon a times always suck. Y'know that?"
There's a pause, and the person in front of you looks up, quirking an eyebrow.
"I mean, think 'bout it. Before everythin' got all Disney'd up, y'had a lot more depressin' things. Cinderella's sisters prolly bled to death because everytime they had to put their feet inta the damn slippers, they never fit. What they do next? Cut off parts of their feet. Ain't pretty. And the real little mermaid never got her prince. Turned to foam."
There's a pause and the woman cups her chin thoughtfully.
"Although she did turn into some air maiden or somethin'... That gave her a chance at gittin a soul and goin' to heaven."
Another pause before she chuckles and waves her hand in the air, as if she's swatting the conversation out of the sky as easily as she would a fly.
"Anyway, enough 'bout that. I suppose you'd like to know 'bout me? Let's get to that."
"The name, I suppose you already know, is Nai Phobos. I ain't tellin' you my real name, because that would be stupid."
Her eyes narrow.
"So don't ask. Fact, don't ask anything 'bout me. If I trust ya enough, I'll tell you some things, but m'trust is hell to come by. So far, only two people have truly earned it."
Her mouth swirls up in a bitter smirk.
"I admit, I'm a bit of a pessimist. I'm convinced my luck is screwed over tenfold. Still, for some reason or another, there's a bit of optimist in me, so that keeps me goin' and tryin', even when the pessimist says 'hell no'."
I have a bit of a temper, too. I mean, I've been gettin' better at holdin' it in, but I don't believe in being nice to stupid people. Ignorance is a different matter entirely. It's forgivable, curable. Lots o' ignorance and stupidity on the internet."
Now, I ain't sayin' I'm not ignorant, cuz I am. However, I'll bet I'm a lot more informed then some of the gits you run into around here. Ain't arrogant, 'tho. Just pessimistic and thankful for what I got."
I'm a lover of writing and readin' and really, any kind of art. I'm an artist myself, in fact. Got a nice little shop and everythin'. Business gets me by, right?"
I do video games, too. Just ask, and I mighta played whatcher playing. I dun F.E.A.R., Jade Empire, Knights of the Old Republic, JetSetRadioFuture, Halo trilogy, Oblivion, Legend of Mana, Kingdom Hearts... Just ask me."
I'm into anime and manga, too, along with American comics.
I'll put a list up... Eventually."
Just so you know.
Start ranting about it to me, and you'll learn right away that I don't care.
There are some people who would say that homosexuality is in our genes.
Maybe it's true.
Me, I like to say we're all a little bisexual, and just lean towards one thing or another or maybe both.
(You can like both white and dark chocolate, for example.)
Now, I made my decision regarding sexuality in middle school.
Up to that point, I had held the childish idea of "girls rule, boys suck".
You know, that timeless little rivalry.
However, by the time I entered middle school, I had realized something.
Both boys and girls can be kinda big dicks.
Now, natural pessimist that I am, I was struck by the thought that I would possibly never find my one true love, if there was such a thing, if I stuck to one gender.
I wanted to be with some one who I could genuinely be happy with, who I would grow old with and argue with him, but we'd always make up because the argument would just be that stupid and we'd end up laughing.
That kind of thing.
I'm a romanticist, you see.
So, one day, I decided to make my chances at finding a love skyrocket.
I became bisexual.
Now, even for some logical people who can understand this, they'd probably have a problem with just suddenly liking both genders, feeling sexually attracted to them, and such.
However, me, I'm an artist.
I know how to appreciate even the most gory of details in an artistic manner.
It was a smooth process for my mind to see both genders' bodies in an attractive way.
That was the hard part.
The easy part was what I had in mind all along.
I wanted some one whose personality would draw me in, make me smile, make me attracted.
Why the hell should I be restricted just because of what's in their pants?I'm looking for my Knight in Shining Armor, whether it's Lancelot, or Joan d'Arc.
I'm not exactly religious.
I mean, I went onto a Wicca streak in middle school, but I've grown out of it. Kinda. Some of it still makes sense.
However, I have a... Theist and Agnostic view on all of it.
In response to Atheists....
They usually say there is no proof on God.
However, think about it.
Some one who can create the universe, the world, humanity, all the forms of life we see...
Don't you think some one with that kind of power could hide themselves if they wanted to?
To the religious people, any religion...
I understand that it gets you through tough times.
However, for those who try and shove their opinions on others...
You're just going thousands of steps backwards.
I don't know if there's a God.
I might never know.
Should I spend the rest of my life wondering?
Should I spend valuable moments of my life arguing with people about it, for whichever side?
You know when I'll be sure?
Either when God Himself introduces himself to me on the street, or when I die.
It's probably going to be the latter.
However, I said I'm an agnostic theist.
That means I believe in some sort of afterlife, a God of some sort.
This is what I hope, what I've pieced together, what God could possibly be like.
...Not a He, but a She, a tentive, nurturing mother who gently puts us down on the path of life with worry, knowing there is only so much She can do, because She is only a mother.
...An artist, who sculpted and knit and drew the world into existing so many years ago with care, watching in fascination as Her daughter Nature brought it into something else entirely that grew in amazing ways.
...Not a hating individual, and will not send Her children to Hell for petty crimes such as not believing in Her, or falling in love with others of their own gender.
....The Guardian who reluctantly sends Her children to Hell, a time out when they have caused harm to their brothers and sisters and cousins. It will not last forever, but just long enough for them to learn their lesson.
...The gentle storyteller who tucks us to bed at the end of the day and life, and weaves pictures of things into our minds until we finally drift asleep, and wake up not remembering what happened in the late nights.
...Not telling Her children to hate others for their beliefs, for in the end, they believe in some version of Her or they don't, but they'll all go to bed sometime.
...Not a preacher of war or outcasting others, but a preacher of kindness and gentle words.
If you would like to gently debate with me over this, then please, send me a PM.
Also, I am not saying that is what God is really like...
But I hope it is similar, somehow.
Because, despite all the bad things people have done in the name of religion, thousands of other people have performed miracles in the name of their God.
My own aunt is religious and everyday, she saves hundreds of poor, abused, and stray animals, because she cannot stand to see a precious life destroyed in such a cruel manner.
Her church is not set in stone, literally or metaphorically.
She lives in the middle of Georgia, near a river, on a barn, where her two horses graze in the fields and her nine dogs and five cats, all rescued, play in happiness.
She is a beautiful woman, and her work is done in not the name of God, but in the idea of some one kind and forgiving.
She still has one hell of a temper, 'tho, ha ha.
Once almost broke down a window when we were in the parking lot of a grocery store after we had gotten everything.
There was a poor dog sitting alone in a car.
This was in the middle of summer, in Georgia.
There was no air conditioner in sight.
My aunt was prepared to slam her foot through the backwindow when the owner finally came back, wondering what the hell was going on.
Boy, he was lucky he didn't get a beating from my aunt.
She may be short, but she knows how to handle wild dogs and calm down horses.
He only got told off, and my aunt stomped with me back to the car, annoyed that she wasn't a policewoman so that she could just break down his window with a gun.
Bless her soul.
I'm a nerd, and something of a fangirl.
I've long grown out of my "spewing random japanese" and "freaking out" stage.
Watch out, to be on the safe side.
:3I am Penna.